(wow, I really need to make my yearly resolution to, you know, be more present on LJ? Or anywhere?)
While taking a bit of a breather amongst assorted chaoses (yes, I'm pretty sure you can have a plural of chaos....) by watching assorted random Netflix movies, I kept running into a Japanese film in which a nun (okay) who is also a ninja (ummm....) has to infiltrate a religious cult (....because of... reasons?) and gets hit with, and I quote, a "sex spell."
So of course, mind boggled, my brain resorts to a) trying to figure out how the heck that-all would work, plot-wise, and b) more importantly, whether it would be funnier to take potential fanfic in the direction of, "no, no; we TOTALLY have a sex spell, it's one of our most secret essential stealthy tactics," hijinks or "oh, darn it, I've absolutely been hit with a sex spell, yup indeed, however shall we fix that" hijinks.
Either way, hijinks.
(in other news, the Wikipedia discussion of films featuring ninja includes a rather dry note in the section about the sexier sort of ninja films that these films often include bondage elements, but fails to add, "surprising absolutely nobody" to that sentence)
Speed-reading a book description:
"Satan is determined to create his own Hell on Earth and has unleashed unfathomable chaos into the world."
"Satan is determined to create his own Hell on Earth and has unleashed unfashionable chaos into the world."
resulted in several moments of blinking and wondering how exactly that would look...
(well, I mean, I assume it would look terrible, but there are so many possibilities....)
The really weird (and yet... not surprising?) thing is how often it's "Hey, this story could work as RK fanfic!"
Me: Um... it's a very silly '80s sci-fi/fantasy movie about a horrible Cthulu-like monster who lands his space fortress on a medieval-fantasy-with-magic sort of planet so that he can attempt to kidnap the heroine, who is supposedly destined to bear a son who will rule the galaxy...
Fanfic area of brain: Yes, and said heroine has proactively decided that the solution to the invasion is to arrange a marriage with the prince of the other major kingdom, and is very determined about the marriage going through. As is the prince. In spite of their respective parents being all cranky about it.
Me: Oookay... yes, that is definitely a plot which resounds across assorted other stories, some of which are quite possibly fanfic already.
Fanfic area of brain: Spunky and resourceful kidnapped heroine, brave hero, assorted companions, including a snarky bandit chief...
Me: You know, you are making good points, but at the moment, I am getting distracted by the WORST SECRET TUNNEL ESCAPE ATTEMPT EVER, and will thus have to table this mental discussion.
Way back last Spring, when there were trailers for the two (two!) “Snow White” movies, I thought it was pretty clear which was going to be, you know, more interesting. I mean... Charlize Theron! Looking definitely evil! Kristen Stewart looking.... um... action-chick.. ish! Chris Helmsworth!
The other option, “Mirror, Mirror,” had Julia Roberts, and somebody who looked like Audrey Hepburn, and Nathan Lane, and fantastically colorful costumes which looked like Disney on pastel-colored acid , and trailers which emphasized the color and the humor and the fantastical elements—as opposed to “Snow White and the Huntsman,” which looked GRITTY and ACTION-ORIENTED and like the princess would be... well, more about the action, and the leading the forces of good to fight the evil, power-hungry queen who was literally draining the life from the kingdom, as opposed to being all chirpy birds and flowery dresses and prettiness and sparkles and dwarves on boingy accordion stilt things.
Not that there’s anything wrong with prettiness and sparkles and fairy tales- -I mean, I love “The Slipper and the Rose,” which is definitely pretty and sparkly and occasionally silly (and, okay, sometimes snarky—gotta love a prince whose first line is, “Why do they always sound so many trumpets? I’m not Jehovah!”). But, when trying to figure out what I want to see on the big screen, I’m kind of going to go for the action and the movie that look like it will have a more serious plot.
That didn’t mean that I didn’t, you know, think, “Gee, I should see “Mirror, Mirror” when I get a chance, when it’s out on video, I can get it from the library, but, you know, whatever, silly camp film version, watch for pretty costumes whenever...”
Wow, guys, I was soooo wrong.....
( SPOILERS AHOYCollapse )
Partly due to a love of a well-executed fairytale and partly due to the amazing posters and the costumes, I was really excited about getting a chance to see “Snow White and the Huntsman” on the big screen. This is also part of my ongoing plan to actually, you know, see movies that I want to see in the theater in an actual theater, rather than just ending up trying to track them down on DVD at the library.
So, being in a kind of stressed-out mindspace this evening, where I was not getting any work done anyway, I dragged d_ragondaughter to the theater.
It was indeed visually fascinating—as in, the Evil Queen gets married and has this fantastic dress where there are these decorative shoulder/arm sections that look like cages made out of bird bone , much of the rest of her wardrobe is also amazing, and there were some very cool (or creepy!) visuals involving magic and/or hallucinations... but, on the whole (and with spoilers)....
( Yeah, probably should have just gone to see “Avengers” again...Collapse )
Dear Amazon Japan:
When you offered the "would you like to read this in English" option, I was kind of hoping you would tell me WHAT THIS IS, rather than just helpfully informing me that I cannot get it yet...
(and many thanks to lonegamer78 for yet moar awesome RK stuff...)
ETA: Courtesy also of lonegamer78: Covers One through Ten of the aforementioned shiny thing, which is, in fact, a Japanese re-release of the Rurouni Kenshin manga, with very pretty covers that fit together as a sort of single long scroll through the series. For which they apparently have put a bright red cross-scar straight through the "Ken" kanji in Kenshin's name, because of course they have. PS--Aoshi, way to look smug that they picked the haircut which is NOT STUPID for your cover; Hiko, there is a fine line between "cocky" and "psychotic" and you are tap-dancing riiiiight along the edge, there; Saito... yeah, looking annoyed-yet-cool with gloves and cigarette is pretty much the most representative look.
Also, does anybody else think that is a surprisingly un-Kaoru-like Kaoru in some ways? Adorable, but... not quite the Tanuki kendo instructor with a temper.
They.... made a set of "Hakuouki" little omiyage where they have transposed the Bakumatsu-era cast to present-day high school.
It is, naturally, both ridiculous and completely awesome.
Chizuru, of course, is the only girl in the school. Because of reasons.
Student Body President Kazama: This week, we need to get ready for the Spring Dance!
Everybody: EIIIAAA? Since when?
Kazama: Well, I just made it up.
Shiranui: But... we can't have a dance! I don't want to dance with boys!
Kazama: I have no intention of dancing with a boy.
Hijikata is the discipline-obsessed... hall monitor, or something, I think?
Hijikata: NO RUNNING IN THE HALLWAY!
Harada: Sorry; bit late!
Hijikata: Kondou-san PLEASE DO NOT PRACTICE KENDO OUT IN THE HALL!
Kondou: Oh... sorry... feeling a bit out of shape!
Hijikata: HARADA-SENSEI DO NOT STAND OUT IN THE HALLWAY PLACING BETS ON THE HORSE RACES!
Harada: *looks slightly sheepish*
Hijikata: *mutters and puts up list of prohibitions* WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE TEACHERS?
Saitou: *adds "No yelling in the hallway" to the list. Hijikata-san, the students have been complaining...
Also, every time Hijikata looks flummoxed, Okita turns up and snaps a picture with his cellphone. Because of course he does.
(So, to recount: they have taken a Bakumatsu-era show which focuses a lot on both the conflict and demons and romantic rivalry, and have put that-- except for possibly the demons-- into present-day high school. Because this show is apparently determined to take all of my narrative/fiction buttons and jump up and down on them. Or the universe is trying to tell me to get back to the high school demons already...)
Ah, Korean historical costume drama... so much crazy crammed into.... well, it's actually quite a lot of time. Time and hair ornaments.
Also the Hwarang ("Flowering Youth"). Who were an actual historical thing: a group of noble-born young men who were trained in fighting and ethics and poetry and the appreciation of nature and so on.
Comically stupid servant girl:* They are so pretty! And they were all in the shrine, painting their faces! I peeked!
The king's young pregnant wife: Wait, what? They were what?
CSSG: Face-painting! I'll show you!
TKYPW: Ohnoes! Don't you know anything about the Hwarang? They only paint their faces when they are GOING INTO BATTLE!!!!
Hwarang: This is some very fierce blush!! Rarrrr! This eye shadow? Absolutely vicious!!!
TKYPW: They want to be sure that they will still look pretty, even in death!
Me: Okay, I can see that; that's actually interesting, and the take on masculinity and fighting; very interesting... but I have one question. You put your hair up and get it out of the way... and then you go with the long dangly silver earrings? Because that just seems to be asking for trouble...
*No, really-- if this were "Iron Man," she'd be following Robert Downey Jr. around with a fire extinguisher; she's that kind of comic relief character. Works in her favor sometimes, though; when she has to sneak a Plot-Relevant Secret Baby out of the palace when it's in lockdown, she's freaking out so badly that she keeps trying to hand the baby off to the guard who catches her... which makes him assume she's trying to avoid scandal, so he sternly tells her, "You play, you pay!" and shoves her out the gate.
See, I never find these myself; I get the links from other people, and then, once I have recovered from the "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" (and, in this case, hysterical laughter at the very final line... um... slogan?), I post them.
Thanks to lonegamer78, now updated, with subtitles (WOOOT!... look I'm still in Japanese 102; we've barely learned that adjectives have conjugations...)
I think that my favorite quote so far from Tor.com's Bowie Week has got to be this one:
"When Gaiman reimagined Lucifer while writing Sandman, he was extremely adamant that the ruler of Hell resemble David Bowie as closely as possible. According to artist Kelley Jones, Gaiman insisted, “You must draw David Bowie. Find David Bowie, or I’ll send you David Bowie. Because if it isn’t David Bowie, you’re going to have to redo it until it is David Bowie.” The artists complied, and the resulting character ranks as the greatest depiction of His Infernal Majesty since Milton (and/or Peter Cooke in Bedazzled), at least for my money."
(there's also a bit later in that same column on an unfinished project between Neil Gaiman and Yoshitaka Amano called "Return of the Thin White Duke," which sounds extremely epic... and who can forget the infamous Sock Puppet Labyrinth, also with Neil Gaiman... really, the whole Gaiman/Bowie thing is the sort of thing that is just going to be amazing no matter what direction(s) it goes in, and it all makes me wonder what kind of crazy/amazing "Labyrinth"/"Mirrormask" fanfic* has been or could be created, and whether the universe as we know it would survive...)
*I'm not really sure if that Halloween storyline from "Roommates" counts or not, although there is no denying the awesome, especially in the reveal page. And yes, I realize that I'm putting a link to the early, early first hints of "Roommates"... but, really, the Halloween storyline is not the best place to start. Not to mention that you miss a lot of awesome by jumping in that late!