Um....
Wait. What?
I realize that this was supposed to be dark-and-angsty, and twisted obsession, and evil plots, and puppy-kicking, but.... I... just... No. It worked pretty well until I had to accept the idea that "Goblin King = Glittery Tight-pantsed Prince of Darkness," and then, it really, really, reeaaaalllly... didn't.
(in spite of a moment of possibly-intentional-PotC-inspired hilarity when Sarah complained that Jareth had promised her he was NOT in fact secretly Satan... "You cheated!" "...Satan!")