With, btw, some REALLY REALLY bad dialogue coupled with over-the-top acting, which Dad and I gleefully snarked. Seriously; there was a scene where the hero and... um... female character who had more dialogue than other female characters, even if it mostly consisted of freaking out and crying and panicking... right... ok... anyway, they were talking on the phone and clearly not in the same room, so there was about five minutes of "I'M ONLY THINKING OF THE CHILDREN!" "YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME!" "THE CHILDREN! I HAVE TO GET THEM TO SAFETY!" "NOTHING CAN SAVE US NOW! WE HAVE TO GO TO THE SECRET LOCATION I'VE JUST FIGURED OUT BECAUSE I'M THE MALE LEAD AND CAN THUS DO MATH"
Oh, and apparently the film had no lighting budget, because aside from the characters running around in the dark with flashlights (including in scenes where they were in a building and the logical course of action would be to, you know, hit a light switch, there were all sorts of scenes in the house in the dark, and in the yard in the dark, in the woods in the dark.... and once, for a change, in a dimly-lit museum.
Meanwhile, in the midst of all of this, there are
Dad: So... ok, any idea why there are all of these rocks all over the place?
Me: Um... I dunno, Dad. *resists, resists, resists saying, "Rocks fall, everyone dies!"*
(That was, btw, very, very difficult)
(Not least because I seriously suspect that SOMEBODY on that film knows that phrase and was totally using it, giggling gleefully the whole time)