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Goodbye love...

Dec. 7th, 2006 | 07:29 pm

LJ, you've been good to me, but its time to part, amicabally. You can come visit me at http://truth-bittertruth.blogspot.com anytime (although it is a psudonym)

I've been here OVER a year! Wow! So much has changed. I have changed so much! I hope I've been entertaining, even as of late when I've never updated.

Goodbye love...It's over.

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(no subject)

Oct. 20th, 2006 | 02:04 pm

'There are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day, others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls, and sometimes, all you need is one.'

So, I guess it's true. When you're down, lonely, have something on your mind, or even ill like me, the thought of that one person's face lightens your day up. Sometimes it's that one person who helps you through the day. Sometimes it's that one person who texts you before, and after, events they know you're doing. And sometimes, that one person is all you need.

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17 much?

Aug. 27th, 2006 | 12:57 pm

ummm....so i'm pretty much 17. which means i think i've had this journal for more than a year! wowza! anyway, yeah, happy birthday to me!! and i finally get to drive (stupid british laws). but yeah, 17 is way cooler than 16.

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just remember...

Aug. 19th, 2006 | 11:18 am

the good lord works in mysterious ways...

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(no subject)

Jul. 10th, 2006 | 09:09 am

There are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day, others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls, and sometimes, all you need is one.

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"Where you are now, you're free, just free."

Apr. 12th, 2006 | 06:46 pm

I finally built up the courage to say something. I emailed his Mom. She made me feel like what I had to say was just as important as anyone else. She said she'd keep the song I wrote about him forever and that she loved me. It made me feel better - I hope it did her too.

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"If you feel the spirit move you, give only what you can...sing your song good and strong."

Mar. 28th, 2006 | 11:46 pm
mood: confusedconfused
music: Brooklyn: The Musical - Heart Behind These Hands

I still don't know what to make of it all. It's been over 24 hours since I found out and it's no clearer now than it was then. It doesn't seem real. It feels like a dream...a nightmare. Why? I just can't believe it's happened. I don't even know what I'm feeling, or even how I'm feeling.

Numbness. Sadness that he's gone. Sympathy for his family and friends. Anger at myself for not expressing myself. Confusion to how I'm actually feeling/coping. Do I have the right to feel this way? I just don't know.

I do know that he was such a good, beautiful person who inspired, and changed, many. I owe him so much...and now it's too late to tell him. Or is it? Gweedo?

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i'm not happy

Mar. 14th, 2006 | 08:51 pm

i realised somethings yesterday so this morning i put pen to paper and let my mind flow:

i laugh, i smile, though,
i'm not happy here,
i work, i sigh, though,
i don't live in fear,


i need a place,
that doesn't make me feel this hate,
i need some grace,
because i really hate this place,

can't they see that i'm not happy,
can't they see that i'm not true,
can't they see the pain inside me,
the pain that i need you,
the world that turns around me,
is where i wanna be,
because this world that is turning,
is turning without me,

i remember, though,
it never does seem as real,
i shake it off though,
because bad i always feel.

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(no subject)

Mar. 11th, 2006 | 10:36 am

i just love, love, love it!!!

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(no subject)

Mar. 5th, 2006 | 08:12 pm

it's the most inspiring, emotional, hardest, greatest, experience in life...and it's so good to know that i can do it again, and i am doing it again.

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