my friend died this day a year ago & i still am in denial.
beyond that today was pretty good.
so i don't know why i want to write in this damn thing. but i do what i please, so here i go .. lately life's been pretty good. i've never been this alone, but it's made me a stronger person. not having my best friends call me or be at school lets me know i'm okay with myself now. i just recently stopped talking to one person, which is okay.i learn to not dwell on things that don't matter ;; and it's helped. i just started talking to pretty much one of the only person that listens and makes me feel like i'm cool. not like i have trouble with that. even though he has a girl, i'm not being my old self and being an asshole about it and becoming jealous. for once in my life i'm really sincere about being happy for him, if someone told me i'd feel that way five months ago, i'd probably faint. but literally i'm glad i'm getting at peace with myself. school's almost out, like 10 more days? this friday we have carowinds with the c/o '10. hah. that's so depressing. 4 more fucking years? i can't believe i'm not in high school yet. i love being young, but dang. i hope next year will be good. i have a feeling that some upperclassmen don't like me, for some reason. i hate it. i don't have too many bad feelings for anyone at west. i just hope it all goes good. well i'm out. <3 later
man, i want a friend.
one that doesn't get on my frickin nerves.
things are getting back on track.
like they are more chill.
except for the fact that my dad's car got stolen.
and that i want to go to a different school.
and i have a new interesting crush.
yeap, things are going back to normal.
its like the fucking oc.
i'm so tired. i could really go for some coffee.
i'm at victoria's house. me chelsea and ashley stayed her last night. idk what i'm doing tonight. i just don't wana go back home and sit on my ass all day. i hate that. especially when there is absolutely no food at my house.
my cold is getting worse. my nose is stopped up like crazy and my eyes are like puffy. i took an advil but it ain't working. and its like my sinuses hurt because they are so stuffed up. how gay? i mean on the only 4 day weekend i feel like shit.
man i love life.
my annoying brother is visiting the day i'm leaving.
and um i have great friends who make fun of my feminine side like crazy.
i can't help it i AM a girl.
i'm glad i'm going to lexington, i miss chelsea so much.
i just hope we don't do anything like dumb.
which will most likely happen.
have a great a thousand day weekend everyone.
dude, i've fallen apart from both of my best friends.
i hate life.
like seriously. they are like strangers.
i'm an asshole
&&i play with people's feelings.
wanna be my friend?
so i'm ready for me to die.
everything i do is wrong.
especially the things i do to make things easier or just right.
i am nastily sick.
that's what i am physically and mentally.
i really wish i had one of those girlfriends you call up and just blurb everything to.
i used to but now we're just complete strangers.
she was a good listener.
i did really good defensively in the game yesterday.
i just wish i wouldn't be so wussy and just shoot. idk.
speaking of shakespeare...
hmm i hate school.
i used to like it but some people get on my fucking nerves.
i'm the slowest person on carmel's girl's basketball team.
i wish my shooting skills could take up for it
come back soon.