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Welp. [Apr. 9th, 2013|05:44 pm]
...Hi. Seven years later.
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(no subject) [Mar. 26th, 2005|10:04 am]
constant "bitching and moaning" is the most annoying thing in the world.

maybe i should stop. life really isn't that bad. haha.
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(no subject) [Mar. 25th, 2005|04:16 pm]
and things just keep getting worse. wtf.

i really, really can't express how bad of a mood i'm in.
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(no subject) [Mar. 25th, 2005|12:20 pm]
where do i go from here?
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(no subject) [Mar. 24th, 2005|10:16 pm]
i'm laughing about it because i know it doesn't really matter. things never seem to go in my favor, except my job. but that's okay. something will eventually. for now i'll just accept all the let-downs that come my way, i suppose. i havn't any better ideas.

this is always how it goes, isn't it? momentary happiness. i guess i'll find the next thing.

what hurts the most, and i suppose i could change this if i wanted to, but what hurts the most is that i'm having to give up every feeling i had for one person's sake. and it makes me very, very, pissed off that i was asked to do this. i feel so disrespected.
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(no subject) [Mar. 22nd, 2005|02:48 am]
God is so perfect. everything works out.

this is the first night in a while i've gone to bed happy.
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(no subject) [Mar. 19th, 2005|09:46 pm]

things are great. she didn't move to cali, thank God. haha.

also, i found a new date for prom..cause angel said she didn't want to go with me anymire, i'm taking jada. woohoo!
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(no subject) [Mar. 17th, 2005|04:48 pm]
[I FEEL: |blahblah]
[TUNES: |disciple]

i'm worried about something. justin, the guy i normally play music with and skate with, is generally the kind of person that gets pissed off if things don't go exactly his way. he just asked me for his guitar back, the pos one that he doesn't really even need anymore(he's now got a les paul off brand and a fender strat) and i asked him why he need it it. he said "because, i do" and went away.

justin had wanted to be in a band for quite a while and i was going to be in it with him. i told him that if we're in a band together it has to be about God. his attitude was more or less "that's fine, as long as i get to be in a band". and this attitude is one that i don't want out of anyone that i'm in a band with. i want the reason the band members are int he band, to be because they wan to do it for God. justin wants to do it for self-glory, and for that reason, i will not be in a band with him. unfortunately i have not brought myself to tell him this yet.

there is a problem though, that i have not only his guitar, but i also have one of his amps loaned out to a friend, and i have a couple of his cords. i can get them all back to him by wednesday, at the minimum. but the thing is that..justin's spent probably 1000$ just on guitar stuff, because of this band he believes he and i are going to be in. and when he finds out there will be no band, he's going to be very very pissed off. he's probably going to hold a grudge against me, and this means that he will of course no longer go skating with me. i can live witht hat. but i'm afraid of him actually lashing out and doing something. nothing really big, not like he's going to beat me up or anything. but he might get people to roll my house or something.

i know what i have to do, but it's going to be very hard to do. at it probably means that my friendship with im is over. which, i can live with. i just don't want him to get violent.

another problem..which is okay by me..but..God told me not to be in a band with him. so there is the undeniable truth.

(no subject) [Mar. 16th, 2005|10:02 pm]
[I FEEL: |crushedbroken]

but the fact is, i'm still lonely and you don't know it yet, but that cut to the bone.
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(no subject) [Mar. 14th, 2005|08:48 pm]
here's a cool trick for those of you with standard box shaped monitors

turn your monitor on its side, either side, or upside down. everything turns crazy colors except the greys and blacks and white.

neat huh?
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