Tags: seth mcfarlane

not billy

Jennifer Garner

Watched Elektra last night. Typical Stan Lee story; pathetic.

To provide a small example of the quality you can expect from the writing in the film...

There were a group of five 'bad guys' Elektra had to defeat, each of course was radically different from one another and were introduced to us in Kill Bill Crazy 88 esque slow motion. Out of the five, three were of note. There was the tall black guy who had skin like stone, the spunky evil chick who spread disease with her touch, the cool looking white guy guy covered in tattoos that came alive; respectively named stone, typhoid, and tattoo. Yes, the guy with the tattoos, was called tattoo. Guess what the guy who used sticks was called? Still cant get it? His name was 'Stick'. A+. It was extremely predictable, to the point you could say the dialogue before the characters did, and 80% of the time you'd get it right, down to even the pronunciation. It was funny to pick on while we watched it. But if anyone else had been here we'd probably have been deservedly punched in our faces for our cynicism.

Elektra is a classic example of the inappropriate use of overt exposition to progress a story. Don't tell me that a character has OCD, show me. Don't tell me they're sad, show me. Don't tell me something is a habit, show me them doing it regularly. The writing was almost as sophmoric as the lyrics on Elephunk.

It took itself far too seriously, too. Few if any laughs, and a few too many emotional slow mo long shots.

Jennifer Garnre however, was tragically gorgeous. She pulls of a beautiful sad look that makes me want to touch her in the pants. She makes me go "aweeeeeeeee" inside. Bizarrely, Tim (the fag) remained unconvinced of her feminine charms offering comments along the lines of;

Exhibit A
me: she's just gorgeous.
fag: ...for a man.

Exhibit B.
me: stop picturing her naked, she's my wife.
fag: I thought gay marriage was illegal?

Exhibit C.
me: I want her to bear my children.
fag: you can't get pregnant in the ass.

I get the impression some people think she has a man face, clearly [ they're wrong ].

Criticism of the story aside, I've never seen such a contrast between visuals and storyline. The film has some pretty creative and attractive visuals. It's worth seeing just for the way it looks, even though what it says is entirely derivative and simplistic.

What's the deal with comic book authors not being able to write believable 'human' characters? That flipbook marvel intro to a movie spells little else but "awkward writing". Their films don't exactly present a compelling case for reading comics.

Mall Rats set my expectations of Stan Lee's talent quite high, expectations that he's completely failed to reach. Mind you, when I went back to watch Mall Rats recently, it occured to me how poorly written/acted/directed that was too (especially the material from the cutting room floor).

I'll still watch almost anything with Jennifer Garner in it though, Suddenly 30 included (YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, FENN).

But to put some positive in a mostly negative post, if you do want to see something absolutely fantastic, get your hands on the latest episode of [ American Dad ] by Seth McFarlane (Season 2, Episode 4). It's so funny you'll laugh until you [ prolapse ]. Seth is of course the creator of Family Guy. I'm not going to link to that, because if you don't know what it is there's something very wrong with you. He's such a talented animator and writer, damnit he's funny. Tim's comments about gay marriage were appropriate about Seth.