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Wednesday, December 26th, 2007

Time:8:44 pm.
So it's been a ridiculously long time since I've used livejournal and I don't think I'll be using it any longer, but it's kind of cool to have this as a sort of anchor to the past. It's weird looking back on past entries. I think that I was so filled with worries all the time and probably all of those worries are so irrelevant now, and it hasn't been THAT long. I'm not really writing for anybody or any occasion, I'll just describe my life situation because... that's what you do here. Right now I'm home for break, it's 8:47 pm, I just had a weird meal of chinese food with my family. It's so windy right now, I've never seen it this windy here, it's so loud. I think that it might be getting to us. I"m listening to a really good station on Pandora based off of Moldy Peaches. I saw the movie Driving Lessons today and I really liked it. I love the mood that Sufjan Stevens gets me in. I really should be practicing more; yesterday I practiced for a couple of hours and I really enjoyed it like I usually do. And I really should be taking good advantage of my new Korogi that I can't play when I'm at school. The problem with pursuing music right now (that obviously isn't a huge concrete problem because it will not stop me from pursuing it as seriously as I already am), is that there's so much out there. I remember Anna telling me that some school psychologist or something diagnosed with "..multi-interest syndrom??" or whatever, but basically she was saying that she has so many interests that it's hard for her to focus on one thing, I think it's just a form of ADD. But I probably have that too. I've boil down my passions to mainly music (which isn't necessarily a good or right thing to do) but even just in music there's so much to take in and learn and experience to become a great musician and person but to do that, you need so much energy and desire to really open yourself up to EVERYTHING while progressing in EVERYTHING. I guess it's not really something to complain about, but it's nice to openly admit to that big underlying thing that shows itself even when you try to hide from it (I think we all have it in some form). Eventually I'll deal with it, I don't think it's one of those things you change dramatically one day.
I would not like to be flying right now, like in a Cessna or something, gosh it would be soooo scary. I think that something I need to do is to find a source of energy to be able to do all the things I want to do. I just looked down at my fingers (I am now actually) and it's incredble how we train our fingers to type so fast and imagine how our brain decides the patterns in which we type and what fingers will type which letters). Brains are crazy. I would love to study neuroscience (or whatever) or education reform or film making or classics. I wish there was a school that would offere an intense amazing music program guaranteeing a carreer in music (wow that's way not cool of me to say that) but that would totally let you do WHATEVER else you wanted to do, just as a person.
Wow sensory overload. With the wind and my music and Ary's weird music downstairs and kitty that is meowing and won't come out fromunder th ebed and things hitting th ehouse. Im going to go downstairs now.
Comments: 137482 dove - drawn red.

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006

Time:10:58 pm.
Mood: grateful.

You know what?

I love my brother

Comments: 237482 doves - drawn red.

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006

Time:11:26 pm.
AIM IM with kamikazehamster1.
1/7/06, 10:01 PM
whats going on
uhghhhhhhi dont know
everyone's mad at eachother
and i havent practiced for the past three nights
and i have to record tomorrow
and i have this HUGE american gvnt final monday and i think i forgot the book at school
and on top of it i have normal homework
and..........................uirehgsudfhjhjhjkjh i just dont want to deal with any of it
that stinks mucho
sorry i couldnt talk tonight
its k
or actually i wouldnt have been able to talk now either
cuz we have a guest over and i need to stay in this room off my sis's room and she's sleeping
nice icon
10:05 PM
funny you said that right whne i chaged it
i meant the old one
but this is really cool too
i wish i couldgive you a hug and make you feel better
me too
i cant even really explain it
i just feel so....not good
well listen to the mix i got you
made you
yeah i've had the pink flyd song on repeat for like the past 72 hours
im reading ur quiz and listening to weezer
on your page
oh its so good
wish you were here is a song to fall asleep to, i did it for like a week after summer
10:10 PM
hey thats my quiz!
so tell me about peter alison

mmmm me being silly
i've told you before-it's somewhat of an inside joke with frinds at school
i dont think u told me bout it
but thats cool
how long till camp?
mmm 6months minus 2 weeks i guess
5 months 2 weeks about
10:15 PM
oh yes you're right
so clubbing was fin this time
it was a lot more cowded
10:20 PM
im leaving you a long comment
i really want you here now
i mean i know i say that every single day
10:25 PM
but like now i need you here yo know?
cause everyhting ewnt bad
its hard to comfort someone online!
i know
i dont expect you to cause you dont know exactly what i'm talking about
which is why i want you here so i can explain
oh so there's more to it?
there's always more to it, i cant really think what but ...
[ emo time ]
i kinda feel like my life is spent walking on thin ice. I'm happy when I'm above it but I fall through real easily and it's really really hard to come back up.and even when i am back up i'm always afraid to fall again
and over and over again
so emo
but i get it
just pick youself back up
i know its not easy
but theres no other choice
cause if you dont you'll sink
or get caught under the ice
so whenever you fall through, get back out asap
and let me know if you need help getting up

wierd good at it
haha yess
10:30 PM
ben folds is really good for being depressed
and happy too i guess
i agree
and i wont stop fucking coughing grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
water drinking are you?
i'll go get some
i feel likke ur mom
thats ok
my mom is sleeping so i need someone to do the job
i'm gonna close my eyes and listen to brown eyed woman to drain my brain and then talk again ok?
10:40 PM
thats nice
haha i read about indoors skiing in china

thats cool
whats that video on ur myspace?
did it show up?
was it ur brother goin phsycho>
oh thats ary dancing like w savage man
yup yup
so i c u like weezer more now
thats good because they are bomb
OH and i left u ur comment
10:45 PM
yay i'm a goonnnaa go re4ad it then
: )
so u gunnu do one back?

well duh
funny i actuall started too
wierdo stalker man
10:50 PM
im actually behind you right now
looking through ur window
on a laptop outside
i dont know why
that scared me
jeremy i'm scared

not as freaky as my chair last night though
ahh yes that sounds somewhat creepier
haha it mos def was
10:55 PM
listen to sunny road
but i'm liiiiisstttteennnnnning to eeeeeric ccccccccclaptooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if i must
i think ul really like this
11:00 PM
yes i like it a lot a lot
it reminds me of a song i put on the cd i made you
im goin to bed in like 5 minutes
i nees to wake up in about 6 hours
oo geez
wait look at your comments in 15 seconds
11:05 PM
yay done
one sec
[ and no matter WHAT you do...
lemme read it and ill tell you what i think then
don't let the scary bugs bite ]

yay i love it
indoor skiing in bejing
thats a good plan b
well actually its pretty terrible
but i'm feelin it right now
i love how you say with much affection
iits so unboring

you know wha t i love about you?
you actually care
unlike most people i know
well im glad
11:10 PM
and im glad that you care that i care
well i think you should listen to what the singer of led zeppelin says
and think about maybe going to california
robert plant
how wonderful it is to have my own personal rock music history library
Going To California with an aching in my heart.
Someone told me there's a girl out there
With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.
all in the brain of jeremy
guess who that is
guess who who is?
Someone told me there's a girl out there
With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.
well.... its led zeppelin
but are you asking me who the girl is??
oh gosh clara
i meant you
11:15 PM
but i know robert plant didnt write it about you
ya know what i meant
are you kidding?robert plant and i had a baby named frank the evil bunny who later became an actor. have you heard of him? he appeared on that movie donnie darko?
yup! robert and i are close
yes i see the resemblace between you and a huge injused freaky bunny skeleton
ok well i must sleep
im going
to sleep
oy vey
comon now
i cant leave without saying goodbye to you
but im very tired
so pleaase come back
just tricking!
well i will talk to you tommorow
goodnight my juliette
and thank you for making my this=
turn into a this=
11:20 PM
and thank you for turining my insides from this

to this-
hahaha sure thing jeremy!
goodnight my love and sleep tightly
i shall you too
dot let the man out side your window scare you
i love you too

ahhhhhhhhhhhh i;'m goona kill you
i am soo having revenge
goooooood night my baby i hate so fucking much
tee hee
goodnight my love who i love like a
dill pickle!
oh wow i feel special.
hey i looove dill pickles
so feel loved----
well alright then
got to sleep little boy
i meant---
or you'll become sick like me
GO TO BED LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cuz thats more extreme than extreme
uch its so hard to leave this
most wonderful convo
or the man in the chair will eat you!
im not in my room
nice try
oh fuck.

ok- you have to sleep
its late enough for me

goodnight now
kamikazehamster1 has gone offline.

just cause i'm me and me feels like doing so, im posting the whole convo jeremy and i had millions o years ago. but the names arent there. figure it out :)
Comments: 137482 dove - drawn red.

Sunday, January 22nd, 2006

Time:10:52 pm.


Come visit me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments: 237482 doves - drawn red.

Saturday, January 7th, 2006

Time:11:32 pm.
clara-well i think you should listen to what the singer of led zeppelin says
and think about maybe going to california

jeremy-robert plant

clara-yes how wonderful it is to have my own personal rock music history library

jeremy-Going To California with an aching in my heart.
Someone told me there's a girl out there
With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.


jeremy-guess who that is

clara-guess who who is?

jeremy-Someone told me there's a girl out there
With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.

clara-well.... its led zeppelin
clara-but are you asking me who the girl is??

jeremy-oh gosh clara
jeremy-i meant you,
but i know robert plant didnt write it about you
ya know what i meant

clara-are you kidding?robert plant and i had a baby named frank the evil bunny who later became an actor. have you heard of him? he appeared on that movie donnie darko?


clara-yup! robert and i are close

jeremy-yes i see the resemblace between you and a huge injured freaky bunny skeleton

even though absolutely NO ONE uses livejournal anymor [it feels like a desert] I still want to post this. Cause I like my Jeremy sooooo much and we have amazing conversations.
Comments: 237482 doves - drawn red.

Friday, November 25th, 2005

Subject:So it's Firday thee twenty fifth no?
Time:5:45 pm.
• I'm officially not too depressed but I'M SO FUCKING uhhhh how you say.....boyfriendless??? Yeah and uh I'm kind of in desperate need of one so if you happen to know any sex gods who are interested in short-haired blonde musicians/artists then just give me a call, alrighty??

•I'm excited for Christmas just because I have a feeling Christmas will be really good this year. I don't know why...

•I NEED TO FUCKING PRACTICE MY ASS OFF IF I WANT TO GET INTO CAMP THIS SUMMER!!! So you guys better force me to practice cause i'm so fucking lazy. I just dont know what to do. And fuck the piece I'm working on is soooooooo hard I think I might just die. Oh the things I'd do to just be at camp right now. Jesus Almighty....

•Oh I love friends. I just realized that yesterday I saw Eva, Nicole, Buck and Anna. And I happen to like all of those people so it hapened to make me happy. And today coffee was ALOT OF FUN. with ary. We listened to that song that goes : I was smokin' with a ghost, I said oooooo! (fucking hollywood and highland....so many goddamnm tourists)

•mmm nothing more to say. oh yeah anyone going to big new years eve parties??? I want to go to one this year. I decided to be cool and get wasted and hook up with some random guy this new years mkay??

Comments: drawn red.

Friday, November 11th, 2005

Time:11:47 am.
Comments: drawn red.

Monday, October 10th, 2005

Time:12:20 am.
Mood: disappointed.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

♥This is for everyone who I haven't seen in a really long time.♥

ps: I WANT THE FUCKING MISTER MYSTERIOUS CELLO MAN! I WANT HIS FUCKING BABIES! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!---okay, enough said.
Comments: 637482 doves - drawn red.

Thursday, September 15th, 2005

Time:10:55 pm.

Long Survey About Yourself

Created by bleedwithoutreason and taken 70385 times on Bzoink

What time are you starting this?5:53 pm
Nicknames?none (feel free to make me one)
Date of birth?May 5th 1931 (my dream birthday).
Sex?yes please! haha no female.
Eye color?green as a queen's peen
Where were you born?LA
Number of candles on your last birthday cake?1 (though i'm not 1)
Pets?two lesbian cats Maya and Tara
Hair color?blonde
Piercings?ears (i got them perced for the first time less than a year ago)
Town you live in?I would love to say Montreal.... but it is Lala land.
Favorite foods?soupe a l'oignon, snow cones, SOUPS!!!, bread! i loooove bread! and cherry pepsi.
Ever been to Africa?_____________________dont make me jealous (i reallllyyyy want to!)
Been toilet papering?nope.
Love someone so much it made you cry?hahahaha yes unfortunately. but that is the past.
Been in a car accident?in minor ones.
Croutons or bacon bits?croutons
Favorite day of the week?in the schoolyear wednesdays and fridays, during summer it doesnt matter...
Favorite resturant?Lala's , Dar Magrheb, In and Out and Panda Express
Favorite flower?Gardenias
Favorite sport to watch?none.
Favorite drink?WILD CHERRY PEPSI!
Favorite ice cream flavor?coffee and also cookie dough
Warner Bros. or Disney?Disney.
Favorite fast food restuarant?I already said it silly.
Carpet color in your bedroom?grey...blah....
How many times did you fail your driver's test?none ;)
Whom did you get your last email from?olivia messer
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?urban outfitters, barnes and nobles or an art store
What do you do most often when you are bored?i paint, go online or i call up a friend
Most annoying thing to say to me?anything stupid.
Favorite TV show?I DONT OWN A TV!!!! so yay for me.
Last person you went out to dinner with?:family.
Been out of country?of course
Believe in magick?magic?? yes but magick?? i dont think so....
Ford or Chevy?ford
What are you listening to right now?bob marley
Have you ever failed a grade?nooooooo that would suck...
If you have, what grade did you fail?---
Do you have a crush on someone?At the moment? Yes my lover in France who loves me.
Do you have a bf/gf?No.
If so, what is their name?---
How long have you been together?---
What are you wearing right now?A cutesy skirt an awesome shirt black cutoff tights and fuzzy slippers.
Would you have sex before marriage?Definetly
Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?hahahah no.
Are you a virgin?yes :) how innocent-sounding.
Do you smoke?casually
Do you drink?mmmm.yess :) shhh dont tell. (especially w/ eva love)
Are you ghetto?hahahahah no comment.
Are you a player?....................................nigga please.....
What are your favorite colors?even though its not a color, i looovee white. so much.
What is your favorite animal?little cute monkeys.
Do you have any birthmarks?not really...
Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?nope.
Who do you talk to most on the phone?lucca recently.
Have you ever been slapped?at least 20 times a day by my brother.
Do you get online a lot?yes.....i wish i didnt though it wastes my time.
Are you shy or outgoing?depends who im with. but mostly outgoing.
Do you shower?yes! (good friends....please shut your mouths)
Do you hate school?half of the time yes.
Do you have a social life?a unique one, but yes.
How easily do you trust people?i'm actually really bad at trusting people.
Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?yes i actually do have quite a few.
Would you ever sky dive?i would absolutely love to.
Do you like to dance?yes! i like crazy dancing to the mars volta and head automatica.
Have you ever been out of state?yes i was in 4 states in 1 day once, it was pretty freakin awesome.
Do you like to travel?i love to. its one of my favorite things.
Have you ever been expelled from school?nope.
Have you ever been suspended from school?nope.
Do you want to get out of your hometown?yes all the time....
Are you spoiled?hahahaha i guess sooo.
Are you a brat?but i'm actually not.
Have you ever been dumped?NEVER!!!!!!!!
Have you ever gotten high?no! but i'm up for it.
Do you like snapple?sure.
Do you drink a lot of water?i try...
What toothpaste do you use?close up!!!!!
Do you have a cell phone?of course darling.
Do you have a curfew?midnight cause that when ary cant drive legally.
Who do you look up to?my brother my brother my brother my brother :)
Are you a role model?i guess to some people...
Have you ever been to Six Flags or Cedar Point?I lovee sik flags. i went there w/ eva noah buck quentin ben and ary. i love those ppl.
What name brand do you wear the most?lots of things...
What kind of jewelry do you wear?i double knott things around my right hand and where a peace sign necklace.
What do you want pierced?no more.
Do you like takin pictures?i love it actually. but i like painting more.
Do you like gettin your picture taken?less.....
Do you have a tan?its fading away!!!!
Do you get annoyed easily?ohhh yes. veeery easily.
Have you ever started a rumor?a few for fun...
Do you have your own phone or phone line?no.
Do you have your own pool?no.
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?.....briefs???
Do you have any siblings?my brother ary 17
Have you ever been played?mmmm kinda by noah, but hey thats his job :)love you noah.
Have you ever played anyone?unfortunately a little too much....
Do you get along with your parents?yes very well... well my mom can get on my nerves sometimes.
How do you vent your anger?by sqeeling like a girl and getting into political complaints about the world.
Have you ever ran away?nooooo.
Have you ever been fired from a job?nope.
Do you even have a job?hahahaha nope.
Do you daydream a lot? a little too much. and always about boys.......
Do you have a lot of ex's?no i have 3.
Do you run your mouth???? i'm not familiar with that saying...
What do you want a tattoo of?i'd have to see... i dont really feel like thinking about it.
What do you have a tattoo of?---
What does your ex bf/gf look like?blonde hair, blue eyes, interesing-looking...
What does your most recent crush look like?tall,17 years old, french, brown hair.... (btw for those who know him, i didnt like him when he was here, ... its just a long story...)
Whats her/his name?Quentin
Have you ever been bitched out?nope.
Are you rude?no i hate rudeness.
What was the last compliment you recieved?that i'm going to change the world (im not even fucking kidding)
Do you like getting dirty?hahahahahahahahaha depends in what.
Are you flexiable?noo. (like physically??)
What is your heritage?quebecoise, dutch, english, french, native indian somewhere
What is your lucky number?5
What does your hair look like right now?it's down, crazy, messy but pretty as chloe says.
Could you ever be a vegetarian?i don't think so.
Describe your looks?too lazy sorry
If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color?bright red or pink and i'd cut it boy short.
Would you ever date someone younger than you?only a year. at my age younger then that is strange.
Would you ever date someone older than you?of course. its all i do.
When was the last time you were drunk?11 days ago
How many rings until you answer the phone?i dont really answer the phone much. its just not my thing....
Have you ever been skinny dipping?hahaha yes, i love it.
If yes, when was the last time?in summer in beach :)
When was the last time you went on a date?i don't do dates :) i'm cooler than that.
Do you look more like your mother or father?my father.
Do you cry a lot?not recently at all. but last year.
Do you ever cry to get your way?hah only two memorable times.
What phrase do you use most when on the phone?i usually sing in an unknown language on the phone. most of you might know that.
Are you the romantic type?yeeesssss.......cause it's fun.
Have you ever been chased by cops?not recently :)
What do you like most about your body?my back,neck, eyes and hair
What do you like least about your body?my stomach (i'm not fat i just dont like it)
When did you have your first crush?in preschool w/ axel and than in 3rd grade w/ peter
When was the last time you threw up?when i was 7. i swear.
In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?brunettes.
Do you ever wear shirts do show your belly?yes but more in the summer....
What about cleavage?hahahahahaha lucca???
Is your best friend a virgin?well my bro isnt but eva is... halfly....
Have you ever fucked someone up?nahh...
Have you ever been fucked up?no....
What theme does your room have?mmmm undescribable really. artsy i guess....
What size show do you wear?6 1/2
What is your screen name on AIM?---
How are you feeling right now?guilty that i'm not practicing snare drum
When was the last time you were at a party?i dont remember...
Have you ever given a lapdance?yes actually
Have you ever recieved one?nooope.
Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?nope.
What is one of your bad qualilties?i rant a lot and i can be very negative.
What is one of your good qualilties?i live life . being happy as much as i can. avoiding numbness.
Would you marry for money?depends how much and whether or not i could divorce.
What do you drive?(i dont drive) my brother's car aka a jeep but at the moment its broken so we're driving a black mustang.
Are you more of a mommys or daddys child?daddys child. allll the way.
When was the last time you cried in school?in 3rd grade when i cried to the class saying i was sorry for being a bitch to this one guy who had a crush on me. dramatic....
Would you ever hook up with the same sex?to entertain silly little boys but not for the fun of it.
What kind of music do you like?sooooo many. progressive,jazz,foreign,techno,urban,rock...
Would you ever bungee jump?i have already :) (well kinda.....you know that crazy six flags thingy)
What is your worst fear?dieing young-being raped or murdered-small stuffy crowded places
Would you ever join the army?nope.
Do you like cows?smoetimes..... but not really. i dont like many farm animals.
If you were to die today, what would you do?i would say bye to everyone take my favorite book and a burned cd and go to my favorite place and chill until i die. oh and write a really awesome death letter.
If you had one last word to say to someone before you die, what would it b?the word: everything
Do you like to party?yes yes.
Hearts or broken hearts?hearts
Moons or stars?moons allll the way.though i love starts as well.
Coke or pepsi?pepsi. but coke when i'm in tahiti cause i have to.
Favorite scent?incense.
Favorite band?The mars volta
Would you ever dye your hair red?hahahaha i already mentioned that now didnt i ?
How many languages can you speak?i speak 2 fluently and am in the process of learning 2.
What time are you finishing this?10:54 a day later (i got lazy between)

Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to Bzoink

I havent done one of these in a while......
Comments: 437482 doves - drawn red.

Wednesday, September 7th, 2005

Time:2:11 pm.
YIPEE PHOTOS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Comments: 537482 doves - drawn red.

Thursday, September 1st, 2005

Time:8:17 pm.

-∆- It's Ary's birthday tomorrow so Noah is staying over and than tomorrow we're going to Raging Waters.......yipee!!! And I got him a super cool present and I am very very excited about it.

-∆- Today I auditioned to play with Macy Gray.She's opening some school for people ages 6-17 or sumsing and for the big opening concert she's getting a good band of kids of those ages who are really good who will play with her, and the black eyed peas will be there and it would be awesome. So I auditioned for it today...and apparently I did a really good job (I guess we'll have to see about that now won't we?). But another thing is that they made me and a guy who played guitar audition at the same time, so we did all sorts of things and played together and it was super cool. He's 17 and super nice and his name is Jesse. So we talked for a little after but then I had to go and stuff and I was in my car and I was like "fuck, why didnt I give him my number???" cause he was totally interested and complimenting me like crazy. So now I'm somewhat pissed cause I'm never gonna see him again.... poo.

-∆- I am currently making packages for camp friends and I am very excited for that as well cause...yknow, it's fun.

-∆- Calling all Luccas Chloes Evas.....................what do you trinklings say to a movie at city walk monday????? I think it would be jolly good no??? Oh and anyone is invited to this: On september tenth i'm playin a classical concert thing but its outside in griffith park and really fun to go to so if any of you are interested and if your chill with my family you should definetly come:)

Comments: 337482 doves - drawn red.

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005

Subject:Ay Karamba!
Time:4:16 pm.
Mood: pensive.
Soooooo I'm back again from Québec! Yay!

I don't quite feel like writing much except for the fact that summer is my favorite thing in the whole wide world.
But I want to post some photos from camp. Feel free to comment.


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Comments: 1137482 doves - drawn red.

Saturday, July 23rd, 2005

Subject:where do i start?
Time:10:18 pm.
Mood: melancholy.
Wow, it's crazy being back. Basically, more has happened to me in the past month at this arts camp then has happened to me in two years:

1_ i met the most amazing people ever. people who were talented, ambitious yet crazy and totally chill to be with. they're not fucking idiotd. they're amazing smart people who you can actually talk to... i developed friendships that are gonna last for fucking ever. jane and olivia, I LOVE YOU! i'll never forget every single night and day i spent with these people just talking, and listening to music and tanning at the beach and eating ice cream mmmm and hanging out with our creewww. and the guys are soo mature. they were our age and not idiots. they were so fucking chill. we'd have our morning coffee at 8:15 and just hang out at the deck on the lake. it was soooo much fun. boy were we pimpin' with those seyx beasts....ppl were jealous.. what can i say?

2_ being there made me inspired, motivated. you guys have no fucking clue how it feels to be there, amidst such talent, people all over the world comin to the same place for the same reason cause we all have a passion for music or art or dance or writing or theatre or whatever you come for. it's crizazy. the place is so beautiful, i didnt want to leave. i prefer that forest to this beach.also the teachers i met were amazing. they were so nice and made me imrove so much.

3_ i made one big amazing discovery while i was there: that that's what i want to do when i grow up. and as soon as i made my decision i knew there was no going back. i have such a strong love for music and at this point it's just impossible to turn back especially after going there. this led on to another revelation: this place also has a year-long boarding school arts academy. it's 450 students that have to be really talented to get in. and i want to go. i have to. my dad did it and now i want to. yes, it would be hard, it's far away and it snows and i am not the boarding school type but i'm gonna do it. i think i'm gonna audition for tenth grade. i'm so excited though cause when i think about it, i feel more at home there then here. los angeles sucks compared to how hapy i feel when i'm there. every night i fell asleep, so excited for what the next day would bring me. i've never ever felt that way here.

4_ well............i guess you could say i sorta fell in love. i'm really afraid to use the word cause people fuck around with it soo much that i don't evern know what the word itself is worth anymore, but i met someone unlike anyone i've met before. his name is jeremy, he's my age, he's a drummer, we have all the same interests and opoinions, he cares for me, he hug me when i'm sad, he holds my hand during concerts, he actually listens to me, he makes me laugh soo hard, he makes me listen to amazing songs thru his ipod i've never heard and guess what's the only bad thing about him. HE LIVES IN FUCKING PITTSBURGH! how the fuck are you supossed to love omeone who lives hundreds of miles away from you. i miss him so much. we talk on the hone everyday but i just miss being with him. he's the nicest person in the world. nobody has never ever been that way to me. he treats me like fucking person and it's crazy he feels like a best friend. i'll never forget him and all the amazing times we had together......

going to camp sucks so much cause you have the time of your life, the place becomes your home, you make best friends, fall in love and before you know it a month has gone by and you wake up one morning and realize it's the last day you'll ever be with these people.

i miss it soooooooooooooooo much.

♥ clara ♥

sooooo fucking much....
Comments: 637482 doves - drawn red.

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005

Subject:excited out of my fucking mind...
Time:4:58 pm.
Mood: crazy.

Wow no one really uses livejournal anymore, it kinda makes me a little triste.
Everything seems so different in a beautiful way. About three weeks ago I was so pissed cause I thought that being 13 was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. But now I realized how much has happened this year. I started painting. I started driving with ary (that gave me so much more freedom). I became like best friends with ary. Eva introduced me to the beauty of alcohol and ciggys.:) I went to Tahiti. I don't know I think it was great even if it involved a lot of screams and tears..... but hey isn't that what being a teenager is all about?

Before I go on I just want to say thank you all. I don't know why but a lot of you are really chill. And I don't know it's summer, I guess I just get all magically joyful and nice in the summer so: -dominique, really wierd that we hardly talked this year but we should still hang out, I mean we're still basically the same people. I donno but you meant so much to me since we were baby girls and there's no reason for us not to be together- chloe, wow you've changed so fucking much!!! but don't worry it's in a good way. you're all badass right now and i respect you for it. i hope you have the best summer ever and i'll be seeing you for a lloooonnnggg time until graduation:)- coco, wierd huh that last year i hated you with all my guts when you're the sweetest girl, i'm gonna miss you so much but we'll still stay in touch . i dont know how but i know we will anyway how could we not seeing that we're to-be-step-sisters .... love ya- eva love, sorry for what a bitch i am. you know it. i donno i just can't agree with shit i'm a free soul... but thats no reason not to fly with you baby. and plus why the fuck would i not hang out with you seeming that you're gonna be hooking up with hot new roads guys next year huh? love you <3- lucca just stay a shroomy man and everything will be fine:) see you next year i'll call you in france- juliette? are you there? if you are you know how much i love you and look up to you i dont think i even have to say it .....big sloppy kisses on your cheek- nicole shall we cookie some time? i have to tell you everything i miss you so much...-vanessa! see you next year, i have a feeling it will be good us halves will all regroup and become friends and sing kumbaya, it will be perfec t :) - angela sorry i couldnt come to your bday..... i love you though we should defintly talk and hang out- noah, my love, we're close like this ll ... ya nigga i love you even if i'm almost as tall as you and i've hooked up with you, you're still like a big brother to me- sammmm, same goes to you big boy. and i dont think there's anything cooler in the world than going to africa to give shoes to kids. i'm proud of you . big hugs-
I love all of you and any of you i haven;t mentioned...

I'm leaving to camp tomorrow at midnight. It's both scary and exciting. It's crazy I can;t control my thoughts. I'm gonna miss all of you so much. I want to write to as many of you as possible so if you didnt give me your address on the last day of school than if you want you can give me your address or text message it to me.Oh yeah and if you do that you have to do it before like 8 pm tomorrow ok? Soooo excited.


Oh ya ps: you guys all remember the super cool neopets sight right? Well I'm starting the new trend in getting it back into style. haha, so click on this link and sign up. It's free, fun and the silliest cutest thing in the world. Oh ya and I get 100 neopoints if you sign up :)


pps: When I come back from camp it would be the coolest thing if you guys all left like a thousand comments. There's nothing I like more than coming back and having a lot of nice comments:) ♠

Comments: 537482 doves - drawn red.

Thursday, June 2nd, 2005

Time:5:57 pm.
Stealing from Ms.FletcherCollapse )
Comments: 437482 doves - drawn red.

Saturday, May 21st, 2005

Time:11:08 pm.
Mood: grateful.
Yesterday was the beloved Eva's birthday. It was super fun. There's nothing I like better in the world than pretending to be people in videogames and shooting eachother with drumsticks and toy mouses. Oh and braking into old ladies backyards (haha Eva billy was so brave, so was ary). And i love chocolat.And you should kissy wissy billy and i loooove you.

Today I almost cried but i couldnt cause i was in public n shit. I have to play a concert tomorrow where i'm playing a piece thats supoosedly the hardest timpani piece and is made for two timpanists but I have to do it alone. So my dad wrote me a combined part but now i have to play with 6 drums! so its super hard. and i wanted to cry at rehearsel today because:a)i couldnt play jack shit.b)the concert is tomorrow and i was so unprepared. c)i felt so stupid about myself cause i have all these dreams about me being a supercool percussionist and i coulnt do that. so the first 90 mins sucked like a fucker.but then i played a little better for the second 90 mins. and at the end of rehearsle i stayed with my dad and ed the conductor and just practiced it for an hour and finally got it. so now im happy cause it atually sounds really good.

And when i came home ary was super sweet to me cause i was kinda shaky after that. so since my parents were eating dinner w/ the neighbors we went to city walk. so we saw the mvie Crash. It was one of the best fucking films i've ever seen. it's main theme is racism but the way it's put into a movie is completely original. i recommend you to see it if you consider yourself a smart and/or intellectual person cause if you're not you dont deserve it. Then we just ran around city walk and got coffee and tried our best not to be racist to all the blacks and mexicans at city walk. we had a philosophical talk at a store called zen zone. then ary had a last smoke and we laughed at people having their prom at city walk and then drove home makng a cars alarm go off in the parking lot cause the bass was very loud.

So tomorrow i have my concert. woot. im extremely scared but kinda excited to. oh and i finally discovered a good quality in myself. i think more about the world around me than myself. i talk about myself cause i am me and i cant make me go away obviously it's just there right in front of myself. but i find myself thinking about all these other people and things and places. it makes me happier cause compared to every good and bad thing thats going on in our world im as worthless as a penny. but hey a hundred bizzilion pennies does make a difference which is why every human makes a difference.

I like silence. it is a nice thing when used at the right time. sometimes its good not to talk. ary once spent a whole day without speaking.

I'm so excited for interlochen. more than you can ever imagine. new people, new things, amazing artists and musicians who think the way i do. It's amazing. And who knows. Perhaps camp romance awaits? hahaha. I'm not surprised if you didnt read this but if you id: good for you! as dr hssaine would say.

Good Night .

ps: The only people i believe in are children because they're the only ones who truly believe.
Comments: 537482 doves - drawn red.

Saturday, May 14th, 2005

Time:6:20 pm.
Ok sorry I know I just updated but I have to post this. This is a conversation Eva and I had that I recorded the first time we got drunk together it's fucking hilarious.Oh and Y stands for Eva and M stands for me.

Y:clara harrassed me and then i was like hello! And then I went on the star and then I went on the moon and then I went on a toby.
M:but what about toby?
Y:no but the roof was on toby.and so, cause it's like balancing on his hair.hehee and his hair, on the ends of his hair there's like raspberries.and the raspberries like explose.oh i love him because he goes mwahahaha. ya so whatever and the raspberries go POOF POOF POOF.
Ok because I want him so much cause it's on my like stomach and my stomach's like ooooooooo.
M: eeeeeeeee!
Y:And so the raspberrie is on the ends of his hair so I suck the raspberries.and the little seeds come out and then they go into his penis!!!
M: (make a wierd frog noise) But that's not nice!
Y:(singing)PENIS!!!!Oh I'm SORRY!
M:No toby's gonna think that the only think you want from him is sex...
Y:But the penis, I mean the seeds go into clara's nose.hahahahaha.
Y: Ok so this is why I love poo....:Because poo is gooey!
Y:It's gooey and then I put it on my head and then all over my body and clara's like,"can I lick it off eva?" and then I'm like,"no! only if it's vanilla ice cream"actually not ice cream i said ice.But then I'm like HOT HOT HOT! And then my little butt is like HOT HOT HOT!
M:Then just take it off!!!!!!!
Y:So out of the ears come the little trees and out of the trees are the ends of the ends of the trees.Just like the little princess in the wizard of oz!! ushh i mean not like the wizard of oz, it's doctor seus.no like the oompa loompas are already in doctor seus....the doctor seusis the!
Y:no no n no no! ! no no no because. no no no clara.ooo CHOCOLADE!!
Y:Ughh just shut up clara! Blode Kinde! ...Oh my god I love you so much clara!!And then the
little po is like hello eva......Poo!
Comments: drawn red.

Time:5:40 pm.
Mood: sore.


This week has been somewhat chaotic. Why does life just seem to suck right about now? I Want It To Be Summer!!!! I cannot wait to get to Interlochen. I'm so excited, it's way better than here and now. On the bright side, Eva will be here in an hour or so. I've been really in the mood for an audiobook recently. And I want to pant right now but Eva will be here and my mom's cooking and I know I can't. I had a concert at 8am this morning and then a rehearsel at 1pm and tomorrow i have to be in pasadena at 10:45am for a concert at 2pm. Gross. And the last thing I want to do is study for an svt test that I have no fucking clue what we're learning. Well those are clara's super positive words for the day, so I'm gonna post a few photoshop photos for Eva cause she wanted to see them. And I'm also gonna do one of those "would you die for me?would you kiss me?" things. But please do it I'm curious.


the arts of computer cells for eva gabor-fourcadeCollapse )


Comments: drawn red.

Monday, April 25th, 2005

Time:2:13 pm.
Mood: rejuvenated.

This is a tanned clara speaking arriving from Papeete,Tahiti.Yesss.We had such a good time.I would go in to a complete detailed description of what I did there,but I can't.It was just simply amazing.Everything we did.We were litteraly isolated from everything around us.We went to this one island Aratika where Eva's mom's pearl farm is and it's just so beautiful.Hardly anyone lives there and it was jusst us in our bungalows on the crystal clear water.And it wasn't like fake florida shit,these are real cultural amazing paradises.And we went fishing for paruas but not like normal fishing of course,it's crazy underwater shit.And jet skiing is soo much fucking fun.WE jump waves and sing like this:beding ding ding ding zing bedee baa boudee dou.And oh ya I almost died on saturday.I got sick off my ass and seriously thought i was going to die.But the next morning i was fine.wierd...Haha and last night we had a good last dinner at les roulottes and had some great cidre brutte that made eva and i a perfect amount of tipsy to go on the 11 oclock plane alone together.It was great,just us girls slightly drunk laughing hilariously (no 9x6 is 54!!!) and then we went on the plane and heard babies talking about n'importe quoi and smuggling beer into the u.s. for my dad.It was super great.I feel so independant I cant wait till eva and i start tripping in europe we'll have such good times.And Eva and I had our bapteme de scuba diving.It's fucking incredible.Vanessa,you scuba dive dont you?It's crazy...And well it was just amazing and especialy going with Eva and her family cause then I didn't feel like a fucking stupid american tourist.

I had the time of my life........................
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Look!Look!Look!Look!Look!............Phoooootooooos.(lots of em.)Collapse )

ps:the only one bad thing i can think about tahiti is the fact that i have 23 mosquito bites.shucks.
Comments: 1037482 doves - drawn red.

Monday, April 18th, 2005

Time:2:38 pm.
I'm in Tahiti. woooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Saturday I went swimming and kayaking and jet skiing (jealous ary?) and scuba diving.scuba diving was amazing! there were crazy fishes all over the place! and when we went jet skiiing we stopped at some point and there were hundreds of crazy wild dolphins all around us. anyways it's beautiful and ya i got to drive the jet ski (70 m/ph) and we went driving yesterday in the mountains.eva and i were driving it was so cool.
so ary,read this and show it to mom and dad cause my email wont work in dora's office:
Hello!!!!!!!!!1 i'M HAVING A GREAT TIME.I'M IN DORA'S OFFICE RIGHT NOW. eva and i will go shopping in a few minutes around town. saturday night maman we went to la boule rouge and shared two crepes and eva dora and i shared two whole bottles of cider. c'est bien dora me rend soule!and then there was a tropical rain.anyways dad be proud cause i'm eating all sorts of disgusting tropical raw fishes.but they're actualy deliscious so it's ok. ary i'm going to bring you back a dolphin in the plane and maman i fell in love with "ronds boutons". thet're reallly really good red fruits that are kinda like lichis and they're hairy.so ya life is bautiful. je vous aime!
Comments: 637482 doves - drawn red.

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