Pubic Static Void Man

Ah, the Cutey Honey OP--one of anime's most enduring and shamelessly exploitative theme songs--in glorious warbly German! I like this cover of the Cutey Honey Flash version better than the original.

(Which one is Honey? Why, all of them, of course.)

There was apparently a live action movie in 2004, but sadly I hear it is is nowhere near as amazingly ridiculous as its trailer.

I remember this show only because a dude I knew on a messageboard ten years ago claimed he broke his dick masturbating to LaserDiscs of the second season. Clearly a man ahead of his time.

Back to packing for tomorrow...

Thing of the moment: Interpretations of popular music in American Sign Language. You don't have to be deaf to appreciate how beautiful and expressive this language can be.



Rufus Wainwright's cover of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah."



Jonathan Coulton's "Blue Sunny Day." (Yes, he's done Coulton's "Still Alive" too.)



Same guy doing Nickel Creek's "The Lighthouse's Tale."



Duet of Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat's "Lucky!" I love how their "voices" are so different.



Adele's "Right As Rain." A natural performer!

It has occurred to me that I listen to a lot of music in languages I don't understand...

Saw soullessthinker today! Hooray!

And now, for something completely different:

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In 1974, The Credibility Gap, a group of radio hosts turned comedians, put together a novelty single featuring a satirical take on the Osmonds (who themselves were a thinly veiled ripoff of the Jackson Five), and it was called "You Can't Judge A Book By Its Hair."

This is not that song. This is the German version of that song. It is called "Foreign Novelty Smash."

The best part? The Credibility Gap translated the song themselves--and they don't speak German.

If you've listened to French versions of the Rolling Stones, Japanese covers of the Beatles, and other foreign novelty records, this is guaranteed to make you rofl. Because, really, the joke is on you.

Verkaufen sie ein Hutgeschäft, verkaufen Sie den Zug!
Mein Büstenhalter ist zu warm und der Wasserfall ist Blut!

The German version ultimately never made the single (and the single itself was never produced), but it did find its way onto novelty record producers The Rhino Brothers' The Worlds Worst Records Vol. 2. Which, in itself, is a veritable goldmine of hilariously terrible '70s music. The folks behind the inimitable WFMU's Beware of the Blog, bless their souls, have mp3s. (I also highly recommend Gloria Balsam's "Fluffy," a horrific, wailing off-key ode to a lost dog. And, of course, Killer Pussy's "Teenage Enema Nurses in Bondage.") If I had a more consistent social life I would play this record at New York parties and amuse myself watching the hipsters try to enjoy it ironically.

Myself, I love it for what it is. I can't stop listening to it--even though I know the chorus translates to "My bra is too warm and the waterfall is blood!"

More info on "You Can't Judge A Book By Its Hair" and "Foreign Novelty Smash" here.

An inside joke, based on false rumors about my heritage, led hatmaster (who is visiting) and I to google the phrase "Dutch pornography." The results were...interesting.

• Our Dutch pornography and American hamburgers did not have enough pulling power to win over the hearts and minds of the Afghan people.
  
• You are likely to import Dutch pornography.
  
• Yet, the American interest in Dutch pornography has all the characteristics of a witch hunt, exaggerating the numbers of victims.
  
• The Dutch city of Leeuwarden has lost the municipal pornography archive and officials fear it may be gone forever.
  

Also, a whole bunch of self-deprecatory Dutch jokes that no one who reads this (including myself) will get: http://www.rfglobalnet.com/forums/Default.aspx?g=postmessage&t=13790&f=20&q=69092&VNETCOOKIE=NO

As of 2005, there is a Scots Wikipedia. This is odd, because Scots is one of those tongues that is so similar to its mother language, English in this case, that linguists cannot agree on whether it is its own language at all or merely a dialect. Ideally we'd want Wikipedias in all sorts of languages so people from all over the world could use them, but would a native Scots speaker really have that much trouble reading the English Wikipedia? I mean...I can't even fake Scots, but the Scots Wikipedia is perfectly comprehensible to me. Then again, we do have Wikipedias in Latin, Anglo-Saxon, Interlingua, and Klingon, so perhaps accessibility isn't the consensus objective here.

Forgive me if this viewpoint is a little Anglo-centric--I obviously have not a drop of English blood in me, though, like many of you, I spent much of childhood spent reading fantasy stories intended to resonate with the experiences of an early 20th century British upper-class child, with all the racist biases inherent therein--but there's something about the flavor of the language that makes the Scots Wikipedia incredibly endearing. It's hard to read the article on Harry Potter, dry and encyclopedic as its tone may be, without imagining the soothing, somnolescent babble of a gentle Scottish grandmother. Even the article on water, whose scientific tone I assume is trying to give a traditionally colloquial language some scholarly credibility, sounds remarkably pleasant. (Cloods! Shapit o solit an liquid watter pairticles suspendit in the lift! Ae molecule o watter haes twa hydrogen atoms covalently bondit tae the ae oxygen atom!)

And then there's the articles on Cheenae and the Fowkrepublic o Cheenae--for some reason, the language makes me feel more relaxed and at home than the subject matter. Just look at how the China article begins: "Cheenae is a muckle kintra in Asia. Syne the Cheenae Ceevil War, Cheenae haes been splitten intae the lsirger Communist Fowkrepublic o Cheenae (on the Cheenae mainlaund) an the smawer Republic o Cheenae on the island o Taiwan. Cheenae is ane o the maist auncient naitions in the warld, wi a heestory guan back five thoosand year..."

Wow. I am spellbound.

And none of these articles, in inadvertent down-home folksiness, comes even close to the article on Jesus Christ. The Scots Wikipedia, like the English Wikipedia, is bound by NPOV and strives to maintain an encyclopedic tone, but even so, there's something so friendly and colloquial about the account of Jesus's life--like hearing one of his best buddies narrate it to you down at the pub. Add some gentle bagpipe music, a couple fiddles, and a stirringly proud male voice, and aye, you can almost imagine Jesus delivering the Sermon on the Mount in a kilt.

God bless W.L. Lorimer and his beautiful Scots translation of the New Testament.

"It isna the haill an fere hes need o the doctor, but the síck an dwinin...I haena come tae invíte the weill-lívin, but outlans an ill-daers. (Matthew 9: 12-13)

You good! Out at I at do one kind experiment research. I let middle language one word one word -ly translate from hero language, see can not can read to understand. Love! Read -ing then head hurt. Head brain similar red green light flash come flash go.

A? Not wrong...have a dot similar truth real's hero language, only is language law all not correct. New come beautiful country's middle country people, will this form read hero language yes/no? Can pity him plural. Strange not had him plural learn hero language this magnitude fortune suffering.

For what reason this group word still read -ing this magnitude transparent clear? True mysterious anomaly, no general I choose what magnitude sentence, still is read -ing understand. Compare Google net stand translate hero work can still transparent clear. Could can I 's country speech not enough strength hurt. Could can is cause for I is flower bridge, self move -ing let middle language translate into hero language. No wisdom arrive.

Want do -ing special other go split only allow. "Vast Water Boat? Citizenry Forward Party with that generic-unit king eight egg one knife two cut!" Or: "One generic-unit accompany with flip eggplant three bright governance, two cup-unit ice bean sauce, also have two portion-unit grill cake oil long-unit. Bring walk."

Come, try try look bah! Full good play 's. Not want fear stupid! More read not understand more dim quiet.

_{all have 's female life look past come, look past coooooome, look past come}

A few observations on the translation of the Gloria Patri, or Lesser Doxology, which is one of the earliest Christian hymns, and an important part of denominational liturgies both Catholic and Protestant.
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"I want to start thinking of gay as a verb and not just a noun."
- Dave Landfair, mayor of West Sacramento, on coming out

Language Log, naturally, rips him a new one.

So to speak.

Seriously. (Thanks, Denise.)

This might be wickedly hilarious to the two or three people on this friendslist who can actually read it, but to the rest of us--myself included--it is merely an amusing curiosity. Needless to say, it is extremely concise.

May come in handy if you ever find an enchanted block of ice with a still-living Tang Dynasty scholar cryo-frozen inside.