1. The stereotypical male computer science major is a man no woman wants.
2. The stereotypical male creative writing major is a man every woman wants (if only because there are not enough of them).
3. I spend way too much time in the computer lab, and not enough time in pretentious asshole land.
4. No one ever invites me to pretentious asshole land.
Mike: Aren't you, like, the only guy in the creative writing department?
Kevin: No. All the unattainable hipster guys are the only guy in the creative writing department. I'm just that quiet Asian guy everyone ignores.
I think my sexual frustration is about to hit critical mass.