Shyness be damned, I really should go to this kind of thing more often. So what if I'm going to spend most of the show going deaf by the amps and not talking to anyone. I like the music, I like the atmosphere, and sooner than I think I'll be too old to enjoy it. I've never been big on the bong-smoking rainbow-sock-wearing party scene, but maybe I should be. I mean, I'm still going to be keenly aware of Consequences--pot, alcohol, and rainbow socks can cause a lifetime of regret--but there's something to be said about just being there. Even if all you do is drink one beer and try to lose yourself in the music with people who have had ten. Friends--as much as I love you all, I know you're mostly of the smug variety, the kind that likes to gather in small groups on the sidelines of such a spectacle and shake your heads and judge, with equal parts amusement and bewilderment. But there's something sublime about, and nothing wrong with, jumping into a crowd of screaming lunatics and letting yourself go, just for a little while. Embarrassing? Definitely. Mindless? Of course. Who the fuck cares, I'm having fun. I've got the whole rest of my life to judge other people for making fools of themselves. Right now, I've got to spend my dignity while I still have none to spend.
Last week I had zero things to look forward to after college. Now I have exactly two:
1. Visiting an old friend this summer.
2. Live music.
It's not much, but it's something. I know a girl who mentioned once, on LiveJournal, that the only thing that keeps her going is concerts. That's not a happy place to be, but I suppose it's better than endlessly worrying that your last and only important life choice is Abort, Retry, Fail.