Times like this I am slightly disappointed that Jesus's powers of faith healing disappeared after the first generation of disciples. Though I doubt they'd do me much good:
A leper came to him begging him, and kneeling he said to him, "If you choose, you can make me clean." Moved with pity, Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, and said to him, "I do choose. Be made clean!" Immediately the leprosy left him, and he was made clean.
Some people brought a blind man to him and begged him to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village; and when he had put saliva on his eyes and laid his hands on him, he asked him, "Can you see anything?" And the man looked up and said, "I can see people, but they look like trees, walking." Then Jesus laid his hands on his eyes again; and he looked intently and his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.
A small man from the eastern lands went up to him and said in a strange tongue, "Jesus, I have a cold." And Jesus looked at him strangely, and gestured in the general direction of the marketplace, and said, "Buy some Robitussin, my child."
(bastardized from Mark 1:41, 8:23)
Due to scheduling error, I'm going to be writing my article on Cat Power literally minutes before the Grape goes to press. Straight to offices after concert, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Deadline-tastic!