September 3rd, 2007


everyone goes to central park

Labor Day: the day when all of New York crowds into one third of Manhattan. Yay for Central Park!

I can't believe New Yorkers go to Central Park to enjoy nature. Central Park is about as natural as chicken nuggets. All the trees are carefully spaced apart to prevent the roots from strangling each other, and you can't walk two feet down the carefully manicured grass without stepping in a loud Upper West Side couple on a blanket. Even the ponds are unapologetically artificial; you can see gigantic blue tarps rise out over the shore even at high tide. Great place to people-watch, though. A dense thicket of people clad in every color imaginable, the occasional Frisbee sailing florescently into the sky--they're like very, very colorful penguins. I suppose it's not a park as much as it is a human reserve, where one can observe humans in their natural habitat.

Kind of reminds me like a very big, very hilly Wilder Bowl, actually, with the blankets and the music and the chattering little cliques.


  • Rollerskating dance party! Random people of all ages doing swing, salsa, breakdancing, ballet, and ballroom dancing on roller skates. There were even these insanely talented, scarily toned fifty-year-olds doing complicated ice skating maneuvers like quadruple twirls and flying backward leaps. Poseurs.
  • House-sized rocks, placed on hills for the express purpose of giving sullen introverts a place to brood. Problem is, there were so many introverts perched atop each one that I was a bit too shy to join them. The whole lot of them hunched over each precipice with their paperbacks and their iPods remind me more than a little of seagulls at the beach.
  • A small family is watching two old guys play chess. Far below, the carousel's music system starts playing one of those '80s one-hit wonders with incredibly detailed dance instructions. Two little girls, probably no older than ten, look at each other and smile. Spontaneously, and in perfect mirror-image sync, they do the song's DDR steps, complete with leaps and reverses. Their mother castigates them. They apologize, insincerely, and when their mother's back is turned they giggle to one another.
  • Shakespeare in the Park! Missed today's showing, alas. But the gardens around the theater are quite pretty.
  • Tiny model sailboats. Lots of them. <3

    Am drinking three parts Kern's Peach Nectar, one part chilled vodka. It is the nectar of the gods.
    • Current Music
      Jack Johnson - People Watching
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