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Dec. 28th, 2006 @ 11:25 pm vegans, look away
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Bacon cheeseburger Hamburger Helper is the most complicated dish I know how to make. This isn't a jab at my cooking skills--for something that comes in a box, Hamburger Helper is damn complicated. But there are few things more deliciously American on a cold winter day. Especially if you add your own personal touches, like diced tomato chunks, steamed onions, and a dash of dijon mustard. One batch can last me three meals, if I ration it right, and the saturated fat alone will fend off starvation for days.

Actually, I take that back. Hamburger Helper is a scam. It's like stone soup--the best stuff comes from outside the box, and you're the one who does all the work. All you get when you buy a box of Hamburger Helper is a couple cups of dry macaroni and a packet of dehydrated cheese sauce. If you made Hamburger Helper without the box and used the same recipe on dry pasta, melted cheese, and maybe some spices (basil? paprika?) instead, you'd have a similar--nay, superior--meal, and it would take just as long and leave you with just as many dirty utensils to clean up.

Also, while one would expect it to be emasculating, there's something downright studly about scrubbing a filthy bathtub half-naked.

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dd2guy