May 15th, 2006


revenge of cs280

So I turned in lab 4 two days late. Two days late means no grade.

No grade means I don't pass.

Not passing means no more CS major.

I had a high B before last Friday.

He's willing to compromise: if I get a near-perfect score on the final project and the math works out, he just might give me a C instead of a no-pass--even if it means he needs to round up one or two points. Talk about killing with kindness--I'm pretty sure no one has ever gotten grades that high in Esmail's class. He just wants me to do the damn project so he can take me off his fucking conscience. (And by "conscience" I mean "hopelessly twisted sense of justice that maybe was a conscience once before he got skullfucked by dead babies.")

I have no reason to believe Esmail will hold up his end of the bargain--but he's leaving me with no other option. Did I mention that he refuses to sign an incomplete because he doesn't believe in them? Even if it means a well-meaning, hard-working student who knows the material inside and out and has been getting good grades in all his assignments doesn't fucking graduate?

If I fail this class again I am taking this straight to the top. It's because of my own negligence that I failed to turn in lab 4 on time, but this is a far harsher punishment than strictly necessary. I know he's going to make it sound like I brought this upon myself, but that's like saying I deserve to die of oral cancer for not brushing my teeth last night.

You know that classic Chinese soap opera motif where the Tang Dynasty student falls asleep during the imperial entrance exams, and is doomed to spend five more years as a pauper before getting another shot at nobility? I'm like that right now, except I don't get another shot.

(edit) THANK GOODNESS I just did the math again and I realized all I need to pass is a 94 out of 120 on the final project hyperventilate hyperventilate
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my roommate is awesome

Andy: (Stops in mid-conversation.) ...Our neighbors are making sexy noises again.
Me: (Shrugs.) He's graduating. Poor neighbors.
Andy: Not for another week. I think this is break.
Me: Do you think they know we're making snide commentary right outside their door?
Andy: Probably. But I don't know--it's easy not to notice things when you're in the throes of passion.
Me: I wouldn't know.
Andy: Well...I tend to be oblivious when I...(Shifts eyes.) masturbate.
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