May 1st, 2003


(no subject)

New hypothesis. I'd be surprised if someone else hasn't thought of it before, but as far as I know it's pretty original (except the names of some of the stages, obviously, which I took from similar stage theories). Anyone want to take a crack at breaking it?

(Disclaimer: Please don't steal this. Steal it and you die. You want it, go link to it, or quote it and give me credit. Or if someone else has done this first, show me. But no stealing.)

Stage One: Anger. In this stage, the memory of some long-resolved, long-forgiven or long-forgotten conflict enters the stream of consciousness and produces feelings of rage, annoyance, pain, and/or shock. The victim may further inflame his or her emotions by thinking about other conflicts involving the same source of depression. The victim may also draw illogical correlations between the conflict and other upsetting events.
Stage Two: Sorrow. Feelings of hate and hurt reach critical mass and begin to subside as the victim diverts his/her attention from the source of depression to the suffering it has caused. Self-pity, bitterness, angst, sadness, and regret may enter the stream of consciousness as the victim wallows in his/her own misery. Thoughts of suicide may occur in extreme cases. Lapses into stage one are likely.
Stage Three: Rationalization. After having spent sufficient time and energy in stage two, the victim decides (for whatever reason) to terminate the stream of consciousness relating to the source of depression. This may be done out of guilt ("Why am I worrying so much about myself when other people have worse things to worry about? I'm so selfish"), fatigue ("I've worried about this enough. It's not worth all this time and energy"), distraction ("Time for dinner!"), or any of a variety of other reasons. If the source of depression is a conflict, Some victims may quell their feelings of anger by rationalizing a resolution to the conflict, or an explanation for one or both sides ("He didn't mean it when he said he hates me" or "They fight all the time but that's just how they show they love each other"). In most cases, the source of depression is put away and forgotten and may re-enter the cycle at stage one at a later date or be used as ammunition for "gunnysacking" during verbal conflict. Every now and then the source of depression may be removed completely, but this is rare.
Stage Four: False Apathy. Only some people reach this stage, and they will usually reach it only if one source of depression has gone through the first three stages several times. The victim, tired out by worry, refuses to think about or discuss the source of depression at all, sometimes claiming that he/she "doesn't care anymore" (when, in fact, the very reason for his/her apathy is that he/she cares too much). Being stuck in this stage can result in an inability to resolve conflict ("I've tried talking to her. She won't listen. I'm giving up. No second chances").

As with virtually any stage theory, not everyone will go through all four stages. Victims may jump from stage one directly to stage three, or cycle between stages one and two repeatedly and then jump straight to four. However, the sequence in which these stages occur is hypothesized to be nearly univeral.
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(no subject)

From the xanga of Chris, one of my best buds in America:

One more thing: I've noticed a lot of complaints about boys lately coming from girls. Okay. Rule number one about boys: they're not girls. Boys don't express emotion like girls do. You really can't expect them to express anything in this society that expects the "big reliant" type or the "funny guy" type to appear in every man's personality. How the hell can anyone expect a guy to do much if he's busy trying to put up a facade? Obviously, this doesn't apply to everyone, though I'm sure it does apply to some. Want to know how a guy feels? Try asking them just that when they least expect it, or maybe just try reading their motions and posture.

Or just kick'em in the balls and force them to tell you what you want them to tell you.

This is what happens when xanga premium runs out on you.

Good ol' Chris. I miss him. :]