Tags: phoenix

Things I won't miss about Phoenix/Arizona

3/31

This is a bitch/whine about Phoenix/Arizona. If you're easily offended, skip this. I will be fair and post a "Things I will miss about Phoenix/Arizona" list later. I may even post a similar pair of lists of Texas for the sake of fairness, too.

  1. The inability to drive in one lane, or is it that Arizonans consider the lines on the road optional?
  2. Hearing Arizonans say that they're "laid back" as an excuse for being lazy and apathetic. Even a slacker like me is disgusted by them.
  3. Tap water that tastes worse than horse piss.
  4. All the goddamn dust.
  5. All the air pollution.
  6. People whining that it is sooooo far to drive when the distance is just fifteen or twenty miles.
  7. Turn signals that let one car through - if that person has the reflexes of a race car driver. And the car to match, sometimes.
  8. People who pull into the middle of the cross street to make a turn. Then assume that since the light is yellow that means they get to go and that on coming traffic will magically stop.
  9. People who get pissed at me for not running a red light just to make a turn.
  10. City planners who can't figure out why there are so many people running red lights and getting into accidents when it's as plain as the nose on your face.
  11. People who thinks "It's a dry heat." is a joke. Ya'll can come down to our part of Texas when it's in the upper nineties or around a hundred sometime. You'll appreciate the fact you're in a desert a lot more after that.
  12. Living in a desert and not having water conservation laws. What the hell? Even San Antonio, with its asstons of rain had water conservation laws. We even had road signs with the Dune-esque saying of "Water is Life" on them. Here you people are with even less water, in the middle of a desert, and not a single real goddamn water conservation law on the books? It just boggles my mind and pisses me off. When Phoenix is desperate for water, I'm not gonna shed a goddamn tear.
  13. Get a real downtown, okay? 
  14. The light rail. Boondoggle, liability, and inconvenience all rolled into one. I might have been less inclined to dislike it if it was elevated, but come on folks. You're going to build a street level light rail in a place that is known for being a dangerous place to drive and you don't expect it to create a huge liability for the city? And who is going to bear the brunt of that liability? The people of Phoenix. People like the kids and the poor, because what programs are going to get cut the worst when the city is short on cash? But what the heck, the state is already one of the worst for education, so what does it matter, eh?

Okay, I will post one for the misses of Phoenix/Arizona because despite the whine, there are things I like about this place. I'm pretty sure I'll do them for Texas, too.