suddenly in the mood for sunflowers (my favorite flowers) and romance...hmmmmmmm. yummers!
niqqqa plszZz x0: neither are you ass hole .. i hope you burn in hell .. do you even believe in hell ? bytch go fck yourself ..
niqqqa plszZz x0: you have alot of nerve
niqqqa plszZz x0: you skanky whore
he broke me x: easy for you to say...say it to my face whore
he broke me x: and your white
he broke me x: get over yourself
niqqqa plszZz x0: your an ass hole .. yo .. you find the need to ryte bout me .. i swear ingrid no one reads
he broke me x: i'm an asshole
niqqqa plszZz x0: not as white as you ... n e ways .. you need to grow up!
he broke me x: you are you stupid fat ass bitch
niqqqa plszZz x0: yea..
he broke me x: cause i def. did something wrong
niqqqa plszZz x0: ugly red headed slut jew
niqqqa plszZz x0: you did !
he broke me x: SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU FAT ASS!\
niqqqa plszZz x0: i will you jew
niqqqa plszZz x0: bytch!!
niqqqa plszZz x0: try me 1
niqqqa plszZz x0: you think mah prob had no need for tears
niqqqa plszZz x0: yet your fcken PAT didnt like you
niqqqa plszZz x0: all guys see is yer tits .. so get over yer self
he broke me x: I'M NOT THE ONE ONE WHO GETS BEATEN TO A FUCKEN PULP! AND WHEN I DID I HAD SOME FUCKING NERVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF SIT ON MY LAZY ASS AND COMPLAIN! YOU STUPID ASSS...YOU HAVE NO REAL FRIENDS...EVERYONE SAYS SHIT ABOUT YOU! WELL...THE ONLY WAY GUYS SEE YOU IF WHEN YOUR BLOCKING THEY'RE FUCKING VIEW BECAUSE YOUR A FUCKING BALLOON!
your white and fat...and an insult to black people...so shut the fuck up!
my day was pretty nice...class went pretty smoothly...and we actually do work in science now. grrrrrrrrrr. hey but i guess you get what you get.
ummm so saturday night was amazingly fun! i love my band loverers and i love dancing! <3 the day was kind of shitty though considering the fact that fat ass doesn't no when to fucking shut up...and as soon as she goes "you don't deserve me as a friend...go to your loser band geeks...cause you lost me as a friend." so i go to her "no amanda...the only loser friend i had was obviously you." i love how she goes and insults my friends meanwhile she has none.
then yesterday morning i went to the turning point to go have brunch with my mom, her friends (iris, elizebeth, and barbra), and iris's son max. after brunch we went to walgreens and did some food shopping and then went to elizebeth's to have dinner there. mike came back from his dad's to have dinner with his mom and so did his cousin jason. interesting evening. at least we didn't fight all night. mike murry was actually nice to me for once. hmmmmmmmm. what has this world come to?
alrighty...no plans really for tonight...god i hope it snows!
the last 2 days have been so fucking shitty!
thursday - (last day of suspension) me, court, and amanda got into a huge argument. courtney stormed off like a maniac, while amanda stayed behind with me to talk. she said all this shit about court and jill and how weed is gay and blah blah blah...and YES I DID AGREE WITH SOME STUFF SHE SAID...but then the next day she ran to court and said i said all this shit about her and jill and michelle which fucking never happened...so i think this girl has some fucking explaining to do. i love how jersey girls talk soo much shit without backing up anything they fucking ever say. well we'll see who's fucking laughing in the end.
friday - went back to school with my mom (we had an appointment with the office to let me back into school) and i went upstairs to go get my books and court, jill and amanda were all walking together and amanda goes "she a fucking skank and deserves to lose her teacher like that" only for her to not notice my mom standing there and when she did the three of them went up to her and kissed up to her...i love how they think my mom can't hear anything they say. then supposedly court left early and amanda did too because she was in "tears". psht. good for her. and then later at night my mom was going out with her friend iris and was like you are going cause i want to set you up with her son. obviously she knew i wasn't interested in any guys at the moment and how i hate most of them for the time being. but anyway, i went to do her a favor and he wasn't the most attractive guy but he was quite smart. he's a sophmore and well...a red head. god help me. it was a good night though, we went to steak loft for dinner, some diner on rt.9 for dessert, and then went to see big fish at 10:25. i enjoyed myself for the fisrt time in awhile which makes me a bit happier then i was before.
today - i was suppose to go to some beauty pagent thingie with court today but looks like that's not happening, but at least i can look foward to the band party. whoop.
i figured out the key to people's depressions.
they lie to themselves about what they want and you soon start to belive it's something else you want...but in honesty...all you want is what your running away from.
i have no clue how long i can keep this game up. i'm at the point where i cry myself to sleep let alone sit at my computer in tears just waiting for you to im me. i'm not asking for much...just the truth. if youcan't give me that, let along yourself that, why did you even bother. why have i spent the last 5 years telling myself it was worth every minute? why did i continue comming to see you on wednesday nights at schrirra during kartee? why did i let you call me after a year of isolation from my life. why did i kiss you infront of my elementary school where everyone saw? why did we go on the long nature walk to get lost on purpose? why did i give you myself only to hear it was a fling? why can't i stop crying like a baby? why did i give up my halloween to spend the evening dinning with you at your house? why is it that you can't except your still in love with me?
you killed the best of me. and then threw me to the dogs without saying good bye. have you learned to live your lie?
is it really over?