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[07 Nov 2004|03:32am]

bye bye cakeface

ask for the new journal and maybe ill give it to you.
its never &!@% too late

[03 Nov 2004|11:26am]
too late

what the hell am i talking about? [01 Nov 2004|10:38pm]
[ mood | detatched ]

if you let it, the walls could come crashing down in an instant. you have two options here. you forfit life. give everything up and just scream. or you hold your head high and fight against everything inside telling you life just isnt worth it. but why? whats makes life what it is? some people have it so easy. other people have to fight to their last breath to even partially get what others have so easy. anything can fall into this. family friends school love weight. sometimes i wonder where i get my patience from in my family. i dont ever want to be like them. i cant even say what it is. its just like you watch them and make a mental note to never ever act like that. to never treat your daughter like that. little scars can kill a person. its liek i stand there, watching in terror and amazement. scared that hes going to take it out on you next. he always takes it out on you but youre just waiting for that one time for himto snap and you actually feel it. i wish he never came back. do you ever wonder what itd be like if youre parents were dead? i always say i have no idea what id do with myself if my mom died. but then i wouldnt have to you know, worry about all the other shit i do now. i dont know what im talking about. this makes no sense. i think i should be put into a psychiatric ward or something. stat.

too late

xo c o l l z ox: i wish our school would like blow up right now [01 Nov 2004|08:06pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

dude, i fucking quit school. im so done with it. im so dumb and i hate not knowing what im doing. i feel so lost and behind in everything. my mom is always up my ass about helping me. but shes never here. ive been sitting here all night.. going between my history and my biology. im drowning in work. it would be fine if i had a slight clue what i was doing. but i have no idea at all. and its liek all due soon. history.. due thursday. 5 essays? yeah, i dont even know where to start. and freaking biology.. 4 chapter test friday? it might as well be in fucking chinese because i dont get it at all. askfjgskjghljkashgiljehgljkhreqljgkhqeligherouigjrtaolhigrdslf. thats how i feel right now.

yo man, life blows. id would do a n y t h i n g for the summer to be back.. uGH.

too late

[31 Oct 2004|11:06pm]
ok. i have to say this. i love llanarch diner. never ever make fun of it or ill fuck you up. bitch. haha. but no. llanarch diner is the shit. and even though.. according to some people.. it isnt as gourmet as the country squire, it is a-maz-ing. and i love it. and dont ever hate on llanarch diner. kthxbye.

oh, ps. i miss the summer. like alot. alot alot.

i hate how i cant burn on people. cause they wont like understand. at all. its hard to hold it in.... lol.
too late

[31 Oct 2004|01:36pm]
ill pay someone 5 bucks to make aall of my entries friends only. or whatever you want me to pay you.

oh and whoever poured red paint all over my bush signs last night... i love you.
too late

[28 Oct 2004|04:06pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

dude. fuck this shit. i thought this weekend was going to be fun. now i dotn want to do anything anymore. aah coll, i thin our night is gonna be fucked up. =/ i dont know what to think about anything more.

oh and then i write colleen a note 1st period and it said bad stuff in it and i usually put the note ina our verbal book and leave it on her desk. yeah. well today she swears she didnt get the book or the note. which means someone read my note. and im so pissed off. ugh. i never sign my name and today just happeend to be the fucking day i signed my w h o l e name. real smooth, right?

its never &!@% too late

[26 Oct 2004|06:03pm]
[ mood | pumped up ]

okay, x out all those effin annoying depressing entries. all you need in the world is a best friend. annnnnnd monica stewart is mine. monica i think youre the only who who can make me happpy after ive been feeling shitty. annd i havent seen you in a while annnd i was feeling shitty for a while. haha. aaah. well i love you. and youre awesome. and i cant wait for halloween. we better have the video camera =D but okay. i just wanted to tell you that youre a fucking dick. oh wait. no. thats mee. haha i love you !!

too late

[25 Oct 2004|06:33pm]
[ mood | sick ]

then the room starts to get dizzy and you cant breath. all of it is way too familiar.

too late

the weird hilarity of it all. . . [24 Oct 2004|05:43pm]
[ mood | listless ]

i know why people cut themselves. the pain numbs the emptiness inside. i guess what i do is almost the same. you take it because youre pissed off at the world and you hate yourself. its a weird feeling to explain. exhiliration and sadness all pushed into one. if only you can hurt yourself just to drown out the world one more time. if only each time you empty the bottle things will be okay. they just get worse. and the temptation grows... for just one more time.

too late

[24 Oct 2004|04:17pm]
i hate random bad moods. they blow.
guys blow.. all of them in general. girls blow too.
too late

[23 Oct 2004|11:14pm]
[ mood | determined ]

hi. if i can borrow your house halloween night for a party i would be grateful. okay thxbye.

too late

I GOT SOUL BUT IM NOT A SOLDIER. [22 Oct 2004|10:30pm]
well, i know i have all my dance moves ready for winter dance =D i cant wait to bust a move. hollerr.

haha oh man. one word to describe tonight.... hil-ar-ious.

it first started off when i picked colleen up and we went to subway. the, uh, 'arab' guy. yeah. sooo i was singing in my own little world in a really high pitched voice.. to look over to see the subway guy staring at me. hahah theeeen he tries to hit on me and colleen. that set the mood for the night.

if you know us, me and colleen are absolutley c r a z y together.... aaaah. the game was amazing. i love hockey season. i tried my best to piss the people off next to me an di think we succeeded cause the def left like a period early. uh, thheeeeennnn we spotted our raise the roof man =D and that was when we 'officially' got pumped. we were dancing in our seats like idiots. and then at the end of the game our raise the roof man came down our row and sat right next to us. we were in heaven. oh. and did he raise the roof. hahaha. and then they did this dance off of two little girls next to us and it was on the teletron. annnd i spotted myself in the corner. soooooo i danced. hahaha. annnnnd it was hilarious.

and then my uncle was GROSS. okay, i was eating a hotdog.. and liek i cant eat the bun, right. sooo i was like. you know. pulling it out with my teeth. and nooooot thinking anything dirty at all. and then frank comes up and is like you look like youve had some practice there. and me and collen are shocked and like burst out laughing. and then when im done hes like you got osmething on your lip right there. and he like slobbers all of his lips. annnnd my jaw dropped to the floor and we like ran away.

oh. and we saw mr hoffman. mm. yum. siiiike.

oh. and on the way home we got our groove thang on. lean back. <33

+ subway singing // stalkers.
+ video camera for halloween
+ 'crying'
+ raaise the roof
+ singing. everything. especially songs we dont know.
+ ` hey how yah doin.'
+ dance off
+ hot dogs
+ fights
+ B-O
+ mr hoffman.

annnnd i love colleen mcgee.
its never &!@% too late

[18 Oct 2004|11:13pm]
eh, lousy day. nothing too bad. but i just feel like shit. i have to take the fucking bus tomorrow. yeah, cant wait. but im not going to start. i was going to write an entry about. someone. who i think needs to get over something after year. and i dont know why it bugs me so much even though it really has nothing to do with me.

im so ugly. i look like a pig. or a `hog' in terms of matt balke. im such a man. i hate it. anyway i guess i gotta go to bed... later.
too late

hello moto [17 Oct 2004|01:02pm]
work is gay. dont ever get a job.
school can kiss my ass.
and i need to get something to help me concentrate.
too late

[11 Oct 2004|03:29pm]
[ mood | restless ]

xo c o l l z ox: you are the biggest shade ball

aah. all i want to do right now is screaaam. haha. i am the biggest idiot ever. and im so shady. and i dont mean to be -at all.- aaaaaah i wanted to shoot myself today when he pulled away. okay, so. me and coll were walkin down and i was like aah this is going to be so shady. soo when i get to my car i wave to him and he waves back. soo i dont know what to do and me being ^ "the biggest shade ball" annnd i just walk to my car and talk to colleen like an idiot, kind of pretending that he didnt roll down the window. but like i didnt do it on purpose at all and i didnt know what to do. whaat an idiot. soo he pulls away and i want to kill myself for being the shadiest person everr. lol. oh, plus. i feel like an idiot again cause all these people are coming up to me about it and im likee whaat the hell. i feel bad that if so many people annoy me about it.. they probably will to him and he wont like me or things wont work oout.

ahh and theres so many other things. likeee my dad. ugh he scares me so bad. i dont udnerstand how i can drive at night at like 1130 and not be allowed to drive to school. and i dont understand why if im paying all of my own fucking insurance i cant drive to school. i dont know what the problem is with me not being allowed to drive to school. its broad daylight and theeres no traffic. and its onlly a freaking dollar a day. and its not even his money. aah. i dont get it. if you do, please let me know. mmkay thanks.

and then. fucking school. i hate it with a passioon. okay yeah my skirts short. but not as short as so many fucking other people. annd she always singles me out and makes me come up to her and its so annoying how she screams and is so loud and always about me. its so embarrassing. she was like unroll thats skirt that is disgusting !! i was like oomg i cant believe you just said that. and then she got all up in my face about just doing best buddies for national honors society. and like. i was in it last year and i told her that. and she didnt believe me at all i was like you can ask anyone and shes like theres no proof. and she was like fighting with this about me in front of everyone. a couple of them being hockey players, to make it even better. ahhhhh.

too late

[08 Oct 2004|10:57pm]
[ mood | happy ]

i think maggie likes a boy.
she had fun tonight.


too late

[04 Oct 2004|10:10pm]
i love my mom.
too late

[04 Oct 2004|07:11pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

you are so fuckign ridiculous and NO ONE understands why the fuck you are doing this. i hate you.

i fucking hate you.
and i hate this life.

the end.

too late

i wish you fucking died. [03 Oct 2004|06:57pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

i fucking hate you.

too late

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