Creditto Warner Bros., JK Rowling, and Alan Rickman.

At seventeen, this is what Harry's hormones had to endure everyday. How could he be expected to look at this man, and not want to do more? No matter how much Snape pissed him off, he knew he'd return to Hogwarts one day as Snape's equal, and wear the man on his arm properly. He didn't know if he could handle that much wizard, but he wanted to try.

Why Mpreg? Great Therapy!

No one likes to be judged for what they need to explore, and what others may not be ready for. In a place where individual tastes and experience levels are infinite, I'm in a place where my mpreg males never show physically like women. No big bellies. They always look and behave as males, and are classified distinctly from the female pregnancy experience. But I allow all versions, it's really the writing/characterization that determines if I can get into it.

That being said, I realized years ago that I use fantasies to let go of pain and to manage emotions that have no welcome place in the "real world." Because the imagination is lawless, it welcomes everything you can give it and is tremendous therapy in soothing issues that have no other way to voice themselves. I wrote a piece on noncon to try to understand this. Since fiction is a place where your personal issues and your fascinations can run wild together, they tend to marry and become your own way of healing yourself. Many women have issues with sex and pregnancy that is just too close to home, to get any enjoyment from self-inserted fantasies. But, use a male whose very anatomy removes him from the heaviness of the realistic factor, and use one that you love, and you've got the makings for the most satisfying drama on earth. It's one that deals with your private issues without throwing you and your problems in your face. A beloved male is running around being forced to think about all the things you won't let yourself think about, or receiving the love and attention that you'd like. He's taking the hits for you, and soothing you to a better feeling place about it all. It's basically a way to love something you might not love (for me). And the therapy is real, regardless of the fantasy setting. If you feel it, even through imaginary scenarios, then you are being led step by step through your own belief system and whatever emotions may have thrilled or frightened, or fascinated you.

There's more I could say, but a part of me loves that this is a mystery that has caught hold of a growing segment of people. It's happening for a reason and is not an accident. Fun heals serious pain, and people have issues that only mpregs speak to. If you have no compassion for what a woman goes through, who has to deal with the deeper decisions behind relationships, sex, and pregnancy, you might turn a cold shoulder to the concept of mpreg. But if you understand that the need to give those abilities to a man speaks of tremendous longing for equal respect and love, in an area where it isn't felt, then you might be forgiving of other people's tastes. Thanks for letting me speak on this. Here's some links if you're interested in exploring:  Masterpiece- Severus, Unbearable - Draco. Please recommend your favorite Mpregs below. I don't want to miss any great ones!

(credit to u/Fictional_Apologist on reddit for inspiring this answer)

And another thing:

People are being beaten up over the subject, so it's really hitting a nerve. If I can take up for somebody in need, I will. I felt ashamed for so many years when I didn't know anyone who had fantasies about M/M and the internet was not an option. Then I said to hell with it. What's so bad about giving yourself pleasure? It's not like we're hurting anyone and it's not like the publishers or movie-makers can give me what my mind can.

Do you see how people can readily accept house elves, magic of all kinds, and mega robot monsters, but you say something about a man having a baby and it's "absurd" and "unnatural". That speaks the truth about the hidden rejection/vulnerabilities that females are subjected to, but people pretend that it's not there and they're being perfectly normal. I say, "If you agree that childbirth is so wonderful and special, then let's give that job to a man and see if you still think it's sweet. Oh, that bothers you? Well it bothers me that that's really how you see it - a man should never be put into such a disgusting position, not even on an imaginary level. War, murder on CSI: Miami, and pedophilia on shows like Dateline, is preferable to that - but it's okay for women to suffer through it simply because that's what you're used to. Really? And we can't even pretend to let men do it too?" Now if men had to do it, that would be a different story. It'd be something terribly noble and highly respected, no greater prestige... you get the point.

Yeah, that's love and acceptance to every female child born into this world, and we say, 'No fucking thank you'. Who can blame us for amusing ourselves with watching males cope with all the chaos we're expected to be okay with? (credit to u/excruciasm on reddit for inspiring that answer)



So this is where I'm at in 2018. In teaching myself to write small novels, while I still work on my epic, I've written a little fanfic called, Unbearable - Draco For some reason, I can't let the gender issues go and after all these years of wishing I could write a Harry Potter fic that feels "right" to me, I've arrived at this. And because the story has proven to be too much for some gentle souls, I've created a wonderful Disclaimer # 2 for people who plunge ahead without reading warnings and then blame me for hurting their feelings.

Disclaimer #2 (This is not a real link)

We, the imaginary characters in this writer's head, hereby consent to playing roles that depict all forms of happiness and unhappiness, peace and violence. We are not of age because we have no age. We're just some energy she named after her current favorite characters. We are thrilled to act out the most hidden of human emotions. May you enjoy our non-physical performance, guilt-free. We exist to help you cope with all the freaking rules in your world. We are the raw emotion that needs somewhere to go. Enjoy, and let it rip! Oh, and if you cry, you're welcome. You needed that.

Elrond altered2

He's Still the Man of My Life: Sonny Preyer

2018!!  It's been years and years, and I'm still in love with this guy.

I suggest that you read through the introduction before following the links below. The links are there for added information, but are not vital, since everything will unfold in the story. (The links contain definite SPOILERS). Header and Warning found here. Enjoy.
Original date (?) May 12, 2006.


He was born to keep a promise.

Not even death will let him break it.

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Sonny Preyer

A Fairy Tale

of a different Kind

Copyright 2002 Bridgette H.



Sonny is an Illumenae.

Only one can walk the Earth at a time.

The Illumenae came about because some wise souls believed that those who cherish peace should not have to suffer those who relish war. They are individuals bred for one purpose, to renew the Promise that gives peace to the people of the The Realm. It is a genetic Promise, kept through propagation. And Sonny Preyer does not yet know that he is one of them.

Sonny is an instrument of power. He cannot defend himself, for deliberately harming another goes against his own life-giving energy. But harm finds those who provoke him, who threaten him, for his own power is confined within an infallible human adolescence, and has ways of escaping him.

Sonny is a brilliant, if troubled, student at Silver Springs High. Stigmatized by his fragile health, and medical secrets, his only consolation among his peers is a singing voice that makes even his bullies stop and listen.

The people in Sonny’s life are not who they seem to be:
Dr. Sanders, a prudent physician, has taken a special interest in him since birth, and limits his home practice to Sonny's needs alone. His school friend Brecca, and her cousin Elden, appear to have a sudden and inexplicable need for Sonny’s companionship. Shore, the new school counselor, says very little to Sonny, but is careful to watch his every move. Cale is the friend Sonny cannot remember having. And even Sonny’s parents, Amber and Dom Preyer, haven’t been entirely honest with their son.

His dreams of going to college come to an end when he is violently recalled to a world he once knew. The Realm is a green and abundant land, long forgotten within the vaults of his soul's memory. It is a world of castles, of sorcery, and of deadly magic. Here, every stranger knows the intimate secret Sonny takes great pains to keep hidden, and either loves him or despises him for it. Here, warriors vow to protect him from an enemy whose desire for him is as powerful as Sonny himself.

It is up to Sonny to find his way home from this place, where so much is expected of him. But first he has to face the one entity who stands in his way. Dastas.

Chapter One:
Part one
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven

Friends can find Sonny here. Thanks

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Photo courtsy of Warner Bros./Time Werner

You're invited to my Snape party. We're all dressing up like Snape, but you can dress any way you want. There's Butch-Snape, Boyish Snape, Drary Snape, Trans-Snape, Androgynous Snape, Deatheater Snape, And Eternal Snape who survived the story and reluctantly, Het Snape. We're watching the movies and talking during them. We're gonna swap our best fan-fic.

Everyone has to retell the Snape story in their favorite way. Usually, I pair Snape with all the male characters, but I saw a video today and something new has got a hold on me. It's not new to fandom, but it's new to me. I wouldn't have given it a chance until I began to miss Alan Rickman/Snape so much, went looking for him, and found this vid. The energy and love I feel are proof that Alan Rickman is still giving, still alive, and his touch can still be felt. Eternal!


Oh, and I also ordered a life-size cut out of his awesomeness as Severus.

JK Rowling, I love you to pieces, but I can't limit myself to your parameters. You were a total genius when you made Snape. You shouldn't have made him so good. Once Alan Rickman added his deliciousness, my imagination had no intention of coming back or being told what to do.

Lily took her secret to the grave. Snape may or may not be into women. Snape may or may not be Harry's father. Snape was not emotionally ready for a child. He wasn't over his own traumas. It was bad enough that Lily chose James over him. Lily never confirmed it, but Snape's perception and intuition are superior. How bittersweet it might have been to realize the baby was his, yet Lily's silence remained proof of her regret. If she did not have confidence in his role as the father, how could he? Was it shame, or love for James Potter that kept her silent? She was Snape's friend. He was there for her. Maybe the conception happened when she needed comfort the most. Maybe James couldn't give her a child, who knows? I will never write this story, so I'm laying it here at this party. If you write it, I'll read it, but het isn't my first choice. Good writing can persuade me. :-)

James Potter, while fun and charming, could not provide the emotional depth, maturity, and genius that Lily found in friendship with Snape. In turn, Snape's brooding disposition was no basis for a romantic relationship. She knew that Snape had a problem with loving himself. How could he love another? A child? Maybe Lily sensed that Snape was the kind of person whose affections could not be limited to women or men, or family. But a stolen moment of comfort happened, whether it was meant to or not. Lily and Snape tried to put it behind them, but Lily learned shortly thereafter that she's pregnant. (If anyone knows where the quality fanfic is, tell me!)

With the threat of Voldemort's growing power, none of them had time to sort out their issues before Harry was born and a new story is told.

Snape never intended to have look into Harry's eyes and see him as anything more than just another student. Snape doesn't know how to accept and process love. He feels it, but he can't easily demonstrate and manage it. What he feels when he looks at Harry, is a storm of emotion. His defenses rise against it.

But he does look at Harry and he sees not only Lily, confused Lily. He sees the irony of besting James Potter and never being able to let the world know it. He sees the boy he is not allowed to claim as his own. The boy he doesn't deserve. The love he doesn't deserve. He sees the family that Lily was ready for, and he was unworthy of. The sight of Harry touches every insecurity within Snape. James Potter traumatized Snape, yet James was awarded the loveliest thing Snape had ever known. James was found worthy of Snape's child. Not Snape. And silence had to be kept, or forever tarnish Lily's perfect memory. Add that Snape kept Harry alive by being undercover for Dumbledoor and the Deatheaters, all while protecting Draco as well, and we cannot fathom the strength it took not to break under the pressure.

Oh, and another damn thing. This detail is so small and so great, I have to point it out here. I got this from
Im-wanderingaway: on youtube. In the wand fight between Snape and McGonigol, watch carefully:

Snape not only deflects McGonagall's attack but uses it to take down Alecto and Amycus in a single armwave behind his visual field. Like they both had their wand out too but BOY they did not see that coming. Snape knew that he needed to get rid of them before being driven out of the castle so that they wouldn't harm any of the students GOD what a baddass motherfucker.

So what happens when Harry wakes up to the truth?

NOW, watch this video

Enjoy and thanks for reading.