Hello LJ, it's been a long time. I keep forgetting how calm and comfortable it is here compared to every other social networking site. This is like someone's living room, while FB is like going to the mall.

So, here's my life lately: Collapse )

Back to hippie roots....sort of.

I'm noticing an interesting personal development. For quite a few years, I threw all my "hippie" stuff to the wind and stopped caring about what I ate or bought, where it came from, and how it affects anything. I just kind of got really disillusioned with the vast pile of bullshit that must be filtered through in the psuedo-scientific new age, holistic and "green" movements. Sustainability is important to me, but too many people are all too willing to buy into whatever fluffy-sounding crap issues from the mouth of anyone who wears dreads, uses lots of hippie lingo, and looks like leather, as if that makes them an authority.

I'm mellowing out, and I think the past few years have been beneficial in some respects. I now seek evidence to verify people's claims rather than being eager to believe them because they comfort me or support what I'd like to believe. I've gone from being gullible to overly skeptical, and now am going from being too skeptical to healthily so.

Now, I'm starting to care again about how my actions, decisions, purchases, etc. affect things and am starting over in researching things so that I may make more conscientious choices, but wish to avoid becoming preachy and annoying about it. I like veggies, but when I see people eating veggie stuff while preaching the evils of meat, I just want to burn my ears out. I guess I got really annoyed with the hypocrisy of folks who wear leather Birkenstocks and smoke cigarettes while espousing "Ahimsa".

There are a lot of unfounded claims about superfoods and whatnot, and when people grasp at faintly scientific sounding jargon and spout it in a kind of smug superiority over the "ignorant and un-evolved" it just rubs me the wrong way big time. I find uber-liebral militant vegans just as bad as right-wing creationists. Dogma and bullshit is dogma and bullshit whether it wears tie-dyes or crosses.

All this is bringing me to a strange struggle as I seek to re-acclimate into conscientiousness and sustainability, but wish to avoid the culture of it. Hard to explain. I want to know what nutrients are in food, not what chakra it makes glow. I want to know how people and the earth are affected by a particular farming practice, not about how it messes with ley lines or makes Gaia sad. I want to communicate with people about how we can collectively make wiser choices, not bang drums in a haze of patchouli and pot.

Maybe I'm becoming a science hippie. I don't know what to call it. All I know is I want to combine compassion and science and reduce fluff and psuedo-science. The problem now is finding valid research that is devoid of the woo-woo stuff.

Long time no see...

Hey LJ folks. Been a long time since I've been around here. I was just reading through my friends page for the first time in a long while and I forgot how open and genuine LJ is compared to other social sites. I need to come back here more often. I think it's still the best one around.

So, what's up with Bill? Well, I still have my job, luckily.

I've also been diagnosed with Meniere's Disease. I started having symptoms about 3 months ago and wondered what the heck was wrong with me. I did tons of research online and found out about Meniere's which matched my symptoms exactly. Saw a specialist a couple of times and he's basically confirmed it.

The symptoms got really bad for a while and I got really scared, thinking I'd no longer be able to work, but the symptoms have been fairly mellow for the last couple of weeks, thankfully. It just sucks to be basically "normal" and then all of a sudden have this happen.

On the positive side of that, I have to be on a low-sodium diet and I've taken it upon myself to cut out refined sugars as well. My overall health is better and I think I'm losing weight. Let's just say I'm eating lots of salt-free stir-fry. But, no more pizza, burritos, or cheese for me.


The trip to Japan was quite nice. I've got pics up at Flickr for all to see.


The girlfriend that I was dealing with before has undergone some good transformations. She went to jail intentionally. She rejected bond and went through it for a month. She needed to learn the hard way. She's been sober for close to 4 months and is FAR more stable! I set up an agreement with her that if she sounds anything less than clear on the phone, I don't pick her up. She's doing really well and I'm quite proud of her. She's been very supportive through my Meniere's stuff.


I've had San Diego on the brain. I lived there as a kid for a couple of years and the memories from that time are my fondest of my childhood. I really loved that place. I've missed it ever since. I'm going to take a couple of weekend trips over the next year to feel it out. I hope the economy improves because I really want to live there. I constantly miss the ocean.

So, that's life for Bill right now. Hope life is treating all of you well.

Doing the Unstuck

I've been racking my brain for the last few years about how the hell I'm going to make money in a way that is fulfilling, enjoyable, fun and doesn't feel at all like work. Something where I find myself saying "I can't believe I actually get paid good money to do this! I'd do it for free!"

I still don't know what that will be, but I'm remembering lessons about how to get there.

There have been a few times in my life where I lived in complete trust in the universe, and just "knew" that everything I needed would work out just fine. The more I trusted and let go, the better things worked out. The more I try to control, plan and "make it happen", the less progress I make.

This flies directly in the face of my current skeptical nature. Lately I've needed evidence for anything I believe, and now I find myself falling back on the whole "My experience is my evidence" thing, which proves nothing to anyone.

Well, I've realized that the only things I need outward evidence for are the things I would claim to be true for everyone. The only person I can speak for in these particular lessons is myself, so I guess I can allow myself to open up a bit with this. After all, there's no science where this is concerned. No one else needs to believe this, so there's no one to convince.

I used to manifest things in my life through intention and trust. I'd put my intentions out there and simply trust that they would work out, and I often got surprised at how things would work out differently than I would have ever guessed, and be even better than what I originally wanted.

I can't manifest a damn thing if I waste my time brooding, worrying, and fretting and trying to make plans for ideas I don't even have yet. I've been spinning my wheels big time, like a car stuck in the mud, and it's time to take my foot off the gas, get out of the car, and just take in the surroundings. Maybe I'll find a log or plank to help get the damn thing unstuck. I sure won't get anywhere cursing and stressing and slamming my foot on the pedal. In fact, that will just dig me in deeper and maybe burn out the engine. Fuck that.

So, I'm getting out, breathing, walking a bit, and maybe will meet some kind strangers that can help me out. You never know until you let go.

How Your Childhood Dreams Can Clarify Your Goals

Have you ever remembered the kinds of things from your childhood that you wanted to be “when you grow up” and realized that, although you may no longer have the same goals, there’s something about those dreams that still intrigue you, yet you can’t put your finger on it?

Now that you’re an adult, you know more about those jobs and realize that they’re a lot harder and a lot less fun and glamorous than they sounded when you were a kid.

I believe that the things we wanted to do weren’t actually about doing those particular jobs...