not an entry in a while - seems i've been discovered by a few people. shame, shame on you for finding my silly tripe ;)
so many things, so little time.
started swimming this week. i love my apt. complex - we have a clubhouse with an indoor pool, saunas, gym, and hot tub. i have a big ass. i want it to go away. i haven't been swimming since, like, college. i felt like a little kid - i got all excited when i hit the water. i'm gonna try to do this on a regular basis - i need to. i'm getting big, and i detest my physical appearance. i know, who doens't, right?
i haven't actually worked out in 6 years or so. this stems from my fear of becoming obsessed with working out again, like i did years ago, and that came with some serious consequences - i'm a recovered anorexic/bulimic. i proudly threw away my book of fat and calorie content for every food on the planet. but yes - i enjoyed this. i am hoping this works out so i can feel attractive.
i am severely hungover. another friday night at the chamber, desperately trying to get people to dance to something other than VNV apoptacovacoil 23. its very tough. i dont think i spin crap. but when you clear the dance floor its certainlty embarassing.
thinking of people. people far away, wondering what they're thinking, and if i'm really an active thought, or just a memory. my impatience and clinginess defeats me sometimes.
i need a nap.