December 17th, 2001


i'm ok, you're ok.

the lobby is decorated for christmas in a horribly gaudy way, and i just want to set fire to it all.

i remember the fist time i ever fucked a rock star. 1992, i was at some stupid club in sandusky. the band walks in, my friends start freaking. i have no clue who it is.

they're fawning all over the group. the night ends, we get invited back to the hotel, i grudginly follow because i dont want to leave my friends without a ride. hotel staff opens a party room for us, complete with all the beer we could possibly drink. note the date - i wasnt even 21 yet.

one of the members eventually macks on me. i'm like ok, you're world famous, maybe i should fuck you. so i do, and he's old, and it all just was stupid. but i'm like, hey! here's my info, call me. of COURSE he doesnt and i never hear from him again.

years later in my naivete i am lectured on the perils of trying to get involved with a rock star: it just doesnt happen. they're dangerous, they will forget who you are within a matter of minutes after you've left. they just break your heart and dont give a flying rat's ass about it.

and now, i think - wow, i am that rock star. no wonder.

except i'm not.

just me and my car, that's all i really need.

and this. heh.

ok really, thats not true. i can deal with you if i find that i'm interested in what you have to say. otherwise, i end up staring at the wall.

a song comes on tonight and it reminds me of my insanity - driving through texas in an equipment infested minivan and writing FOOL on my arm in pen.

i LIKE being crazy.



oh yeah - the band? iron maiden.


i wont tell you who i screwed.
  • Current Music
    kashmir: led zeppelin

(no subject)

there are certain people that need not know about my life - what goes on beyond what i put in my lj - and there are people that need not relay this information to the undeserving parties.

heed this.

(no subject)

i am fucking FREEZING.

and tired. damn you lj capsule renegades.

we have one of those heating systems that blows hot air up until about 2 degrees higher than the set temperature, then it proceeds to blow FREEZING AIR to cool it back down. its retarded.

of course, my pseudo cube would have to be in the way of the vent. *@^$.

cow-orker brian blew his back out, so he's not at work today. so, its just me and colleen back in the box. i thwart her inane attempts at conversation she doesnt really pay attention to by giving one word answers to her questions.

i started drifting off at, like, 10:30 today, this is unusual for me - i usually dont start dozing off till the afternoon.

oh. OH OH OH. sis and her boi are, i think, going to be at the chamber this coming saturday. be there so you can meet them.

uh. yeah.
  • Current Mood
    tired tired