November 20th, 2001



leave me alone, DJ who continuously pesters me about DJing despite the fact that i use you for almost every special event and ask you to cover me almost every time i'm out of town. gee, when's the last time you supported my night?

leave me alone, stupid 480 traffic that backs up for no apparent reason except that people are incredibly, incredibly stupid.

leave me alone, stupid cellphone thats ignoring me anyway. i cradle you and carry you wherever i go. when's the last time you rang out of concern for me?

leave me alone, fragile body that cant seem to get its shit together and insists that it sleeps 48 hours a day. and your stupid brain with its misfiring that causes me to be retarded. i see tread marks in my major organs.

leave me alone, you stupid, insecure people that destroy everyone and everything around you to make yourself look better, because you're incapable of lifting yourself up.

go away, stupid bar patron that asks me how i am only as a introduction to a 20 minute tirade on how YOU are.

when nonexistance is inevitable its really hard to not become full with writhing, twisted masses that deprive me of oxygen. look, there's a wart, and its brow is furrowed.

t minus 1 day plus some odd hours. i'm in my cave waiting.

i think i should have stuck with the cave. the tower is too easy a target.

too many piles here. the ferret insists that everything should be in my closet.

and i wish my sister would actually use her LJ again. its therapy, seestor, it is.
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i'm watching everyone's little buddy names go idle, or acquire away messages, or watching the door close. and i should be cleaning - i have so much to do before tomorrow (TOMORROW?) - and its almost sad - like little rows of houses turning off their lights for the night, snuggling into their own private lives.

goodnight, little screen names. tuck yourself in tight.

my refrigerator box wont do this for me.

OMG COPS. how could i forget cops. cops, how i've missed you. shame on me for forgetting how much you've been there for me and your white trash glow, keeping me in touch witht he lower 95% of the food chain. you are my secret lover!


i'm not a pair of cement shoes, at least i try not to be. i dont want to be.

but right now i feel like i'm the most repulsive thing on the earth. i look weird.

sometimes i dont get the purpose of it all.

bosatsu91 - thank you for making my cellphone concerned for me. sorry i didnt call you back!

this is not how i wanted to leave for the weekend.

oh yeah. not gonna be around, i will be spending my holiday in NY with mom and sis and the dying granny. no net access for me, miss me lots, miss me spinning, miss my presence. miss the fact that i bring joy into your lives and that i am a shining beacon of happiness in a dark, rain filled planet of despair.

or, at least humor me because sometimes i like to be reminded that i'm wanted.

happy thanksgiving, kids.

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