(no subject)

my typical teen angst has taken a toll on me. so i dont think i will be posting in livejournal for a while. plus i need to focus on school and finals. if you want any updates on my currently hellish life... check out my myspace account.

the end(of it all)
  • Current Music
    the decemberists

another boring survey

1. Name:: Tara
2. Middle Name:: E.
3 Nickname:: T, tata, tata magillaster
4. Age:: sixteen
5. Location:: north phoenix
6. Eye Color:: blue.. bitches
7. Hair Color:: right now its like reddish brown.. my natural color is dark brown though
8. Hair Length:: none of it is the same length... but i would have to say.. at longest its close to my shoulders
9. Height:: 5'6"
10. Shoe Size:: 8
11. Glasses or Contacts:: none
12. Braces:: nope
13. Single or Taken:: single.. but....
14. Bad Habits:: biting my nails..
15. Fears:: becoming old and alone
16. Screen Name:: medic attention

::_**_:: School ::_**_::

17. Where Do You Go to School:: CSHS
18. Whats Your School Mascot:: a falcon
19. Whats Your School Colors:: grey and blue
20. Whats Your Favorite Subject:: hmm... math.. .. chemistry... and english.. oh oh.. and french
21. Whos Your Favorite Teacher:: DelGrosso
22. What Do They Teach:: math
23. Who Sits Next to You In Math Class:: nick sits next to me.. and Christy sits behind me.. i dont know anyone else

::_**_:: Love Life ::_**_::

24. Do You Have a Boyfriend/ Girlfriend:: no.. well... he is 800 miles away
25. If So, Whats His/Her Name:: (austin) but we arent together
26. If So, How Long Have You Been Together:: off and on for 2 years
27. Do You Have a Crush:: yes.. .. ...
28. Do They Know:: obviously
29. Have You Ever Broken Someones Heart:: probably
30. Have You Ever Had Your Heart Broken:: yes... damnit austin...

::_**_:: Favorites ::_**_::

31. Animal:: tigers
32. Color:: grey or green
33. Person:: hmm... im not gonna pick favorites.. thats mean
34. Subject:: Algebra
35. Season:: beginning of summer
37. Hobby:: ...
38. Sport:: running
39. Feeling:: complete happiness... or being in love.. or BOTH
40. Saying:: "if love hurts then its in the wrong hole" -Marvin Gaye (its dirty i know.. but funny too)
41. Word:: lachrymose and fathom
42. Month:: june
44. Jewelry:: the wood ring i got with cassie, vale and christy
45. Food:: CHICKEN FINGERS!!... mwhaha
46. Snack:: ... je ne sais pas

::_**_:: Friends ::_**_::

47. Best:: leah, cassie, laura, austin
48. Most Daring:: grant
49. Funniest:: leah, cassie
50. Tallest:: aj or jon
51. Shortest:: hahahahahahahahaha
52. Loudest:: me
53. Shyest:: um....
54. Smartest:: cassie
55. Blondest:: leah haha
56. Craziest:: leah
57. Nicest:: all of them.. minus calob
58. Sweetest:: anthony.. and austin
59. Weirdest:: leah
60. Flirtest:: (is that even a word??) LEAH!!
61. Best at playing the drums:: Carson
62. Best at playing the guitar:: jon
63. Best at playing the bass:: uhmmm
64. Most Romantic:: je ne sais pas
65. Most 'emo':: austin and carson
66. Who puts up with the most shit:: all of them
67. Skiniest:: leah
68. Fattest:: uhmm..
69. Sexiest:: leah and austin... of course
70. Moodiest:: hahahahaha

::_**_:: Have You Ever ::_**_::

71. Had a Wish Come True:: probably
72. Had a Dream Come True:: probably
73. Broken a Body Part:: my thumb... bitches
74. Fallin in Love:: yep
75. Done Something You Regret:: nope
76. Tripped and Fell in Public:: all the damn time
77. Sang in Public:: hahaha sort of.. for cassie (lovesong)
78. Cried in Public:: too many times
79. Kissed Someone Besides Family:: duh
80. Been in a Car Crash:: yes

::_**_:: The Last ::_**_::

81. Thing You Did Before Getting on the Computer:: smoke break
82. Person You Yelled at:: my dog.. does that count? (he ate a sock!)
83. Person You Hugged:: my momma
84. Person You IMed:: CASSIE!!
85. Time You Cleaned Your Room:: today
86. CD You were Listening to:: copeland
87. TV Show You Watched:: Life as we know it (ahh.. soooo good)
88. Movie You Saw:: Saw with Matt (psht)
89. Time You went to the Movies:: a couple weeks ago with Matt
90. Time You Cried:: a few days ago... damnit austin
91. You Took a Shower:: a couple hours ago

::_**_:: This OR That ::_**_::

92. Coke OR Pepsi:: coke
93. Tall OR Short:: tall
94. Flowers OR Candy:: flowers
95. Math OR English:: math
96. Blink 182 OR Sugarcult:: neither
97. Mickey OR Minnie:: ahh!!
98. Middle School OR High School:: high school
99. Boyfriend OR Girlfriend:: boi
100. Single OR Taken:: taken

::_**_:: Word Association ::_**_::

101. bead:: necklace
102. bed:: sheets
103. sexy:: sex
104. phone:: austin
105. tough:: guy
106. neato:: austin
107. leather:: jacket
108. weird:: cassie
109. so:: ...
110. easy:: slut
111. test:: oh crap!
112. nerd:: me
113. falling:: in love
114. air:: breathing
115. hot:: coffee

::_**_:: Random ::_**_::

116. do u sleep with a stuffed animal:: nope
117. do u like snowballs:: nope
118. are u in school:: not right now.. considering its sunday
119. do u like to swim:: yes
120. are u funny:: i suppose
121. wut do u think of water:: j'aime
122. are u a blonde at heart:: of course
123. have u ever been to maryland:: actually.. yes
124. have u seen Chasing Liberty:: hahahaha i loooooove that movie
125. are u happy this survey is over:: yes.. but now i will be bored..
  • Current Music


1) Starting time:3:21pm
2) Name: Tara
3) Nicknames: T, tata, tata magillister, vaughn
4) School: Cactus Shadows
5) Email: yourwelcum@hotmail.com
6) Eyes: blue.. with a hint of gold to be specific
7) Hair: light auburn
8) Height: 5'6"
9) Siblings? une soeur
10) Have you ever been cheated on: yes.. unfortunately
11) Ever missed school because it was raining: i wish
12) Set any body part on fire for amusement: probably
13) Kept a secret from everyone: yes..
14) Had an imaginary friend: nope
15) Been in love? yes
16) Cried during a Flick: yes... (the notebook)
17) Had a crush on a teacher: ick!
18) Ever thought of animated characters was hot: nope
19) Ever at anytime owned a 'New Kids On the Block' CD: i wish
20) Ever prank called someone: yes.. but i always start laughing
21) Been on stage: yes

22) Shampoo: herbal essences
23) Color: dark green
24) Summer/Winter: both?
25) Online: ummm?
26) Lace, silk or satin: all three?

28) Who have you known the longest of your friends: Leah (we just had our 8th anniversary)
29) Which one of your friends do you trust most?: Leah or Cassie
30) Who's the shyest: je ne sais pas
Craziest: all of them
Ditziest: leah
Funniest Laugh: hmmm...?
Most Exotic: leah
Artsy: je ne sais pas
31) Who do you go to for advice: leah
32) Who do you get along with: all of them

-----------IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS HAVE YOU------------
33) Cried: yes
34) Been mean: of course
35) Lied: yes
36) Been sarcastic: yes
37) Met someone new: yes
40) Hugged someone: yes
41) Fought with your parent(s): yes
42) Wished upon a star: nope
43) Laughed until you've cried: yes
44) Played Truth or Dare: nope
45) Watched a sunrise/sunset: yes
46) Went to the beach at night: nope
47) Read a book for fun: yes
49) Are you lonely: sometimes
50) Are you happy: yes
51) Are you talking to someone online: i was talking to Jon

--------DO YOU BELIEVE IN -----------
52) God/Devil: yes
53) Love: yes
54) The Closet Monster: no............
56) Heaven/hell: yes
57) Superstitions: heck yes

58) Full Name: Tara E. Vaughn
59) Who named you: ma mère
60) Backstreet Boys or N Sync: nsync
61) When was the last time you showered: today
62) What was the last thing that you said when you were online: "have fun"
63) What is right next to you: hand sanitizer

64) What is your computer desk: wood painted an ugly shade of yello
65) What was the last thing that you did: watch harry potter

67) Where would you want to go on your honeymoon: france/anywhere in europe
68) Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: the one who understands me better then anyone. the one who makes me feel beautiful. my other half.
69) How's the weather: sooooo nice
70) What did you do yesterday/today: gained 10 pounds
71) Thing that you find attractive about the opposite sex: eyes, sense of humor, intelligence
72) How do YOU eat an Oreo: *gag*.. i dont

73) All time favorite TV show: boy meets world, seinfeld, will and grace, scrubs (i really dont watch tv that much... hardly ever..)
74) Dream car?: 1967 mustang convertible
75) What do you want to be when you grow up: owner of my own magazine
77) Favorite music: anything really... classic rock/indie/electronica/some hardcore/anything 80s
79) Favorite food: meh... food is overrated
80) Favorite days of the week: sunday
81) Favorite bands/singers: morrissey/the smiths. the cure. action action, bikini kill/le tigre. elton john. queen.
82)Favorite sport: je ne sais pas
83) If you could change your name, what would it be?: ...
84) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: nope
85) What is the stupidest thing you've ever done: theres sooooo many (party at rachels with leah and jeff in the bathroom/"tu ne suis pas"/etc,etc)
86) Favorite Boy name: Dylan and/or Elliott
87) Wife/husband: husband
88) Favorite girl name: je ne sais pas
89) Favorite drink: peach iced tea
90) You like scary or funny movies better?: both.. plus romances
91) On the phone or in person: in person
92) Lust or Love: how about a combination... love with lust entangled...
93) If you could change something about yourself: hmmm...
94) Do you consider cheerleading a sport: heck yes...
95) Do you have pets: a dog and a cat
96)righty/lefty: righty
97)shoe size: 7.5 or 8
98 ran into a glass door: ... i'm sure i have
99) gone skinny dipping: hmmm... no..?
100)gotten hit by a car: probably
101) Time Finished: 3:48pm

that was a nice momentary cure for my boredom. yesterday was completely amazing and i am so thankful for my friends and all the people i love.
cassie and i are geniuses.
austin is my lover.
grant is rad-tacular.
carson is the sweetest boy. ever.
leah is the wind beneath my wings.
i love everyone.

*by the way.. i ran into Josh Haskins today.. it was weird.. and he still believed the rumor that laura started last year about being pregnant... it was amazing.

  • Current Music

a reply

my thoughts are going a million miles an hour, but all i seem to be thinking about is you.
we seem to always be thinking the same thing, or maybe you just know my thoughts because you know me so well.
i cant even begin to explain my thoughts and feelings, so i hope you dont mind how random this is going to be..

I forgave you. I forgive you. There was nothing that you did, that i didnt think about doing myself. You don't need to put all the weight on your shoulders because it all ended on a mutual agreement. You wanted more of one thing and I wanted more of another thing. We just weren't meant to be in that time and place. Maybe next time it will be different.
I could tell you that i loved you a thousand times and it wouldnt even begin to describe these feelings. (I know that sounds stupid, but its true).
I hate that you feel as if everything is your fault, so stop. It wasn't your fault.
Honestly, I cant fully describe in words what we had. It just was. I dont think it was love though. Love has become such a cliché and it is used so lightly nowadays. It was so much more then that. Like I said, nothing can describe it in words.
I almost wish it was just a cliché love relationship just so that I could describe it in words. I want to be able to explain this amazing relationship that I had when i was so young to my kin (that is if I ever reach that point in my life).
Whatever this is, it is beautiful.<3