||[Jan. 14th, 2005|07:56 pm]
I've forgotten to update this, but I took an online quiz much to my dismay, which reminded me of livejournal. I find those things bothersome, too trendy, to be put in a journal which has always seemed like a heaven of free space to me, even if it is online. I'm rambling though and need to be hushed.|
I'm constantly listening to old Mars Volta which is At the Drive In. I don't know which way the band broke up originally, who went where. The songs are so intricate and cryptic. I don't know what the lyrics mean, but I feel emotional, full, intelligent when I listen to them. It's my anti-hunger force.
I started back up studies with Aunt Cora. She was being a prude, bitchy even. T.T
Math is too complicated and mind numbing. I shall take a stand and not participate.
Jack and I are no more. I broke up with him. He's too dull, unpassionate. He didn't want to hold my hand or come over. He missed me going out with people and getting so drunk I couldn't remember anything. I missed him being simple. So, what? A misguidance of expectations.
It's better this way.
I've picked up old habits. Running fingers over my body, mirror shots every five seconds, pilates, running, scratch, scratch, bruising. I even smoked a clove cigarette today, but it wasn't satisfying. Everything else is.
Spring, please come soon...