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Dark lord

alloy_ Her Master's voice.........

this ego unleashed...

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another story drabble

this one in the light of HTF's uh official designation...

Stupid Silly Lovely Man.....it's a girly story girls

Stupid Silly Lovely Man.
By alloy.

I bask in the heat of summer. A somnolent lizard, growing more torpid as my tummy grows. It is a tummy now, no longer a stomach. The child, a son I think, is making his presence known.

In contrast to my persistent sleepiness, Ron who used to hibernate throughout the summer has become galvanized. He disappears at odd times with Arthur, or Harry, or even my father. He has checklists, ‘things to do’ lists even grocery lists. In between naps, I caught him writing a letter to a maternity magazine. That shocked me so much that I demanded that Harry confront this Polyjuice impostor.

It turns out Ron was sending a picture of me, in all my pregnant glory, for a competition. My husband had gone nutters, absolutely mental on me.

Stupid man.


The tummy seems to be in the public domain. My stomach once a private place, flat, if softy rounded, suffered only my husband’s caress, but the tummy endures a wider audience.

The family must touch it, Ginny insists on polishing it. Weasley cousins traverse England to view it, (though to be fair they bring gifts) and my mother arranges tea parties for my muggle relatives.

A sudden coldness on my tummy accompanies a disgusting noise. The coldness spreads under rubbing hands. I open my eyes.

“Ronald! What are you doing?”

He grins at me, his hands are full of a white cream a bottle on the ground next to Ron’s knee explains the noise.


“Vitamin E Luv, with cocoa butter, to prevent stretch marks.”

Silly man.

“Quack, quack.”

“Ronald!” We are on our way to dinner with my parents, at a stylish muggle restaurant a block away from the Leaky Cauldron.

“Quack, quack.”

“I do NOT waddle!”

“If you say so Luv.”

“Ronald! Stop it!”

Suddenly it becomes too much for me. The spectre of the impending birth. The changes in my body, the fear of the pain of childbirth. I collapse onto a nearby step.

“I’m afraid Ron.”

“I am too.”

“How can you be? You just stick your, your thing in me when you’re finished roll over and go to sleep. I’m the one this is happening to. I’m the one whose body is changing, who’s fat. Whose breasts ache continuously, who can’t sleep though the night because your bloody Weasley child is pressing on my bladder.”

My tirade runs out as my tears begin to flow. “Ron I’m so afraid.”

Ron’s rough thumb wipes a tear from my cheek. “You’re not fat.” He says. “You’re beautiful.”

I manage to gulp a sob back smile at him.

“You’re the most perfect, most beautiful thing in my life I’m deathly afraid of losing you.”

He brings out his wand. “BURDONARIUS ALLEVIATE.” I feel a surge of energy, of wellbeing flow into me.

“Ronald, you know that sort of spell is bad for the baby. It’s as bad as taking muggle stimulants.”

“No it’s not.” He mutters, as he literally staggers to his feet.

“Ron are you alright?”

“Fine, fine.” He says. “Merlin! You didn’t tell me about the back ache.”

I can barely feel a twinge, I don’t understand what he’s talking about. “Ron what did you do?”

He groans as he helps me up. “Something I should have done ages ago. I didn’t know you were feeling this tired. Oh yeah, now I need to pee too.”

I pinch myself to confirm a suspicion.

“Hey! Don’t do that.” Ron rubs his arm, as if I had pinched him as well as myself.

I pinch him. He grins. “Only works one way.” He says.
“You get my energy I get half your aches and pains.”

It begins to sink in what he’s doing. “How long does the spell last?”

“I’ll renew it every morning, until the…”

“…the baby’s born.” I whisper.

“Pretty much yeah!”

“Ron this is too dangerous. What if something goes wrong? What if I die in childbirth?”

“I guess I die too.”

“You can’t!”

“Hermione listen to me. No Wizard who calls himself a man will allow his wife to go through childbirth alone. No Weasley anyway.”

“It was a man who saved me from a troll Ronald Weasley. You don’t have to prove anything now.”

He kisses me gently. “For better, for worse, in sickness and in health, I’ll help carry your burden.”

“Ron… I…”

“Shush!” He says putting a finger over my lips. “When I said I was scared I meant it, but right now we both need the loo my nipples are itching like crazy.” He turns and continues toward our destination, pausing after a half dozen peculiar strides. “What?”

I stifle a giggle. “Quack, quack”


Lovely man.


The dark lines under his eyes have only just appeared. The stupid man has insisted on renewing the spell for the past fifteen days. It’s taking its toll.

He’s asleep now. I allow myself the indulgence of toying with his hair. As a girl, silly as it seems, I always wanted to, from the first day I met him. It always made him seem so alive.

He caught me once, in our fifth year. He had fallen asleep after a gruelling Quiddich practice I could resist temptation no more.

“Whatcha doin’?” he had asked sleepily.
“You had something in you hair. From practice.” I had answered my blush clearly visible in the firelight, a blush worthy of a Weasley.

He gave me perfume that Christmas, a terribly expensive scent which to be frank smelled awful. The card which accompanied it was tatty and home made, the script was simply “Merry Christmas Hermione”, but inside the envelope, was a lock of his hair, wrapped in a note: “Mione, I wash my hair after practice.”

He stirs, his blue eyes flutter open.

“Alright Mione?”

“Fine Love.”

“Today?” I had felt the twinge myself.

“I think so, in a little while. Go back to sleep.”

He turns in toward me, kissing my tummy through my nightdress, his arm protectively over me. “Mione.” He mutters before returning to sleep.

Stupid silly lovely man.


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I just love Ron. I wish that my hubby could have done that.

Sharing the spinal anesthetic might have been awkward for me though

It would have been awkward for my hubby also.

Of course we both would have loved to.

That was so sweet! I loved it and Ron would do something like that for Hermione.

Stupid, silly, lovely man, describes him perfectly!

I just loved it..it was wonderful. You have to do the birth scene now, you know that don't you.
I have to admit that I am a real fan of yours, you have a unique insite (as a sensitive man) into Ron, and I think you have him spot on. it realy brightened my morning reading this, so thank you.


I do love your Ron,

*sigh again*

Please write more.

Well I don't know about the actual birth scene

Maybe an aftermath where Ron is pale and exhausted, and Hermione keeps on describing him as 'Sensitive' to all her muggle cousins

Re: Well I don't know about the actual birth scene

LOL...gone are the days where he has the sensitivity of a blunt axe.

I look forward to whatever you do next, my friend.

(Deleted comment)
I might tell you what I think. Some time. When I get around to it. Some day. Other people's opinions really don't matter, do they?

This was really sweet Marc. You write a great Ron, always.

And I don't mean to sound sexist or anything, but if that spell actually existed, there would be a lot more families with only one child. Men wouldn't last 2 minutes in a pregnancy!

Except you, of course, we all know you are the exception, you delightful thing.

And Arthur did it seven times....

....and is close to every child...(well except Percy)...I rather like the idea that it's a Weasley thing, which is why they have so many kids, because their wives know that the burdon is shared of the outset....whereas the Malfoy's probably send their pregnant woman into isolation.

Re: And Arthur did it seven times....

LOL! Exactly - I can see Lucius complaining about Narcissa's "whining"...

Re: And Arthur did it seven times....

Which is why he doesn't get nearly as much nookie as Arthur, which is why he's such a crumpy chum

Re: And Arthur did it seven times....

Right on target, there.

Molly and Arthur are so at ease for a reason...

Mollywobbles tense.....

Any Tension Mollywobbles feels is....good King Arthur with his lancelot.

Re: Mollywobbles tense.....

You are such a goofball. And this is, of course, why we adore you...

Re: Mollywobbles tense.....

That and the fact that I have.....................................................................................................................................................a cute avatar

Re: Mollywobbles tense.....

Don't use your son to make up for your sick ass sense of humor. We have to get Mrs. Alloy on here to get the real story. Come on, we've got Mr. Fiz and Mr. Maple. Why not Mrs. Alloy???

And the avatar is indeed adorable!

Re: Mollywobbles tense.....

Alas no internet access at home....thank god....though mrs alloy will no doubt confirm my sick sense of humour....

Aren't you the hopeless romantic? That was very sweet!

I love your Ron.

My husband would not last a week. He complained about a paper cut for 4 days. lol

Stop making me cry. No really stop please. That was a wonderful drabble and I love that it is something that the Weasley's do. Well done.

Oh I LOVED it!! Excellent job! Yet another drabble that makes me wish Ron Weasley was real. And MINE.

Stories like this aren't helping me repress my baby fever...

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