1. We NEVER see eachother
2. He never makes an effort to see me, call me, anything.
3. His sports are his whole life.
4. I just don't think we're compatible anymore
5. We don't have anything in common anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I love him with all my heart but I just think it's time to move on. I don't want to be with the same guy all through highschool. I want a guy who will take me out to dinner once in a while and actually WANT to do it. I want a guy who calls me just to see how my days going. Dean never calls me.. ever. I'm always the one calling him and asking him to hang out and everything. He says he loves me and wouldn't know what to do without me but he doesn't show it. I just want a little effort and i've been telling him this for months. He changes for a couple of weeks but then goes back to his same old ways.
I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and him and I not being able to see eachother for a month really put a reality check to me. I thought I would die not seeing him, and it was like that for about a week. But then I got over it. I can live without him. I think i'm just hanging out because of everything we've been throuhg and I care so much about him and I don't want to hurt him. I would really like to be just friends with him but I don't think it will happen.
I don't even have the same feelings for him as I used to. I don't know.. it's messy. This is one of the hardest things i'll ever have to do, but I know I have to do it and go on with my life. I'm hanging on to him thinking that things will change, but they won't. I just want things to go back to how they used to. How he used to be so sweet and do cute little things and how I used to get butterflies everytime I saw him. It just feels like the flame has gone out. When we hang out once in a blue moon it feels like we're just more like friends than boyfriend and girlfriend.
Ugh. This is draining =(