hello, my name is andrea, and i am determined to become a musician one day. i warn you, i am extremely determined and i have an immense love for art and coffee. i love some certain places in baton rouge that can make me feel like no one can. today, i took down every picture from my wall of every eighth grade memory i have. i am beginning with a new canvas of my wall to paint up something beautiful. a few bulletin boards with a title on the top displaying the people i love and the things that i like. music, sushi, writing, painting. i'm not quite sure what my new room will hold for me. i feel like i am leaving the house forever. i feel like i'm moving away to a new place and my mom has to re-paint the walls because of all the thumb tack holes. i feel like i want to do something great and exciting and something that i will never forget in my entire life. something that will be forever burned into my memory of one of the best days of my life. with every thumbtack i peeled out of the wall, i would laugh and smile and occasionally shed a tear thinking of last year and how unexplainably incredible it was for me. i made my biggest accomplishment, actually performing in front of an audience. i began writing and overcame one of my biggest troubles. i started eating lunch again last may. i had my first kiss, and my first kiss that meant anything. i held hands with a boy that i didn't care at all about. and i still fucking hate him. i wrote hundreds of songs and poems that i haven't shown anyone still. i got grounded every four weeks or so because of my grades. this year i did nothing like that. this year went too perfect to make any sort of interesting statement about how the bad things turned into beautiful memories. nothing like that happened. last year i acquired a strong love for coffee that i still have not lost. i went to CC's with him and he drove me insane when we called it off. no, idiot, i don't want to think of you. at all. and i don't. i scratched out his face in the pictures i have of him. they are useless scraps of paper and they mean absolutely nothing to me. i began going to shows last march and that event was one of the best for me, in the field of music. i got most of my inspiration from the shows i went to without him because i felt independent and i could do what i wanted. i remember when he went out of town, i called all my friends, guys and girls, and proclaimed my happiness that he was not hanging out with us that weekend and i could finally spend time with these people i loved more than him. last year, my dad said some of the most hurtful things i can ever remember anyone saying. i spend a lot of time reminiscing about events and memories i have kept from last year because it's one of the best i've ever experienced in my life. finally i had been socially accepted by everyone. people knew me and loved me; however, i did not have a best friend. i didn't think i needed one, when i really did. i needed one most last year; so many people tried reaching out to me, just to be declined by my pride. i had built up a lot of that when people began liking me. i didn't believe it would ever happen, and the day it did, i didn't really know what to do with it. i don't quite remember that day specifically, either. the funny thing is, right now i still have friends, a good number of them. i have a best friend who has not called me in 4 days. i have an undying love for music that will never cease. i have a pencil and a notebook waiting for me at all times and a guitar that remains unplayed. i have a billion cd's that have been waiting for years to be listened to. i have a game system that cries from having dust in its eyes. i have memories of places i used to go that molded me into this person i am today. i have many ups and downs and i am a human being just like you are who is reading this. i am far from perfect and i accept it. i have not found love and i accept it. i accept too many things, sometimes. i do sudoku puzzles constantly and i enjoy reading the newspaper while drinking a coffee outside at perk's. my favorite day of the year is the saint patrick's day parade in baton rouge. nothing ever felt like family to me until then. i have a very overdramatic and church-obsessed mother who loves me unconditionally. i have an asshole for a father and sometimes i like him. i have a sister whom i thoroughly enjoy her company and her car. i have another sister whom i also love to be with. my family is pretty much inseperable and i like us that way. the flaming lips make me feel warm, almost as if i've been drinking too much. i kind of like that a lot. i really like listening to my mp3s of the angels and airwaves cd, or just listening to that cd at all. i love burning incense and lighting candles in my room. i like change, but not in people. i am fragile and weak sometimes in certain areas and i get a lot of sores. they only get covered with forever-lasting band aids that never seem to quit working. those are my favorite kind. i like to hold hands and not kiss. i like to eat sushi and a lot of people i know said they have "almost THROWN UP" when they tried it. i live in a town full of rednecks where they ride atvs and drink every night as entertainment. sorry, denham springs. you are not, and never will be my home town. hello, my name is andrea and i am determined to become a musician one day.