Fountains of Christopher
Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Christopher" journal:
[<< Previous 10 entries]
Hey, look, I'm making up words. I'm wordmaking. That's right.
I haven't written on LJ for a while, so I figure I should. Not that there is a whole lot to update. I'm still single, still playing my ps3, etc. I am working out more than usual, and I started to finally lift weights while keeping my cardio routine up. I've been working out for about 2 hours each weekday at the gym, and I'm getting some good results so far. My big problem areas are my chest and my tummy, but those areas are problems for anyone that used to weigh 300+ lbs. You wouldn't know it by looking at me in regular clothes though. I'm starting to look really good, and I like it. I'm going to keep this up for a little while so that I can see how far I can get.
I quit WoW. Well, I'm taking a break anyway. I wasn't playing enough to justify paying a subscription. I blame MS. Can't say I don't like all the free time I've discovered as a result. I wasn't enjoying the game like I used to, and I think that the health situation I've been going through has made that a lot clearer. I'll play it again when I think I'll enjoy it again. Right now, I'm having fun playing Uncharted 2. Now, that is entertaining! My re-introduction to console gaming is almost complete. Before the end of the year, I'll probably have an Xbox 360 too. hehe
Dating life has been at a stand-still for a little bit again. hehe, go figure. I think I may be too picky. But, you know, you gotta be to get to the right one. I don't want to sell myself short when it comes to an LTR, which is what I want ultimately. I also recognize that I'm not getting any younger. I am *not* worried though. If anyone knows anyone they want to set up with a good guy that loves his ps3, then I'm ... game.
In a nutshell, life is good.
The New Extopher|
After years of not doing Youtube videos after that one I did about the iPhone, I'm back with a vengeance.
Here are a couple videos I've done so far. More to come!
"Epic" Tuesday Morning Post, featuring Lady Gaga and Ke$ha|
I should LJ more. I'd rather share things here than in Facebook or twitter though because ... Facebook is littered with people that I don't care to share information with and twitter is just a joke.
So I guess I'll start with work. This is the third week back from my month of leave I took and things are finally going well. Apparently the people here went crazy while I was gone trying to figure out my job (even though I felt I had spelled it out pretty well for them before I left). But, whatever. Work is fine. I'm trying to get a second job, and I've only applied to one place so far: Panera Bread. I won't put all my eggs in one basket, but my hope is once I do secure a second job, I will be able to save/spend money for my new medication regimen (not that I can't afford it right now, but I'll just be very secure in all of that if I was to get another job).
Let's see. What else? The MS symptoms have dissipated somewhat. My eyesight in my left eye gets worse with a rise in body-temperature, I've noticed. After I work out or take a hot shower, the sight issue gets increasingly worse; however, it becomes near normal (I say "near" because it never gets back to what it was before the situation in February) in colder settings. The prickling "needle" pain that I was randomly getting in my back and chest has completely gone away, which is so good because that was extreme pain and I can live without ever feeling that again.
The only other symptom that I notice (and perhaps has been the hardest to deal with) is fatigue. The last month or so has been a BIG problem when it comes to this. If I had an energy bar, it would have been on about 5% to 0 within the last few weeks. I have never in my life been so drained of energy. I've never had to just stop what I'm doing in the gym because my body just couldn't keep up. After starting the self-injections, I was hoping that the fatigue would magically go away, but I've since learned that the particular medication I'm taking doesn't actually help symptoms go away. It just helps prevent new attacks.
I finally went to the doctor yesterday about the fatigue and he recommended that I take vitamin D supplements. He also prescribed me Provigil, which is used for people that have narcolepsy. But I guess it's used for chronic fatigue syndrome too. Or something. I dunno. Either way, it works! I can't remember the last time I felt so good. Today, I'm absolutely beaming with energy.
Weight-wise, I hit my goal of 100lbs lost about 2 or so weeks ago. It's a pretty big achievement, and I cannot say that I ate very well over the last weekend, but .. you know what? I can afford it. Because of my energy problem, I didn't do the gym at all last week, but I'm looking forward to getting back into it this week. I pretty much feel good and I feel like I look good too.
I've been a lot more social lately. I think a lot of that has to do with pulling myself out of the rut I was in last August. I generally just enjoy life whenever I'm around people. The MS has made this somewhat hard, but I've often forced myself to be social (like, going out with friends to Badlands or going to a friend's birthday party) when I'd otherwise not feel up to it. It's been healthy for me to do this.
Man, it's taken me all day to finish this entry due to interruptions.
In WoW, I've been taking it extremely easy. I haven't fully gotten back to raiding, though I did raid one day last week and was able to see all of the current content. It felt like I was cheating almost because I wasn't there while my guild was struggling on these encounters. I pretty much had a smooth run through (save any hard modes). I finally got myself to do ZA yesterday. I had only done ZG. I enjoyed both, and my guild is currently doing bear runs (though I haven't been in on any of those yet). Otherwise, I'm leveling a worgen through battlegrounds with a friend. That's been fun.
The show has been going great. We had our first international guest a few weeks ago, and we're gaining UK listeners, which is awesome. I even checked our show's page at the UK version of iTunes and we have a few reviews there. I'm glad my off-beat sense of humor has a home there. Nothing like joking about butt plugs and WoW in a british accent.
In music, I'm in a total white-trash Ke$ha phase. Hey, don't knock it until you tried it. I think she's fun and produces music that's pretty much throw-away silly fun. I find myself humming it at work. In a few years, I'll probably be like "Ke$who?", but right now I like it.
I prefer her over Gaga, anyway. Speaking of, I listened to Gaga's new album yesterday because I at least want to have a leg to stand on if I'm going to continue not liking her. hehe, I kid. The thing I have a problem with is that it's really just okay for an album. Like, not spectacular. I liked Heavy Metal Lover. The album is very over-the-top 80's pop, but I don't know if I'd consider it good 80's pop. I hate the word "epic" because it gets thrown around all the time (especially for this album, I mean, what really makes a song "epic" anyway?), but if I'd have to use it in WoW terms, I'd put it like this:
Madonna's "Express Yourself" = WoW Vanilla AQ 20 Epic Loot
Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" = WoW Cataclysm Grim Batol Heroic quality Loot
Madonna's "Like A Prayer" = WoW Vanilla Epic Naxrammas Loot
Lady Gaga's "Judas" = WoW Wrath of the Lich King Epic Naxxrammas Loot
The thing is, I'm not a die-hard Madonna fan either, but I recognize something when it's unique, and these new songs just aren't, imo. Ooooh, one other thing, and this is really nit-picky, but I have a friend that speaks fluent German (she was partially raised in Germany), and I had her listen to the new song "Sheisse" (which means "Shit" in German). She couldn't make out any of the lyrics and said that they sound "swiss". Also, the symbol for "ss" which looks like "ß" has been "discontinued" according to her, which just makes the name of the song seem even more pretentious than it did before. "Oh, I know, I'm going to call my song 'shit' in German and include a symbol that even Germans don't use and speak Swiss because I'm Mother Monster and people will eat my shit up!!!1"
I say that and I still think it's one of the more tolerable songs on the CD. haha
Btw, she's 25. Everybody calling her "Mother Monster" is creepy. She has yet to even realize her full potential, which is glaringly obvious when I listen to any of Born This Way.
And I've talked about her way too much. I suppose when you don't like something, you talk about it more than if you like it, right? Or maybe I secretly like her and want to come off like I hate her. I doubt that last one, but perhaps if you like her, you'll believe it. haha
Field of [Dashed Hopes and] Dreams|
The guy that I've been "seeing" since February let me know that his feelings for me aren't strong enough to pursue a relationship. I had my suspicions anyway, but nothing stops that initial sting from reading or hearing those words.
Because I've accepted that I'm generally a nice and happy guy and none of those mean evil things that I purported myself to be a few years back when I was in my crazy stage of life, I feel ... well, disappointed, yet I just know that there are bigger things for me in the future. There are new people to meet and grow with. This guy will remain a friend and I doubt much will change in the way we hang out (since it was mostly like friends anyway... long story.. don't feel like writing about it).
Don't let my facetious subject line fool you. Sure, this is blow to my confidence, but I recognize that I'll get over it.
There are things in life that are just too damn important to focus on rather than to dwell on the 'sting'. I know this now.
So what's next?
I have a diagnosis!|
I saw the guy for like 20 minutes, and he's certain that he knows exactly what it is. And, it's something that is generally not treated in the field of ophthalmology, so I'm so glad that I'm making headway on this.
Anyway, the condition is called retrobulbar optic neuritis. What it is is the inflamation of the optic nerve behind the eye. The bad news is that he said it's commonly caused by multiple sclerosis. So, he's recommending that I go to a neurologist and get an MRI to rule MS out.
The best news of the day is that the vision problems I have are reversible and will probably correct itself. He said steroids are often used to make recovery faster (from the vision and pain issues), but that it should start to get better (and it may happen again depending on what is causing it - which is where the neurologist will come in).
So, good news and cautionary news. But answers, nonetheless. Now my doctor is actively setting me up with a neurologist and going to try and get an MRI authorized. So, the future still may be bumpy, but at least I know which direction I need to go.
The Eye Problem|
For almost 2 weeks now (on Saturday), I have been dealing with a major problem in my left eye. I have pain and my vision has been deteriorating. At this point, I'm nearly blind. I can detect movement, I can see flashy colors and silhouettes, but that's it.
I've gone to an ophthalmologist 3 times. He has done several tests. I have had a CT scan which ruled out brain tumors (which is a good thing, I recognize). I've also been on a variety of expensive eye drop medications that are doing nothing that I can tell. After being told "no, this one will take away the pain and clear things up" after every prescription, I've become pretty pessimistic on that matter.
So where is this all leading? Well, I'm going to a retina specialist today. It's the same one that my mom sees about her vision problems that she's had ever since she was hit by the train. I'm hoping that I can be on the right path to a diagnosis. That's all I want at this point. I'm pretty depressed, and I've dealt with so much anxiety, loss of sleep, and an exorbitant amount of pirate jokes. The humor, I don't mind. I'm just scared that this can't be reversed. I just need answers.
I'm at 82 pounds now on the weight loss goal. I checked yesterday. That means I'm just 22 pounds from my goal weight. I can do it! I'm so excited about it.
I just got off the phone with my mom. She asked if I could come up to Yuba City to help my brother and his wife move stuff into their storage because all of their friends have flaked on them. This isn't new. Their friends are not friends. They're "church friends". They say they'll be there for them in their time of need, but when it comes down to it, these people are selfish brats that only look out for themselves. I guess it'd be fine if they were more upfront about it, but they have to hide behind God as if they're saints.
I went on another date with a new guy on Friday. He's... clingy, to say the least. All he does is text me. Non-stop. I'm getting slowly annoyed. He's the kind of guy that uses "hella" in every sentence and doesn't know how to properly decide between the words "good" and "well". I'm no grammar Nazi, but ... well, maybe I am because it bugs the crap out of me. lol
Dating has been interesting. It seems like I get guys that are at ends of either extreme: too clingy, or seemingly apathetic. I need a guy that will call me occasionally, use proper words, and at least show some interest in me so that I can get away from thinking he's too hard to read. Is that so much to ask for? lol I mean, I have my flaws most definitely, but I know what I want and I won't settle.
Anyway, I'm not sure how to shake this guy. I'm being too nice probably, and I'm not a heart-breaker.
He keeps asking me about valentines day: what my plans are, implying that he and I should get together that day. Dude. I don't care about v-day. At least not enough to spend it with him. To me, it's just another day right now. I'm really not bitter or anything when I say that. I guess I just really need that guy to get into the mood to share it with. *shrug*
I'm still optimistic that someday soon, he'll come. Thank god, I'm generally a happy person (lol, though you probably wouldn't know it from this entry).
Posty Posterson and the Postlet of Fire|
My entries are sparse, but I'm still alive and well. I'm pretty sure I'm over the 70 pound mark (weight-loss wise), but I've no proof to support that, so you're just going to have to take my word.
Recently, I lost my grandma within 6 months of losing my other grandma. I got back from going to her funeral in LA yesterday. It was good to see family, but man, it'd be so much better to see them when tragedy doesn't strike.
I've been kind of taking it easy on the dating. I met that guy a few weeks ago, but I don't think he's really my type. I've always been picky in this department, which is okay because I just want to find the right person for me. It's kind of good to just be exploring new avenues with this dating thing. Now that I have more confidence than ever, I've just renewed my desires to go out more and be around people more. This means I've played WoW considerably less. I still enjoy the game and play it whenever I want to, but this year is all about restoring my IRL social self.
Today I had lunch with Irene at Kobe, this awesome sushi place that is near me. We were talking to about miscellaneous stuff when we noticed there was a guy and girl behind us talking about WoW. We started talking about WoW too, and before we knew it, the other people turned around and asked which realm we play on. That was pretty funy. WoW connections.
After that, Irene left and I went to the gym. I've been keeping up my 30 minute cardio sessions on a somewhat daily basis(Had to skip a couple days for the trip to LA this week). It's become a routine, and I've been having thoughts of maybe upgrading to using a few of the weight machines for some muscle toning and possibly paying for a few sessions with a personal trainer. Not sure if I want to do that. The last time I did that I got so burnt out by the gym that I didn't want to go for the longest time.
My lower body gets a little bit more work than my upper body due to the nature of the elliptical machine I use. There is some upper body work that happens, but my legs get the most attention. I could stand to even it out a bit.
Anyway, earlier I went to my sister and brother-in-law's place to watch some movies. We saw Saw 3D ... without the 3D, which I guess they call "Saw: The Final Chapter". It's a guilty pleasure, but I really enjoy the Saw series. I mean, I don't enjoy the blood and guts. Not ever. I just like the story line, as convoluted as it has become over the years. This film had some of the worst acting ever too, so I'd imagine it'd be great to watch with Rifftrax.
After Saw, we watched a much better film, The Social Network. I really enjoyed it. It's a long film, but the way it's edited, it really didn't feel long at all. The acting is superb even in the case of Justin Timberlake. I was just really impressed and wouldn't mind watching it again.
And that brings me to now. I'm ... typing. Nothing more to report.
Stay tuned for many sequels to this entry.
Hrm, I know this is probably TMI|
Forgive me, but I have to say it. My butt looks better than it ever has before. Even better than when I was in my early 20s. I don't know what I did. I guess I'm doing right by going to the gym every day. But damn, I deserve a "Good Asskeeping" award. I'm just saying.
This thing on?|
Since not really using the internet at work that much, I find myself lurking in LJ more than posting.
Anyway, lots has happened. I've lost 69 pounds (yes, that's an accurate number), and I've had such an upswing in the confidence department lately. I just generally feel good and I'm really improving myself every day.
I've been going to the gym for cardio workouts, and I actually enjoy my time there. I never used to enjoy going to the gym, as it always felt like a necessary evil. Now it feels so good.
I went on a date with a guy on Friday, and we had some really good conversation. We went to dinner at some italian place downtown. We ended up talking for a long, long time about misc. stuff. We walked around downtown, had some starbucks and soon after, he took me back to my car. He actually paid for my dinner, which I wasn't expecting (I was actually expecting to pay), so it felt pretty good. We'll go out again and see where things go, I suppose. He's really nice and cute, and he's my age.
Last night, I went to Badlands with some friends, and I had a blast. I mean, there were a lot of crazy people there, but it made things fun. Good to get out, and I plan on doing that more often.
I'm still playing WoW. We're just doing our thing and downing bosses. Currently I'm the best geared resto druid on the server, but I'm sure it will change soon. There are other guilds that are a few bosses ahead of us. I'm enjoying healing more and more with each boss we down, but I still really wish it wasn't so intense on certain fights so I can actually enjoy the encounters more. I'm leveling a mage now. I have never leveled a cloth-wearing toon to level cap before, so I figured what the hell. Mages are pretty fun too. He's a goblin mage named Xtofire. :D
And now to figure out the rest of the day.
[<< Previous 10 entries]