NEW LIVEJOURNAL, PLEASE ADD. FEEL LUCKY IF I ADD YOU, BECAUSE YOU ADDING ME LET'S ME KNOW YOU ACTUALLY READ THIS AND IS WORTHY TO BE A FRIEND ON MY NEW ONE, ASSHOLES.
According to my old lj entries, I quit smoking April 27th, I was one depressed fuck, I went through a lot of guys this past year, and I was one depressed little bitchass whiny whore. Okay, enough. I love life.
I hope to God I see Sean at Rev's tomorrow. I will fucking....I don't know what I'll do, but I'm furious. From what I see, Sean broke our deal/promise to each other. We weren't supposed to drink without each other at all and now I guess he's wasted at Rev's all the time, that's fucking wonderful. I'm glad he's that fucking considerate. I have no idea what is going on with us now, we didn't like officially break up, we guessed at it and threatened to. & I can't talk long enough to him to figure anything out because he gets mad at me the first five minutes we talk and hangs up anyways. Or I end up yelling and haning up on him. Or he's just too fucked up to function so I don't wanna talk to him anyways. I don't know. I'm so fed up, why am I putting up with us. Anyone know the answer? Oh! I do! Because I'm a fucking idiot who thinks she has the ability to change such a moron.
RITA IS FUCKING HOME!!@#$!! IM SO FUCKING HAPPY, JESUS CHRIST. I DIDN'T THINK I'D BE THAT HAPPY TO HEAR HER VOICE!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YES. <33333333333
Errrr, I don't like what's happening. I'm confused. Very much so.
RITA COMES HOME TODAY,RITA COMES HOME TODAY,RITA COMES HOME TODAY!!!
Okay, I got that out of my system.
I went to Brea this weekend, I thought it would be a nice break from everything, but nah. It made me miss my friends and Sean so bad. Yesterday was sean&I's three months, but don't congratulate please, I broke it off with him. I couldn't stand him thinking he could run my life, I love him so much, but I shouldn't. I'm so dumb, I'll probably go back with him, I better not. But I have my best friends to help me keep my head straight. Then my nosy ass step sister decided to dig through my fucking closet and showed my dad two empty beer bottles she found. I hate her. Sean is so confusing, he makes no sense to me anymore. I miss old Sean that would come hang out with everyone and shit, but now he's a little douche and hates EVERYONE. How did he expect me to leave my BEST FUCKING FRIENDS for him?! He's infuckingsane. I'm so over guys, he ruined me, but I'll hold myself together. Sean did help me realize how stubborn and negative I am though. And how big of a worrier I am. And how big of a baby I am. And how I pretty much need atleast some self-esteem. THIS is why I hate boys. Atleast my friends got my back.
I love mine, Jamie's, and Becki's 5-6 a.m. chats about our grandparents and such. "RENAE! HELLLLP ME!" THEN HE JUST FEEL. I love you guys, I will miss you =[ BREA, HERE I FUCKING COME, IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!!! By the way, I hate Sean.
Let's see, I'm going to Brea Thursday because my great grandma died, first person I've ever known to die so that pretty much sucks. Me and my mom haven't been getting along. I've been sitting at my house not leaving at all the past four days. I want to punch somebody in the fucking face because I hate sitting here, It's like a prison and I'm going fucking nuts. It's cool, don't rush to hang out with me even though I'll be gone for five days, s'all good. Bye