_who_r_u_ (_who_r_u_) wrote,
_who_r_u_
_who_r_u_

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need some good news. nothing in particular, anything really
an email, a letter, a friend.
anything
something that will let me know that someone cares.
ive been in kind of a daze this last week.read 2 books; go ask alice...crank(actually read cran almost 2 months ago...4got to tell about it so said something this time).
they were both pretty depressing, didnt help my situation.
went to my brothers birthday party,lady named...ashley thought i was 16 and asked if i was thinking about applying 4 a job at the bowling alley... i said"im only 13"
she said"really?i thought u were 16"so yah
got a new hair cut...dont like it that much
im in the mood for a life changing experience, but i guess they never come when u need them, instead at random, unexpected times...especially the times when you fear them most.
i want to slit my wrists
i know it wont stop the pain
or make it go away
just white out the darkest hour 4 a while
mask the imperfections for a single second
and i dont want that, i want them gone.
i remember when i was little i used to pray every night.
release my demons
capture the nighttime worries
ive drifted of so far since then though
so far i dont think theyre is any returning
sometimes i wish i could go back to then
but then i remember i was only 6...maybe7
why
am
i
so
hated
???
i
really
don't
know

if anyone happens to know...plez keep me informed.
im confused and scared
i know no one reads this journal
and i must admit i really dont care
when i think about it mostly im just scared of myself
who im becoming
the direction in which im going
whats going to happen to me
why am i thinking so much
ME CONTRADICTING MYSELF
personality #1__vs__personality #2

#1)my life sux


#2) think of starving kids
in scandinavia and people
with aids in
africa...compared to them
your life is, like just lovely


#1)im groping for a
meaning in life


#2) GAH, michelle stop being so deep and philosophical


#1)#@!$ you mind


#2) stop cussing just cause you think it makes u normal (i.e.it doesnt)


#1)sorry


#2) stop being such a pity case


#1)cant help it


#2) there u go again


#1)arg,i hate me


#2) eww, u really need to stop
spewing your feelings,
and such all
over people...no one cares


#1)i know, but
sometimes i wish
they did
_______________________________
bye
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    I suck at this. fuck it. i give up on Lj

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