I haven't updated in a long time. Other then the whole comatose bestfriend thing nothing new has really happened. I don't want to write about the bff in a coma right now, I really want to avoid the subject. So I guess I have nothing to write.
I'm bored.....that is why i am updating again.I really am curious to find out why people always end up hating me. If you hate me please tell me why.Am I just mean, Annoying, bitter? Ok I know I said I wasnt going to say any thing about bff thing but my mind has changed. If you dont already know on Wednesday I got a call from his sister. She was crying. She said he tryed to kill himself and was on life support (he is not any more). Here is a list of some of the thoughts that were running through my head
1.oh my god
3.how did he do it?
4.What if he ends up like my cousin(brain dead)
5.what if he is a vegetable all his life
6.Why did he do it
7.what was he thinking when he did it
8.was he thinking when he did it
9.did he regret it after he did it
10.don't cry don't cry don't cry!
11.what are his parents thinking right now
12.don't cry it will make his sister cry again
13.I hate this song(sterio was on...I actually loved that song)
14.when did he do it
15.what if he dies?
16.could I live without him?
17.why didnt they just pump his stomach
18.thats so unfair that works most of the time
19.is this really happening?
20.ok I can cry now
Come to find out he took someting(unknown)slit his wrist(alot of blood loss)
his parents found him when they went to wake him up for school(which means he probubly did it in the middle of the night)he was unconcious when they found him(I cant even imagine what they felt)they pumped his stomach it helped but it didnt fix the damage that was already done(Some of it had already gotten into his blood stream)the doctors said that they will do all they can(but they had no clue on what the outcome would be)this would be a great time to be religious(maybe if I pray a miricle will happen)Actually it wouldn't cause if I was and he died then the Bible sais he would go to hell(I don't know what to believe anymore)I wish I could have been there even though it probubly wouldn't help anyting(but at least If he died id get to see him one last time...wow I am so selfish)
I really should be thinking about happy things to keep my mind occupied
he is off life support but in a coma
I need to stop now cause Im getting myself all worked up...again