vibe @ flavuh

(no subject)

it's my turn now.


So I could definately sit here and type what went on with my best friend today, but I'm going to be the better person in the situation, & keep it to myself. (Plus, Lindsay seems to already have taken care of that in her journal). Hmm, it's also pretty interesting how she only says her side of the deal. There's two sides to every story.

Everything get's out of hand when it shouldn't be, & things get turned out to be what they really aren't. If everyone just minded their own business, kept their mouths shut & left everyone else alone, half the shit that goes on all the time wouldn't happen.

I have completely lost trust for everyone. Last year was so fine. everything was fine. But this year has fucking drama written all over it. And it's the most ridiculous thing, because when there's something going on, wouldn't you think: 1- talk to the person about it, 2-problem solved. Hmm, guess not. Why does everything need to be brought out to be such a big deal, & why is there the need to get everyone else involved in something thats no one else's business. Why play the middle school game?

I'm over it. It's done. Just don't come back & say you're sorry, cause sorry can only go so far.
vibe @ flavuh

(no subject)

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I'm not okay. ♥


I don't know what to do, I can't keep lying to myself. I'm not going to go around pretending I don't care, when it's all I think about. without you all I'm going to be is... incomplete

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How could this happen to me?

When things are finally looking up for me, it all comes crumbling down again... in just one moment of your essence. It's you who's made me lose my trust in my closest friends, it's you who's made me feel like I'm worthless.

I dont wanna run away, but I don't understand... I hate feeling so confused. =/
  • Current Music
    "if you're not the one"
vibe @ flavuh

How this felt months ago...

So last night we went to Graziano's Retaurant for dinner. WOW. It was so nice & elegant. They had valet parking & if everyone wasn't there on time, you would lose your reservation. Inside was so pretty, they had dimmed lights & right when you walk in, there was a fire with some of the meat hanging over it, in a glass window. It looked awesome. It was by far, the nicest retaurant I've been too. The bill ended up being $500. & my aunt spilled wine all over my cousin's new shirt & Air Force One's, so he was pretty pissed, but it was hysterical. LOL. My parents were deciding whether to drive back yesterday, or this morning. But we ended up coming back last night. I talked to Ryan, Linds & Logan on the phone most of the way here, then slept the rest of the way home. The sky was so pretty last night. I was looking up at the stars & with all the lights of the city, and the cars, it was so pretty. So I got home, and went straight to bed, I was so exhausted. So I stayed home from school today. I'm going to lay out in the sun for a bit, then unpack all my stuff & do my homework that was due today. Then I'll def. be taking a nap. :) Well, here are the pics I promised from my cousin's birthday party @ Chuck-E-Cheese.

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vibe @ flavuh

Happy Mothers Day! ♥

So last night, got to Miami.. chilled at my grandparents house for a bit & I got pretty upset that my cousin was going to be at work all weekend, so he wouldn't be able to take me out anywhere. Hmph. So went to my little cousin's birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese but I was really bored, so me & my mom went shopping! :) Bought some new shirts & a pair of jeans. They're so hot. ♥ Well now I'm getting ready to go out to eat, so pics from last night are coming soon.

vibe @ flavuh

I'm gunna be alright tonight.

So, I decided to just take tonight for myself. Since tomorrow I'm leaving for Miami, I just wanna hang out at home tonight, think about everything going on, talk to some people & just chill. So tomorrow morning, going to my sister's soccer game, then we're off to Miami for the weekend. I'm kind of excited, even though I ususally dread going. But let's see... tomorrow's my little cousin's birthday. :) Aww, I love him. He's so cute. I'm excited to see him. & my older cousin, Chris just turned 18.. so that's pretty exciting! LOL. & I wanna meet Matt, because I've been talking to him for at least a year now & we haven't met yet. So we'll see how that goes. Then Sunday- Mother's Day! I love my mommy. hehe :)

So I had a little fun with the camera...
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vibe @ flavuh

You were my destiny.

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Empty places fill me up with holes.


I'm getting so addicted to MySpace. I love meeting new people & getting to know them & all. :) So fun. Well I've been feeling really good about myself in school lately, I've really been trying & I even talked to one of my teachers yesterday about my class next year & today she pulled me aside after class & said, "Vanessa, it meant a lot to me everything you said yesterday, It feels great to hear that. So thank you. & if you get your schedule in August & you don't have this class, then come see me & I'll change it." I was so happy, because I really, really want to be in there & prove that I can really put forth my best effort & do a good job.
So Ash & me were going to go to the fashion show tonight @ school, but we decided we're probably not. So Linds is most likely spending the night tonight & tomorrow I'm going to MIAMI- we durrty! haha. ;)
So me & Ash def. had some fun taking some pics at lunch today with my cam! *ahem!* hahaha. we're so sneaky. So what's everyone doing this weekend? Let me know! :)
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    giggly giggly
vibe @ flavuh

(no subject)

I am swimming in an ocean all alone
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Today was a crappy day. It was so dark outside all day, but it hasn't rained, yet. So I definately loved the comments I received today. It's pretty sad that even when you've moved on, everyone else is still stuck on what you've done in the past, which is none of their business in the first place.
get the fuck over it mmkay? thanks. </b>


& whats worse? not being able to trust anyone around you who you really thought you could. It hurts when you think you can confide in someone a lot of personal things, but you come to find that you were wrong. But you know what? WHATEVER.
I honestly don't care anymore. I guess from now on, I'll just start keeping things to myself ( & the ones I actually know I can trust ). Other than that, no one should be involved in MY business, when it has nothing to do with them.

It really aggravates when I hear things like, "A lot of people would just wanna do stuff with you, but not go out." I don't want to be taken advantage of. I don't want people to be attracted to me for my body or looks. I want them to take the time to get to know ME & like me for who I truly am. Is that too much to ask?
  • Current Music
    "Oh" Ciara
vibe @ flavuh

(no subject)

I still wonder if we've made a mistake

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Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete




I guess I really am rising above all that I was suffering from two weeks ago, but there are moments when I feel it all come back to me again, even for just a second. I can really say though, that I've become a lot stronger that I've realized how strong I AM. It's amazing. I've tried to let go of everything that brought me down, of all the negativity. I had been letting everything around me get out of hand, & it's time I get in control of my life again. I'm going to focus on my grades more, because I really haven't been putting any effort into anything at school lately. & I've even found someone new. ;) It feels great. I'm going to start living each day for ME. ♥