look at my myspace. its super fucking cute. www.myspace.com/jessleighhefner

if youre not on my friends, add it

oh, by the way... its never a good idea to read past journal entries. EVER.

my chest is pounding. ill post pictures of my chest and the wedding soon, it was GORGEOUS

HAHAHAHAHA seriously?

If you go to google, and type in "how to be" without pressing enter, the number one search on the dropbox is "how to become a vampire"

I mean, I love Twilight just as much as the next vag, but really? How to become a VAMPIRE? apparently twilight crazed teens are trying to turn this shit into reality...

fuck the twillight craze.

i mean it this time.

im sorry for everything ive ever done to anyone, but there's a few i really mean it to. i could never understand that there were people that actually cared, i always thought they wanted something, or were using me to get to someone or something else. it never registered that there were people that cared about ME and MY well being. for the longest time it was people wanting to know me because of who im friends with, or what my "daddys money" could get them. it was fucked up. i admit i fucked up now, im not placing blame on anyone else. i stood back and watched friends treat other friends of mine like shit, and i hate it.

i would rather have a few real friends than put up with this fake status friend bullshit.

on another note, you'll probably think im not over you when i say this. Ill admit, no im not over you as a person. im not trying to jump your dick, and im not doing i love yous and shit, because that im over. but as a PERSON, youre wonderful. i miss it. i wish we would have been able to stay friends. and i hope you understand that i want you part of my life, as a FRIEND. it sucks the way shit had to happen, and you did things to hurt me too... but im mannin' up and apologizing. please acknowledge it, and please dont forget that even though we've both moved on, theres two songs that will ALWAYS mean something to me.... Wonderwall, and...

Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as her body once did.
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn

Ooh, and all I taught her was everything
Ooh, I know she gave me all that she wore
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything.
Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head
I'm spinning, oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can drop away

And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything?
All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be... yeah...
Uh huh... uh huh... ooh...

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, can't it be mine

im asking you for forgivness, and friendship. a legit friendship. i wont pull any stops or games, because thats the old me, and im proud of the new me and i think you would be too. all the hopes and dreams we would lay and talk about are starting to come true for me, and it sucks that i cant have the person that made me realize what i wanted in my life. im ending this, because im practically in tears.

Friends Only



and i screen the comments. they will not be seen.