Me // #1

Never have I..

I dont think I have ever been so happy to see someone.
While Jessica and I were walking through Chandler Mall..
I suddenly stoped in my tracks and so did she.

Holly Pappas. My ultimate bestfriend from Kindergarden up to 9th grade.
We lost touch ever since I moved out to damn gilbert.

She let go of her boyfriends hands and just ran to me and we both started to cry.
I have never felt so much weight lifted off my shoulders.
I was speechless.

Holly wasnt any normal "friend'.
She was my BESTFRIEND, family.

We were unseperable. Never faught. Understood eachother and could read eachothers minds.
We talked for literlly 10 mins and just couldnt help but so exicted to see eachother.
We couldn't stop huging eachother & Crying.

Ever sence Coleman (Her boyfriend), pasts away.
I havent heard from her nor, has she heard from me.

Shes got a nose peircing and a tattoo.. on her hip.
She was surprised to see that "dad" as she calls him would let me. Lol.

As we walked away from eachother.
We exchanged numbers and she wants me to come out tonight.
I would do anything for her. I love her with all of my heart.

As we walked away from eachother, I wanted to cry some more.
But, I had to keep them inside. I wasnt sad, I was so happy to see her.

I kick myself for ever loosing touch with her.
For once, I felt complete.
  • Current Music
    Korn // Counting on me.
Me // #1

(no subject)

Can't sleep anymore.
Thoughts of you overlap me.

Seeing you everyday, I loose control.
Your touch comes around ever so often.
Each time its cherished.

Why can't I speak to you ...
Why can't I tell you I LOVE YOU
You wouldn't believe it..


you always amazed me
but thats the past
i kept silent and it rained for days
my inside were drenched
but i guess that's the part of growing up
i never wanted to learn
and i grew into the man
that you never knew
but i wouldn't be this way
if it wasn't for you
100 thank you's
it this is love
fairy tales never came true
judies are black in full bloom
and i died in the womb
take it back, all that's gone
it's all still there like you left it
december stayed the same
nothing ever changed but you
every dream civered in dents
love can't fly tonight
couples will rest, i'll be sleepless
so cry yourself to sleep
this is about broken hearts
this is about me
bending again for nothing
i'd run to you but pain awaits
i'm coming home
but i'll be late
no deeper than imagination can be
sight with nothing to see
what's faith if i can't believe
it's everything
a cure, but i make it a disease
Flawed Icon.

as we share this nightmare together.

Why must I hold on to you when theres nothing left.
I'd give everything to you if you asked me too.
I do love you with all of my heart if you already dont know that.
I just dont know what to do.

I need you.
  • Current Music
    Silence and I cant take it.
Flawed Icon.

BEAUTIFUL SONG....

you always amazed me
but thats the past
i kept silent and it rained for days
my inside were drenched
but i guess that's the part of growing up
i never wanted to learn
and i grew into the man
that you never knew
but i wouldn't be this way
if it wasn't for you
100 thank you's
it this is love
fairy tales never came true
judies are black in full bloom
and i died in the womb
take it back, all that's gone
it's all still there like you left it
december stayed the same
nothing ever changed but you
every dream civered in dents
love can't fly tonight
couples will rest, i'll be sleepless
so cry yourself to sleep
this is about broken hearts
this is about me
bending again for nothing
i'd run to you but pain awaits
i'm coming home
but i'll be late
no deeper than imagination can be
sight with nothing to see
what's faith if i can't believe
it's everything
a cure, but i make it a disease
God take me because i hate me

-- Underoath / Alone in Decemeber.
  • Current Music
    Underoath // Alone in decemeber.
Crazy Bitch// Kill Bill

Run your hands through my hair.. once again.. let me feel your body linger all over me..

in my mind you never left
falling wasn't true
i had faith you flew past the sky
straight through the night
and the sun reflects the night
carrying the very same thing
in your heart that saved me
but maybe you've stopped listening
falling on my selfish ways
it takes faith to see
so close your eyes and search
deeper than just memories
i never stopped believing in you and me
your leaving never changed things
i've been here for too long
to just walk away
  • Current Music
    Underoath
Flawed Icon.

Fuck. Me.

I'm on my lunch break.
I dont go back to work until 8:00.

I think things are ending.
I'm scared and lost and everything is a blur.
There is still a tiny little bit of light holding out for me though.
I'll fallow that as long as I can.

I would literally rip my heart out.. just to feel
I wonder what happend to those feelings we had when we were kids.
Nothing affected us and never cared about anything.

Why did we have to grow up to be cold hearted people. All of us.

I've learned love can destroy.
Romance in misery. For some.
As for me, I got the short stick of the stack.
I was the one picked for bad luck or persay' fraud " love "

I've had my good times, and bad.
I hold on to the good and leave the bad.
Bad Choice.

My heart is pounding in my head a millions miles per second.
I feel shakey and I can begin to feel myself drop to my knees.

I have become weak.
  • Current Music
    Korn // brick in the wall
Flawed Icon.

Plan A.

So, My cousin and I are talking about moving in with eachother.
We've been talking about it for 2 straight hours now.
I mentioned that my goal is to be out.

We came to the conclusion after highschool we're going to go looking at houses or apts.
It's going to be in Tempe. Thats where we both want to be.
It's close to my beauty school I will attending. On Mill Aven.

I am starting to save up all of my money.
No more starbucks. No more going out so much. No more eating out.
Cut down on Cigg's. Only take out of my paycheck for car insurance,phone,gas,groceries.

After highschool, I will be having a full time job. Or, work two jobs.
He wants to move in middle of July.
The payments each month for a house we are looking for will be $400 each person.
He want's some of his friend like 2 to move in. So get a pretty decent size house.

I am really excited yet, kind of scared.
We're going to have a meeting with my parents.
We'll see how this all goes.

Just had to update that. <3
  • Current Music
    The Used // Take it away