Me // #1

for you my darlin. i wait for the day we hold eachother

Soon as you came in all the beast went away.
They noticed that you're warm wait till you leave then come back for more...
The ropes hang to keep us all awake and I should have known.
As soon as you came in the agony it went away
I noticed what you wore to everything we spoke and more...
And the ropes hang to keep us all awake and I should have known.
It only takes one break of your pose to get off
To save our place...home with you...still the same song....
As soon as you came in is when I believe we both crashed course
And the ropes hang to keep us all awake and I should have known.
It only takes one break of a pose to get off
And to save our place home with you all
That's all it takes?
Well I should have known, it's still the same song.
  • Current Music
    Deftones
Me // #1

I just dont get it.

Why must people be so cruel in highschool. Esspecaily the ones you who think are your friends. Obviously not. I am not here to rant and rave on how people talk shit and blah blah blah. Everyone does it but its not right when your friends do about you.

Today, David had mentiond to me a couple of things being passed through the grape vine about me. Apparently Codi had no clue that it would all come right back to me. You see, Codi and I were "friends" yesterday and totally cool. Now today she is calling me a bitch. I am simply not going to waist my time trying to ask her "WHY" she must enjoy calling me a bitch. Immmature. See, I love this girl to death but it seems like shes got alot of shit to say and seems to me she doesnt really say the story straight. She is probably one of the most coolest people i've met except for the fact she is calling me a bitch for no apparent reasons what so ever. Whatever though, whatever makes her feel good.

Enough of that. Few.

Today after school I am going to the mall to get my charger.. Anyone want to join. I have no plans for tonight and that SUCKS. Well ya see, I was supposed to hang out with Bree but.. thats off. We havent spoke to me and she gives me dirty ass looks which pisses me off. Its annoying. Whatever here we go again. Rawr. OK. I am done. Enough.

<3
Flawed Icon.

Mommie. I miss you.

Things have been so hard lately with out you here.
I cant bare the thought of you and I not speaking to eachother.
It's been 2 weeks and I can't stand it.
I feel torn inside.
Hiding it all behind this smile I must put on each day.
Yet, behind it you will find a broken girl who is lost.

I hate the way I feel tonight.
Each day that goes by, I hope to hear my phone ring.
It does.. But, its not you, mom.

I have so much anger built up but I can't begin to dwell on that.
Yet, I can't stand here and be all happy.
I am guessing you are pretty content.

You left me once before mom.
Look, You did it again.
I am sure you are pretty content too..
  • Current Music
    12 Stones // The way I feel.
Me // #1

Stupid Bitch.

I havent had drama with anyone in this journal until now. I hate this bitch. She got my sister ( Bree ).. Dresscoded and sent to the office. Stupid bitch.

Ok, Im done.
Me // #1

Dont make it hurt.

There are the times where you and I have stood on all the streets
faith is what brought us here
We have been here, there, everywhere before.. How could I ever forget.

Unforgotten words are a trial I must partake on
you've given up all hope

You left on that cold december night. Leave me in the winters wind. Blowing with full on force.
Your leaving without a memo

Your love was always like that wind, I can feel it but I cannot see it.

These are the times where I need to walk away. You left before me.

Help me for I am drowning.
drowing into the abyss of your arms

May you remind me of how weak my writing has become. May you say that I was better and strong then that. Well hear you are my love, my darling.. Something that is so real, and so pure. Comming straight from the honest god AWFUL truth.
Me // #1

just. saw . you.

I am in Mr. W's room being a AIDE for the fart.
I am talking to him about somethings that I have been meaning to get off my chest.

He seems to just sit back and listen and watch me pour out my heart and everything I have in it.
He understands that life isnt as simple as we percieve for it to be. He knows all, thats what I say.

He's my Jew/Dad. I dont think I have ever been so close with an adult.

I wish at times we could see the future. Therefor I would have some typ of closure. "Dare: I dare you to look me straight in the eyes and tell me you dont need me anymore or yet better, tell me to stop loving you", Theres your dare. Now, its your turn.

I've always asked why certain things happen and why we dont have answers to the questions that are asked. I've always been the one to misunderstand the meaning of love, friendships, family, etc..

You begin to get down on yourself because you tend to notice that finally when you are fighting and trying for something you honestly want, and you know its good. It's simply just to late to ask for a second chance.

Oh, How I wish highschool would be over. Yet, I dont want to leave either. I dont want to stop seeing people who I am close to and love. I am shatterd to know that May 26th. We're all going to part, Dont tell me other.

I am excited to be "free", yet. It's the real world. Time to pay up, and offer all that you have. If you havent already.

Life, that is. Not love. Love is just a murderer with a golden gun. We all play the same game. At times more then others. You ask yourself.. " Where do I go from here ". I am sorry I cannot be of any use to that answer because myself has asked the same.

I just saw you. This morning and right as we speak. Uh, I've got to go. Egg Roll time.
  • Current Music
    Mr. W.
Flawed Icon.

(no subject)

Never knew how much pain the truth and a couple words could cause.
Wasnt his fault just, the truth.

I knew this was comming and I should have prepared.
Yet, I can't stop loving.

" what a quality about yourself that you hate "
.. Not being able to stop loving you ..

Whats yours.
  • Current Music
    Damien Rice - The Blewers Daughter