somewhere i have never travelled

I was meaning to post for a while about how, for once, actually, stuff is going pretty well for me and I am feeling sort of almost kinda well-adjusted. But I guess it is easier or more tempting to come and write a big angsty entry than to brag about everything coming up Milhouse, so I resisted. But yes, the short version is that the Canadian election happened, everything turned out better than I expected, and my upswing in relief and happiness from that eventually translated into a broader sense of well-being. I don't think the election is the sole factor, but it was a huge moment for me as the first time in my adult life I've had any reason to be remotely proud of Canada outside of hockey games. I'm working federally again too and the shift in environment at work is really interesting to witness. It's a slow transition I think for certain upper-management types to adjust to the marching orders of a new, very different government, but the changes are good. It remains pleasantly baffling to have a prime minister whom I not only don't want to strangle but actively like -- who even knew that was possible. I could honestly talk about this for days, but suffice to say I'm incredibly grateful to see Canada heading in a new direction for 2016.

Anyway, the new era of political optimism in Canada ushered in with it an era of general optimism for me. I like my job, and I'm going to be working full-time in 2016 (although it's still a one-year contract, so... watch out for the return of the depressed posts in 2017). I got assigned the National Inquiry into Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women file at work, which was hugely thrilling to me both because it's a big step professionally but also because it's a cause I find politically and personally very meaningful. I still miss the friends who have moved away, but working has allowed me to make some new friends. I've had two weeks off for Christmas between contracts, and while the first week off was quite nice, I found myself backsliding a bit during this second week which makes me confront the reality that I like the routine and the sense of purpose.

Probably the least-satisfied part of my life rn is the fandom side, because I've been sort of fandom homeless for a while now, with my interest in Doctor Who finally waning in the face of years of Extreme and Endless Moffating, and nothing stepping up to fill the void. Granted, if I had to pick between personal and career satisfaction vs fandom satisfaction, I'd pick the former, but it'd still be nice to be really excited about something again. Ah well. Maybe soon.

In short, while the beginning of 2015 was very rough, the end of 2015 was among the happiest I'd been in ...frankly, quite a few years. I hope 2016 continues on in the same vein.

I filled out both the obligatory end of year memes on Tumblr and I'll post them here as well, for posterity!

1. Your main fandom of the year: I DON’T HAVE ONE. WHO AM I. WHERE AM I. WHAT IS IT TO HAVE AN INTEREST THAT SUSTAINS LONGER THAN 3 MONTHS. I DON’T LIKE IT.

2. Your favorite film this year: Well favourite movie overall was probably Inside Out but The Force Awakens has provided me like… four whole days of fandom entertainment…

3. Your favorite book this year: Serving the Prime Minister

4. Your favorite album or song this year: Adele’s 25 or the Hamilton OCR (ugh)

5. Your favorite TV show this year: JESSICA JONESSSS

6. Your favorite LJ community Tumblr this year: Uhhhhh this is hard because of the aforementioned fandom homelessness, and also Tumblr becoming an echo chamber.

7. Your best new fandom discovery of the year: Jessica Jones! Alias is the first comic series I’ve ever read in its entirety and the TV show was everything I wanted and more.

8. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year: I’m not sure if I can count Doctor Who because I expect nothing and I’m still let down. I guess I’m disappointed that I don’t care more about DW? I was vaguely disappointed that the HP play is about Albus Severus and the Mid-Life Crisis because that’s not what I would’ve chosen.

9. Your TV boyfriend of the year: Matt Murdock!

10. Your TV girlfriend of the year: JESSICA JONESSS

11. Your biggest squee moment of the year: Like everything about Jessica Jones happening. I was super pumped about the Broadchurch s3 announcement as well, can’t wait to watch it in 2020. Also getting tickets to Albus Severus and The Mid-Life Crisis was exciting too.

12. Your most missed old fandom: I miss loving Doctor Who but it has been a long time. RIP.

13. Your fandom you haven’t tried yet, but want to? Not really. I MEAN I need a new fandom home but IDFK what it will be, I am picky and elusive.

14. Your biggest anticipation of the New Year: In some ways (trip!! friends! new HP canon???) Albus Severus and the Mid-Life Crisis. Other than that I’m… not sure? I’m excited for Broadchurch s3 but lmao that might not be until 2017 because Britain is ridiculous, and likewise who tf knows when Defenders will exist, etc. The Luke Cage show maybe? SENSE8 SEASON 2? TEN/DONNA BIG FINISH AUDIOS?


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Happy new year to anyone who's still out there. I hope 2016 is good to us all.

Everything else in my internet life is in a major throwback mode rn (I'll get to that in a minute), so I suppose it is only natural to also feel like visiting the ghost town that is livejournal. I do miss you, lj! Tumblr is the least social social media platform I have ever seen. I don't understand why fandom migrated to a website that doesn't even have a competent private messaging system. I want to take this up with the Council of Elders.

Anyway, I know it's been eons since I updated and I'm sure all 3 of you are on pins and needles, so my last year-ish in review:

Real life:
1. I think probably my most recent entries were whining about how everyone was moving away. So, that happened. It sucks. More and more the universe seems to be suggesting I move to Toronto, which is not actually something I really want to do, but not doing it increasingly feels like Macbeth trying to ignore prophecy, so, I don't know. Pretty much all my closest friends have wound up there, or are planning to wind up there in the next year or so.

2. I changed jobs. I started looking in January/Februaryish, interviewed for a position I really really wanted, did not get it, and the morning I got the rejection email and had big plans like "cry a lot", a friend from university texted me to tell me about a position in her department. I'm on casual contract, working 3 (soon to be 4) days a week, no benefits, and it's only a short-term contract for a short-term project (aimed to be finished by December 2016, though I'll likely be done before then), so it's not really The Dream, but it is a significant pay increase not to mention significant stability increase (for the time being), I like the work well enough (I'm a web writer), and I like my team. I wish it had a sense of permanence to it, because gosh golly would it be nice to be able to plan any fucking thing in my life ever more than 6 months in advance, but, y'know. ~Millennials~. In the meantime though I can't complain too much. Check back this time next year when my contract has expired.

3. Somewhat related since I'm working federally again, Canadian politics is a hot ass mess right now. I'm not sure which party I will vote for in October, but I sure know which party I won't be voting for. Contemplating a world where Harper wins yet another election is truly terrifying, and it is utterly baffling to me that this is even a remote possibility. If there is a God, the CPC will be decimated this election the way the Liberals were last election.

4. I started playing floor hockey. Sports??? Me??? Really? It is fun, although I am not very good. Most of my team is not very good either, so it works out, lmao.

Internet life:
1. Doctor Who starts on Saturday and I have never been less interested, womp womp. I think I would have been more interested if we had a new companion, but as much as I once liked Clara, 3 years of her is too much, especially after s8 gave her, like, four different wonderful exit points. It will be truly remarkable and sort of sad if what finally drives me away from DW fandom is not anything dramatically enraging like the 50th or River Song's life, but rather the sheer mediocrity of 5 years of Moffat with no end in sight, but here we are. Not with a bang but a whimper, and all.

2. The result of #1 is that I have been sort of fandom homeless for a while. I don't like being fandom homeless, because fictional escapism is my fave coping mechanism, so it's a restless feeling. I did briefly foray into Broadchurch fandom when s2 was airing -- I even wrote some fic (???!!) -- but a show that airs every other year with 8 episodes isn't very sustainable, fandom-wise. Can't w8 for s3 to come out in five billion years.

3. I've watched and enjoyed a few TV shows this year, although none in a "give me all the fic you have" way: Orphan Black continues to be one of my fave shows ever. Sense8 was wonderful, probably my favourite new show of 2015 so far, and I'm super relieved it got renewed. I watched Don't Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23 five years later and it was hysterical, R I P. I've got one episode left to watch of Humans, which is also great scifi. Daredevil I was shockingly into, as someone who wanted essentially nothing to do with Daredevil up until the point I watched it and developed a massive crush on Matt Murdock.

4. I'm also mega hyped for Jessica Jones, which at this point reads like a laundry list of my fave things, including but not limited to a female lead, a female superhero (!!!), a dark-n-gritty female superhero lead with PTSD who insists she isn't a hero but keeps doing heroic things anyway, a psychological thriller, Claire Temple, Krysten Ritter, and David Tennant. I bought the Alias omnibus about a month ago with a gift certificate, making it the first comic series I've ever read, and it was awesome. I can't wait. Jessica Jones is such a good character. The cast is gonna kill it. Eventually I'm gonna get to see love of my life Jessica Jones interact with love of my life Matt Murdock. Praise be to Netflix.

5. Aside from the Jessica Jones anticipation though, I started rereading Harry Potter, and I have completely relapsed into Harry Potter. Spoiler alert: I fuckin love Harry Potter. I had thought, when I started rereading -- since this is the first time I've read any of the books in about 5 years -- that perhaps my tastes would have changed and I'd find myself feeling differently about things and characters etc. Wrong!!!! My taste has always been amazing, Lily/James otp 4ever, etc. I'm 12 pages into a new Lily/James fic, in the year of our lord 2015. I will probably write more fic after I finish this one. What a time to be alive. I finished Prisoner of Azkaban (my faaaave) a few weeks ago and have been waiting to start GOF after I finish this fic. The most disturbing part about rereading is how old I now realize I am in comparison to these children. Harry & co are tiny babies! Lily and James get married, have babies and die before they are as old as I am! I'm older than the Cool Adults like Bill and Tonks! I'm so old my teacher crush on Remus Lupin is now just a regular crush! But anyway, it's been fun, I love Harry Potter, I wanna go see this mysterious play next summer, etc.

6. This was the summer of cons for me, since after seeing David Tennant and Billie Piper at Wizard World Philadelphia I ended up going to Montreal CC with goldy_dollar, shinyopals and lacunaz, where we saw Billie Piper, Karen Gillan, Caitlin Blackwood and Eve Myles. It was pretty cool -- I got to ask Eve Myles a question about Broadchurch, got a photo with Karen who is a doll, and we got an amazing group shot with Billie lmao. It was fun! Only Freema Agyeman remains on my gotta-catch-em-all Doctor Who cast list.

I've done the same end of year meme every year since like 2010 or so, and yet when I went to find it I had to go back to 2011 because I guess I did it on Tumblr in recent years and Tumblr makes it impossible to find anything ever. So for posterity, here's my 2014 meme.



1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?
Ummm. Got my full license? Swam in the Mediterranean? OH! Ran 6k :)

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for the next year?
I don’t do resolutions, that way leads disappointment.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope. I don’t know anyone even in the vicinity of being pregnant, actually.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit?
England and France were the big’uns although I was also in the US briefly a couple times.

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
Don’t even get me started, meme. A real job. Direction. Certainty. Confidence.
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Otherwise not much is new with me. I don't post here because it's a ghost town and also because if I did it would be the same fucking post I've been making for three fucking years about how I have no purpose in life and blah blah blah quarterlife depression. At least on Tumblr I can break that up with a lot of pictures of David Tennant.

• My paid account expires soon, which is super weird? I've had a paid account for so long, it feels almost traitorous to not have one. AND MY BLESSED ICONS. On the other hand, I'm not really making enough right now to justify the expense, especially with LJ so quiet. Oh LJ. I miss your heyday. So naturally this made me want to update lj!
  
• Life is pretty okay. I like work, mostly, although I need more hours, but at least I have some kind of purpose and the company is really cool. It's interesting working for such a small company because all my previous jobs were with quite big organizations. We went go-karting a couple weeks ago! The CEO drove me home!
  
• I've also been driving more and have become much more comfortable with the highway et al. Of course, this is just in time for it to start snowing and totally fuck with my life anyway.
  
• On the 13th I'm going to one of those "live" (except, uh, not) screenings of Richard II, with goldy_dollar and a couple other assorted people. I've never gone to see one of these play/theatre broadcasts so that should be interesting. I also need to brush up on my Richard II because at present I have basically no recollection of the play at all, despite studying it. Woops.
  
• The 16th is my friend's birthday and I think we're going to a spa? Which... I'm actually not super thrilled about because I'm not a spa person, but it should still be pretty fun. I am more looking forward to the "hang out afterwards with food and wine" part.
  
• On the 18th I'm seeing Eddie Izzard with a friend. He's been in town before and I missed him so I'm glad we were on top of things this time. Live comedy is so great and Eddie Izzard is so great, I'm pretty pumped.
  
• And then the 23rd is of course the infamous 50th anniversary. Since goldy_dollar has RUTHLESSLY ABANDONED ME in favour of being a lawyer, I'm going with two university friends to the 3D screening here on the Saturday. I was a bit skeptical about spending money on something that is available for free and will likely not be great, but on the other hand I really like seeing things in big busy theatres, so I'm hoping the general air of excitement and fun will help make the whole thing a better experience for me. So I'm excited, more for the experience of seeing two people I haven't seen in ages and being in a big chattering crowd than anything else. Prayer circle the ep doesn't suck as hard as it could.
  
• And at some as-yet-undisclosed date... S2 OF THE WALKING DEAD GAME.
  
  THE MOST ANTICIPATED MEDIA-RELATED EVENT IN MY 2013 LIFE. WHAT DO I NORMALLY DO WITH MY HANDS, SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, OH MY DARLING CLEMENTINE
  
  If you haven't played The Walking Dead Game I 100% recommend it and it is far more of a storytelling experience than a... zombie action game experience. AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR S2, COME TO MEEEEEE

We're leaving bright and inexplicably early tomorrow to go visit family for Christmas, so I won't be around much -- at least for the first couple days where I won't have wifi. Living in the dark ages, man.


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So, happy holidays everyone, merry Christmas if you celebrate it. Save some Christmas special wank for me! I should be back properly on the 28th.

holiday love meme 2012
my thread here

In related news, since it's that time of year again, I'm going to a cookie exchange next weekend and was wondering if anyone had some easy-ish recipe recommendations to share. Last year I made fauxkaren's cakemix cookie recipe and they were delicious even if I am pretty sure they were not supposed to be the shape that they were. I might make those again (and try to perfect the shape) BUT I remember getting lots of good suggestions last year so I thought I'd ~open the floor~.

Plz keep in mind I am a total novice baker, and also unemployed so ideally there will be no super obscure expensive ingredients that can only be purchased on a full moon from one specific convenience store on a mountaintop.

(PS: Wow this icon selection I have rn is terrible. How do I adequately express myself in 100x100 images with this? I only have one icon of Rose Tyler? :O)

Sometimes I feel like I have things to talk about, but I'm trying to think of what they are right now and coming up blank. So let's just barrel through this:

• I'm still unemployed and stuff. I'm obviously not going to find a job until the new year at this point, so... whatever I guess. No1curr about my quarterlife crisis, moving on.
  
• There's some ship battle poll thing going on and the finals has Doctor/Rose against ~Klaine~. I don't think Doctor/Rose will win at this point but if you've ever wanted to vote against Glee in something (and I know you have) here is your opportunity.
  
• BBC One is making "The Casual Vacancy" into a TV series! I am excited because I am part of the apparently small portion of the internet that liked Casual Vacancy. Plus with it being BBC there's bound to be SOME hilarious British Actor Bingo, amirite? I don't know what they mean by "series" -- I assume they mean miniseries, or like, 2 seasons with a total of 10 episodes max.
  
• We're going to visit family for Christmas and it is a NIGHTMARE of organization. I think we finally sorted it out and it means I'll be home for my birthday, which is nice. Here's hoping I am less grumpy about it than I was on my last birthday.
  
• If anyone out there is as bored and unfulfilled as I am, I recommend the Larry tag on Tumblr because ain't nothin' funnier than the perfect storm that is RPF tinhatters, tweens and Taylor Swift.

Here, look at the deformed chocolate my aunt gave me:

My extra icon packages expire in like 4 days and I dunno if I'm gonna do anything about it. On one hand, icons! All the icons I have spent years collecting and such! On the other hand, I don't post or comment as much as I used to and I also have no income, so.

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I didn't mean for this post to be "wah wah I will never amount to anything, version #4.0" but that's basically all that's happening in my life rn so there it is lol. UM. Here have a point-form breakdown of stuff I have seen:

• The Mindy Project was good this week. The show is definitely getting better and finding its stride. I have never found an episode HILARIOUS, but they're consistently amusing throughout (or have been for the last few episodes) which is good enough for me. I find Mindy quite a likable lead -- I don't particularly relate to her but I find her funny and I think they've struck a pretty decent balance between funny and still clever/believably a medical professional. I would like to watch Dr. Mindy Lahiri interact with Dr. Elliot Reid. Danny and the British guy (lol idek his name) remain so-so, but Morgan is getting funnier and generally I just enjoy the show's vibe. Also, she wrinkled my brain re: "girlcrush" this week and now I may have to remove that from my vocabulary so good job Mindy.
  
• The Office's "farewell season" continues to be enjoyable. I know some people are upset with the direction they've taken Andy but I don't curr about Andy so, whatever, and I hate Andy/Erin so Erin/NewJim is a welcome change for me. Oscar/Angela/Senator makes me uncomfortable but I'm reserving judgment until I know where it's heading. Also, they gave me an entire episode with Nellie using an American accent, so, excellent. (S9 Nellie, as far as I can tell, is basically an entirely different person from s7 or s8 Nellie, but she's a real character now so I'll take it.)
  
• Doctor Who has a CIN thing airing this Friday that is meant to be the "first glimpse" of the new companion. I'm pretty sure by "glimpse" they mean that most literally, and we'll see about a single gif-worth of frames of her buried in a incoherent trailer of explosions. Also a prequel, which I'm sure will feature Eleven being ~zany as always.
  
• Elementary continues to be enjoyable, with interesting characters and white noise crime cases. It sounds like the show is still slaying in ratings, which pleases me. I am cautiously optimistic to meet their Irene, because lbr it's not like she can be worse than the BBC's.
  
• P&R exists and is enjoyable but I never have any deep thoughts on it. I don't think I loved this week's ep as much as other people, but what's new when it comes to P&R lol.
  
• Argo was a really enjoyable film although it cracked me up to go online after and find out all this stuff about how they tweaked the story to glorify the CIA and downplay the involvement of the Canadian consulate, as well as the British and New Zealand consulates. LOLLLL SHOCKER.
  
• Wreck-It Ralph was really good?? I really enjoyed it a lot. I even warmed to Vanellope despite hating Sarah Silverman. And Jane Lynch's character was better than I anticipated. And just... stuff. It may have helped the case that this movie came during a time when I'm inexplicably into video games again, but I loved all the visual gags. And Paperman! So cute.

I met up with a friend for lunch today who I haven't seen all summer. She's doing her MA at the university we both went to for our undergrad, so she started classes yesterday. We ended up walking to a coffee shop near campus and chilling there for a while. It was pretty weird. My university is right downtown, so I pass it a lot when I'm in that area anyway, but this is the first time since classes that I've been on campus while it was bustling with students and not... been one of them.

I don't really think of myself as someone who misses school much. My friend Tania told us last week that she's in such school withdrawl that she bought school supplies even though she doesn't need them, lmao. I am not like that. I was glad to be done with my undergrad. But I kind of missed it today? I mean, I guess in part I just missed the purposefulness -- if I was in classes right now I wouldn't feel like such a waste of space, I guess. But I dunno, I think I just like the idea of being in school more than the actual reality of it, probably because for the most part being a student is an excuse to not be an actual adult yet, and right now I am neither a student nor an actual adult.

In less navel-gaze-y news, look what I got in the mail yesterday!:



That is a Hamlet postcard and a dinosaur necklace from idk my bff Liz. YOU KNOW ME WELL. It was excellent. I wore the necklace today and got compliments on it from both my friend and the cashier. TY BB.

In potentially more interesting news I watched the Elementary pilot. ( Collapse )

In my inbox this morning:

Hello Kali

How are you today.

Sorry for the late response i have been really busy with work.

You will be working under trial for 3 weeks and you will get paid $325 a week

Your first assignment you will be cashing of cheques which i will direct a customer
to send to you on my behalf.

All you have to to do is cash the cheques and i will tell what to do with the fund.

Let me know once you receive the payment.

Regards

John

SEEMS LEGIT.

Anyway I am going to block him once I figure out how to do so with my university's shitty email client, but lol lol.