Tags: books: best weapons in the world

dw :: ten :: aloha

i swear i thought i had things to say

Sometimes I feel like I have things to talk about, but I'm trying to think of what they are right now and coming up blank. So let's just barrel through this:

  • I'm still unemployed and stuff. I'm obviously not going to find a job until the new year at this point, so... whatever I guess. No1curr about my quarterlife crisis, moving on.
  • There's some ship battle poll thing going on and the finals has Doctor/Rose against ~Klaine~. I don't think Doctor/Rose will win at this point but if you've ever wanted to vote against Glee in something (and I know you have) here is your opportunity.
  • BBC One is making "The Casual Vacancy" into a TV series! I am excited because I am part of the apparently small portion of the internet that liked Casual Vacancy. Plus with it being BBC there's bound to be SOME hilarious British Actor Bingo, amirite? I don't know what they mean by "series" -- I assume they mean miniseries, or like, 2 seasons with a total of 10 episodes max.
  • We're going to visit family for Christmas and it is a NIGHTMARE of organization. I think we finally sorted it out and it means I'll be home for my birthday, which is nice. Here's hoping I am less grumpy about it than I was on my last birthday.
  • If anyone out there is as bored and unfulfilled as I am, I recommend the Larry tag on Tumblr because ain't nothin' funnier than the perfect storm that is RPF tinhatters, tweens and Taylor Swift.

Here, look at the deformed chocolate my aunt gave me:
eng :: what a piece of work

this is also why people who frown on fanfic can bite me, fyi

I was in Chapters yesterday with a friend and we ended up in the ~young-adult~ section. I have no beef with YA stuff, except that I wish the publishing industry would get them some better graphic artists because there sure are some serious DeviantART-style failures going on. Anyway, the first thing I noticed was this, a ~novelization~ of Hamlet by some guy named John Marsden. I don't object on any kind of moral level or anything, but I did find it hilarious, and flipping to a random page brought me to a description of Polonius as an "indispensable" member of the court renowned for his great advice, so I think teens of the world are still better off reading Wikipedia when studying for their Hamlet quiz.

Anyway, beside it was this:

I've definitely seen this book many times before but for some reason it never occurred to me to flip through it and see what happened at the end. AND THIS WAS A GRAVE OVERSIGHT, BECAUSE IT WAS THE BEST. [I'm using one of the spoiler cut tags mostly because I think they're fun and less because I think anyone cares about being spoiled for this book.] The book is written in first person because first person is I guess the language of YA, from Ophelia's perspective obvs. So finally it occurred to me that they probably weren't going to have Ophelia drown herself.

SO I FLIPPED TO THE LAST PAGE and it was everything I could ever have wanted and more (and conveniently explained everything I had missed):

  1. Ophelia, as predicted, does not drown herself. Instead, she hatches some kind of plot with someone (IDK who but probably a priest lbr) to both a) fake her own death and then b) disguise herself as a man. VERY SHAKESPEAREAN OF YOU, OPHELIA.
  2. So she gets the hell out of Dodge while everything goes to shit in Elsinore. Four for you, Ophelia.
  3. Eventually she returns and finds Horatio, who is SHOCKED AND AMAZED at her reappearance from the dead. He is all "omg I thought you died just like everyone else!" and Ophelia's like "FOOLED U!" They make out, clearly about to embark on some kind of weird George/Angelina-esque relationship.
  4. And THEN Ophelia is like "actually, I have one last surprise!"...
  5. .. and out comes HAMLET JR, bastard son of the dead Prince of Denmark.

And that is how I knew this was the best book in the world.

It was also only $5, so I seriously considered buying it and doing a more in-depth review type thing because I'm sure it would be hilarious. But I felt pretty weird about the idea that the first book I buy as an English graduate would be bad Shakespeare fanfic, so I did not. Try not to all storm your local bookstores at once in search of this masterpiece.
got :: arya :: not today

posting at 2am LIKE A BOSS

I. Oh look, a Game of Thrones trailer:

You may remember that I have a weird and somewhat tumultuous relationship with the GOT/ASOIAF franchise and I am not super eager to once again enter the realm of "well I really like this show but I don't give a shit about the novels but everyone who watches this show has read the books and spoilers blargh", and generally I've been pretty ambivalent to s2, but I quite liked this trailer. I'm not sure if it's better or worse for me, as someone with genuinely 0 idea what's happening or could be happening in any of the clips. I should probably rewatch s1 to refresh myself on who... everyone is. And to refamiliarize myself with the terminology.

II. In continuing 'project watch all the things', we've somehow landed on Marchlands, which is a miniseries from (I think) 2010-ish, or maybe 2011, with Alex Kingston (and Sydney Wade since she is apparently the only working child actress in Britain). The basic premise is that it follows three different families living in the same house, in the 60s, 80s and 2010 respectively. The daughter in the 60s family dies in ~mysterious circumstances and ghostly shenanigans happen in the 80s and 2010. We're only on episode 2 out of... 5? but it's quite good so far, I'd recommend it. ALSO Alex Kingston is delightful! She is the favourite of all of us. And Sydney Wade plays her daughter, Amy, lolololol.

III. I'm reading A Journal of the Plague Year because I have to present a seminar on it next week, and I've had fucked-up plague dreams for like two consecutive nights. Not even nightmares, because I don't wake up distressed or anything, just... highly theatrical plague-inspired dreams. I think last night's also featured the cast of Survivors.
eng :: words words words

still an awkward tagline though

So this exists. Yes I am delayed w/e I never claimed to be a Hunger Games stan plus I know there are some of you who aren't either and probably haven't seen it yet, plus I haven't seen anyone talk about it:

I'm ...kind of impressed? My ~unpopular opinion~ about this franchise (other than not being a huge fan) is that I actually think if it was done well a movie adaptation could be much better than the book. I think Collins had some interesting ideas, but she's a screenwriter and you can tell because her prose is... not... the best. If they can take the better ideas and themes and moments and translate them into something that isn't narrated in present-tense sentence fragments, it could be good. Trailers can easily be better than the actual whole they're selling (LOOKING @ U, SERIES 6) so this movie could easily be a hot mess still, but consider me tentatively intrigued.
dw :: ten :: aloha

The Shadow in the North!

LOL So we watched 'The Shadow in the North'. Collapse )

In conclusion, this was probably worse than the first film, but it also had parts that were more amusing. Does anyone have any particular suggestions for what we should look for next in our quest to WATCH ALL THE THINGS with Doctor Who alum?
dw :: ten :: aloha

the first season of lost on dvd!

I. First order of business:

Whoo! Go forth and prompt, etc.

II. Second order of business, I am reading The Girl Who Played With Fire. I'm only about ~150 pages in, so I don't think anything I say can really count as a spoiler. And what I have to say is: OH MY GOD LARSSON ARE YOU BEING PAID BY THE WORD, LIKE DICKENS? COME ON. This book is 700 pages long and if you took out all the extraneous, useless detail it could be about 350, I bet. I don't mind the books -- I find them interesting enough to read them, obviously -- and I can forgive some o the weird sentence construction and hilarious metaphors as being the result of a translation. That's all fine.

But there is no reason I should ever need to know the laundry list of what the character bought at the grocery store. I really don't need a five page passage dedicated to what particular style of furniture in what colour Lisbeth is buying from IKEA. Omg, I don't understand, are you being paid by Ikea?? hysteriagalore, as the voice of Sweden, do all Swedish people actually know the name/style of every single item in the Ikea catalogue? I complained to Tania about this, because she's read them, and she said "yeah I skimmed those parts" and I probably should've too, but I basically read every single word because I was so fascinated by what was happening. I was like "no, omg, he's not writing out every single Ikea item she purchases, THIS CANNOT BE REAL" and yet it was. I think I also give Larsson some slack because it's a ~mystery~ and any detail could be important, theoretically, but there comes a time when I have to accept that Lisbeth buying toilet paper is not plot relevant. It's just not. This entire chapter could've been summed up with like, a single paragraph that said "And then Lisbeth spent an afternoon furnishing her new apartment". DONE.

Also, it's still hilarious to me how everyone ever wants to sleep with Blomkvist and they are all also okay that everyone else is sleeping with Blomkvist.

III. Third order of business, Community was awesome.