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03 July 2005 @ 11:56 am
chapter eleven -- thriller  
Now that these chapters are newer, and therefor better written than the older ones, they need less revisions, so I can update faster. Hurrah. Besides that, I have nothing else to do at the moment, so here you go.

I like this chapter, myself. It was fun to write -- a bit difficult, but fun.

Chapter 10 – Thriller
It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,
You're paralyzed
-Thriller, Michael Jackson

While she hadn’t been overly eager to do the job when it’d been offered, now that she was out here, Lily didn’t really think it was so bad. The students seemed to have been organized enough to know what they were doing, and only occasionally did they call to her for assistance. It left her free to think, something she rather enjoyed, and she took a seat on the grass near the edge of the forest, a position from which she could easily keep an eye on all the second years.

She began to fall into a trance, after a while. It was the sort of trance that happened when nothing overly exciting was happening, and one’s brain didn’t seem particularly fond of functioning quite properly. She guessed it was that little place between being asleep and being awake, the place mentioned in that oft-quoted line of Tinkerbell’s. It was the sort of trance in which the haze her mind was in was not particularly hard to penetrate.

For that reason, her head jerked up when she heard something of a snarl behind her. Blinking and wondering if she imagined it, she glanced over her shoulder toward the forest. It was terribly dark in there, she realized; the trees covered a lot of the moonlight, and the bushes made it even harder to see. Squinting, she leaned a little closer.

She heard the snarl sort of noise again, cementing the idea that it was real, and not just something she’d made up as a result of being tired. She’d heard rumors, of course, of all sorts of nasty things that supposedly inhabited the Forest. She wasn’t sure if she believed much of it. Were they likely to put a school so close to a forest filled with such dangerous animals? She’d figured the stories about the animals within there were ways to keep the children from wandering within it.

She glanced back at the second years, and found them all completely oblivious and completely contented the way they were. She shrugged; they were too far from the forest, she supposed, to hear the quiet snarling sort of noise…s? Was that different, or not? Perhaps it was the Gryffindor in her, but the girl’s curiosity was spiked and she reached a hand into her robe pocket to pull out her wand before tentatively placing one foot within the boundary of the forest.

Lumos,” she said quietly, though the faint light from the tip of her wand did little to illuminate the forest very well.

She thought she could see, barely, a moving black shape a few meters from her. Or shapes, maybe – she couldn’t tell if the thing was one entity or two, and she wondered why exactly she was so curious to find out. It doesn’t matter, she told herself as she leaned forward farther, the other foot moving into the area as well. It’s probably nothing, just—

Something grabbed her.

Something grabbed her by the arm and Lily understood the expression ‘jumping out of one’s skin’. In an instant she’d let out a terrified gasp and whirled around, wand up and pointing and ready to send off the first hex that came to mind before she even found out the thing was…

…James Potter?

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said instantly, not bothering to wait for the girl’s heart to return to its regular, slower pace or even for her to lower the wand she had pointed at the center of his chest. When she swallowed, seemed to regain a bit of herself and lowered the wand, it occurred to her what he’d just said.

“Oh, that’s rich, coming from you,” she remarked, and although sarcastic, the remark wasn’t as scathing as it had usually seemed to be.

“You shouldn’t,” he said again.

She noticed that his voice was different – it was… serious? Was that it? She wasn’t quite sure, but she figured it was something like that. She’d heard him use a similar tone of voice before and she’d never known quite how to place it. The tone she’d heard was firm, she knew that, and it wasn’t the sort of tone most people would be eager to argue with. It was the tone of voice he’d used in defense of his friends one time in fifth year when they’d been arguing and she’d called them a ‘stupid bunch of brainless bloody followers’ and it was the tone that Lily figured, if he used more often, might have earned him the Head Boy badge.

There was something a little different about the way he was speaking now, though; it was more urgent, and it almost sounded a little frantic.

She didn’t have very long to think over what he was trying to express, though, because then she was being dragged somewhat forcefully out of the forest’s edge. It was only then that she realized he still had a grip on her arm. Staggering as she was dragged backwards, Lily wrenched her arm out of his grip and eyed him oddly for a short second before turning her gaze back to the forest.

“Since when are you so pro-boundaries, Potter?” she asked lightly, not bothering to take her gaze off the forest.

He didn’t answer her question. “Take them inside.”

“What? Why?”

“Just do it, Evans,” he snapped, voice commanding and reminding her of their first meeting with the prefects.

Irritated by the way he seemed to think she had to listen to him, she jerked her head back in his direction, looking at him for the first time.

“Why are you out here, anyway?”

James let out a hiss of irritation and took a step closer, towering over her. “Damnit, Evans, listen to me!”

She stared at him, surprised by the outburst. She supposed the best thing to do was stay silent, and so she did.

“Get them inside,” he repeated slowly, stressing each word as though she were painfully stupid and might miss it if he spoke at a normal rate.

“You still haven’t told me why. I’m doing this as a favor for Professor Skentelbury and I-”

She broke off as he leaned down and put his mouth next to ear. Looking back on it a few hours later, she was rather annoyed by the shiver spawned by his breath on her neck.

“There’s a werewolf in there,” said James, voice quiet and prosaic.

Okay, she hadn’t been expecting that.

Her mouth fell open and both eyebrows shot up. She just stood there, mouth opening and closing a few times while she sent him a couple rather appalled looks. He’d pulled back by that time, and Lily eyed him for a moment longer before letting out a nervous laugh. He was kidding, obviously. It was James – he was always kidding. Granted, she couldn’t fathom why he would make up something like that, but it wasn’t her place to try and figure out how his mind worked. The fact of the matter was that he was James Potter and he was probably trying to cover the tracks of some stupid prank he and his friends were pulling. She didn’t put elaborate lies past him, in any case.

She was rather convinced of that until she realized he wasn’t smirking. He would be, if this was a joke, she figured. He’d have that mischievous twinkle in his eyes and that little smirk that drove her bonkers because it was so arrogant. As he stood there, there was no hint of either on his features; just a solid, serious stare that she was surprised to find gave her something like chills. With that look on his face, instead of a cocky grin, he looked like quite a formidable opponent and Lily found it hard to question what he said.

“You’re serious,” she said blankly, staring at him.

His silence was as good as a yes.

Allowing the Head Girl in her to take over, Lily spun on her heels and instantly made toward the group of second years, trying to ignore the cold feeling of unease in the base of her stomach. A werewolf? In the forest? The snarling she’d heard – the shape that had been only a few meters from her – Merlin, what if James hadn’t shown up?

And where had he come from, anyway?

She’d figure that out in a moment. She gave her head a little shake to clear her thoughts. Don’t panic, don’t panic… “Kids, I’m afraid we’re going to have to head inside now,” she called as lightly as she could, forcing a slight smile onto her lips. James was at her heels.

“Why?” was the instant reaction as all the twelve year olds looked up at her skeptically. It’d been scarcely fifteen minutes out of an hour and it was a perfectly nice night.

“And why’s he here?” asked one of the Slytherins, sending James a rather wary look of resentment.

Lily opened her mouth to reply. “There’s-”

“-No need to question our authority unless you feel like a week’s worth of detentions, so get inside,” said James quickly, easily overriding Lily’s voice. She sent him an odd glance but supposed questioning him could wait. Most of the kids eyed James, probably wondering if he would follow through with the threat.

Mind on the snarling noise, Lily intervened. “You heard him,” she said with a bit of a sigh, “go back inside. Quickly, now.”

“Why?” asked the Slytherin again while most of the other students shrugged and headed toward the large oak doors.

“Ten points from Slytherin,” James remarked almost lazily, flicking his hand. “Now get inside!”

The boy looked ready to argue for a moment before shutting his mouth, turning on his heel and sweeping after the rest of them. Lily heaved a sigh of relief while James rolled his eyes, both of them right behind the second years. James ensured that they kept moving and Lily momentarily marveled at how much most of them listened to him. James really had affirmed his position at the top of the Hogwarts food chain, though with ways Lily wasn’t quite so fond of.

“Keep moving, keep moving, that’s right, inside, faster, I’d rather not be out here all night, now,” said James once they reached the oak doors, throwing them open and herding the kids inside with one arm.

Watching them file inside, the authoritarian side of Lily she wasn’t really aware she had took over and she instinctively began counting heads. One, two, three… eleven? Wait wait wait, eleven? She could distinctly recall Professor Skentelbury asking her to take twelve students. She blinked and counted again, this time quicker, ignoring the way James was staring at her and motioning for her to go inside. Eleven… where was the twelfth? She glanced over her shoulder and saw no last minute stragglers. Swallowing, and hoping the little bit of panic wasn’t becoming obvious, she glanced back at the kids.

“Well?” asked the impatient Slytherin once again.

“Go back to your dorms,” James instructed instinctively.

A rather small Ravenclaw girl blinked. “But … Professor Skentelbury-”

Lily jolted herself out of her thoughts for a moment and smiled. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

That was reason enough and all the kids hurried off in their own directions.

James heaved a sigh and motioned for Lily to get inside the castle once more. With the kids out of the way, she allowed a bit more of her panic to surface and glanced back at him. “Potter… there was only eleven.”

James’ eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“Eleven. Eleven students,” she repeated, well aware she was growing increasingly panicky, “eleven went inside and I brought twelve outside – oh, where is the twelfth?” She was talking to herself by now, pacing back and forth on the little landing.

“I’ll find them,” James said instantly, “Get inside.”

Lily looked up. “What? But you—”

“Will be fine. Get inside.”


James reached down and grabbed her by the wrists, taking her completely by surprise. Raising her arms over her head he walked her backwards and into the castle.

Stay inside,” he said, voice that agonizingly slow and demanding tone again.

Lily gaped at him but couldn’t seem to make herself protest. She could see why so many people let James walk all over them. She didn’t feel… scared of him, per say, and she couldn’t recall ever feeling scared of Potter, but he made it hard for anyone to want to argue with him.

He dropped her wrists and turned on his heel, darting down the stairs and towards the forest again, hand reaching into his pocket for his wand. Lily stood where she was, gaping, and raised a hand to run through her hair. What on Earth…

There was a werewolf, she told herself, trying to digest it. There was a werewolf in the forest that had been a couple of meters from her before James Potter had showed up out of nowhere and told her to take all the kids inside, which she’d done, except there was only eleven out of twelve, and now James was rushing back into the forest where the werewolf was to try and find the child she was supposed to be looking after. It was bloody insane.

Part of her was longing to dash out the door after James, but a part of her was hesitant. He seemed to know what he was doing – but that was stupid, she reminded herself. Of course he didn’t. He was just doing what he did best, being overly confident. Why would James know how to handle a werewolf? She was pretty sure it was the ego talking, the ego and the Gryffindor in him.

The Gryffindor in him was going to go find the twelfth child.

It was very brave of him, she had to admit.

Twelve, twelve, twelve… oh, how had she managed to lose one? She couldn’t understand it. They hadn’t wandered off – she’d been watching them – they had no reason to leave their little circle, no reason to go into the forest – surely they weren’t that reckless? How could the twelfth have gotten away without someone noticing? Why hadn’t someone said anything?

Wait, wait, wait.

Someone had said something.

“Valerie’s got the flu, her brother told me to tell you she wouldn’t be coming tonight.”

There were only eleven.

And James was out there in the forest with a werewolf looking for the twelfth.

Eyes widening, she darted from the stairs and toward the forest, pulling out her wand as she ran.

The thought had occurred to her that she should get a teacher, someone who might actually know what they were doing. She had decided that there wasn’t time; she knew all the teachers would be at the staff meeting in the staff room and she didn’t fancy leaving James alone with a werewolf for that long. As much as she disliked the boy, she would rather not be responsible for him catching lycanthropy or ...perhaps something worse.

When she reached the edge of the forest she bit her lip and cast a glance around. James wasn’t on the grounds; he must have gone into the forest. She sighed. She considered calling his name, but once again wondered if that was a good idea. She didn’t want to draw any more attention to herself than was absolutely necessary. Lighting her wand again, she stepped into the forest for the second time that night, although this time her heart was thumping a little faster.

“Potter?” she whispered into the darkness, glancing around. Oh, damnit, why wasn’t this lighting spell brighter? Did this ever help anyone at all? Wishing she had a flashlight, she took a few more steps deeper. “Potter?” she tried again, slightly annoyed by the lack of reply. Oh, surely to God he wasn’t daring enough to go that far into the forest with a werewolf lurking around?

It was dark, as she’d noticed earlier, and she could see, once she was fully in the forest, why it was that all the rumors got started. It was creepy. The slight breeze caught the leaves of the trees and made them rustle, the twigs that littered the ground made it difficult to walk silently, and there seemed to be a large number of moving shadows. Lily attributed it to the breeze and the plants moving as a result, but it didn’t make her any less jumpy. Any one of those shadows might be James, but at the same time, any one of them might have been a werewolf.

She sighed, called James’ name once more, and then shook her head. This was hopeless. The forest was massive, how was she supposed to find James? Oh, this was bad. This was so, so bad. Glancing left and right, she bit her lip. “Potter?” Nothing. With an irritated groan she sighed. “James?”


Well, it was worth a try.

A rustle in the bushes ahead of her caught her attention and she jumped, training her wand in that direction. There was something, she concluded, she… just didn’t know what. “Potter?” she asked for the thousandth time. If it was him, surely he would’ve replied? Although she wasn’t speaking very loud… what if he hadn’t heard her? What if he hadn’t heard her, so he stayed in the forest, trying to find a kid he wasn’t going to be able to find, and got bitten, or eaten? It would all be her fault and she’d lose her badge and be kicked out of school and not have a hope in the wizarding world and have to live with the guilt that she had been responsible for James Potter’s death... she'd have to explain to his parents and Sirius and Remus and Peter that she just hadn't been brave enough, not Gryffindor enough, to venture in and properly search for him...

Wand still out in front of her she took a deep breath and headed toward the shadow.

There was nothing, at first, which didn’t help her breathing return to normal very much. For the first few seconds she didn’t think anything was there, and she gazed around skeptically. She could have sworn she’d heard something. Then she’d heard a noise to her left.

She turned, wand up in a flash and ready to scream the first hex that popped to mind for the second time that night only to see that it was a deer.

Or a stag, to be more specific, she realized after a second when she saw the large, imposing antlers. Her mouth fell open slightly and she gazed at it, startled that it was so close and hadn’t run away. Lowering her wand to see the animal better, she leaned forward out of curiosity. Weren’t these creatures supposed to be highly skittish? It was so close, so right there.

If she reached out, she could have touched it.

Her eyes flickered from the antlers to the features of the deer’s face, lingering on the eyes for a reason she couldn’t quite grasp. Vaguely illuminated with the light from her wand, Lily could see them well enough to tell that they were probably very pretty, a… brownish sort of colour, was it? No, not brown, not quite – the coat was brown, the eyes were more… hazel… a complex palate of colours.

Like Potter’s, she thought, before wondering if she had just compared a deer’s eyes to Potter’s.

Threat of werewolf forgotten temporarily, entranced by the majestic creature in front of her, she reached a hand out and brushed the deer’s shoulder.

The physical contact seemed to knock both Lily and the deer out of the revere, and instantly the deer reeled backwards, startling Lily as well as scaring her when it jerked back and then cantered off into the forest. Swallowing, Lily gave her head a little shake. That was bizarre by every definition of the word. Feeling something warm on her fingers, she glanced down and found that they were a little more… red than usual.

The stag had been bleeding?

She didn’t have long to think it over; the next second she was reminded again of the werewolf’s presence and knocked out of the peaceful stupor she’d been in since the appearance of the stag. A snapping twig behind her jerked her head gaze up from her hands and the snarl she heard – much louder and more malevolent than the last time – caused her to whirl around instantly...

...and, conveniently, overbalance and land on her rear.

She didn’t need the faint light from her wand to tell her the snarling mass in front of her was the werewolf. The sticks, leaves, mud and pebbles that made up the forest floor made it difficult to scramble backwards, like she was trying to do, and by the time she finally found her feet she decided staggered only three steps backwards until she hit the root protruding from the ground. The wind was knocked out of her as she landed on her back. Scarcely a second passed before the werewolf landed overtop of her, eliciting a shriek from the Head Girl.

Potter, where the hell are you?

She froze, although she doubted there would’ve been much for her to do, in any case. Her fingers curled around her wand but she couldn’t lift her arm to an appropriate angle – besides, what type of spell does one throw at a werewolf snarling overtop of them? Heart hammering way beneath her ribcage, she shrieked a second time and tried to worm her way away from the wolf standing above her, breathing rapid. It’s like a bad muggle horror film crossed her mind for a second before she returned to her panicking.

She could recall reading that animals could sense fear, and that the best thing to do was to try and display dominance, but she wondered how one was supposed to do that. How on earth do you try and display dominance without getting mauled? The wolf snapped its jaws in the air, causing Lily to flinch and grimace, both at the long strand of saliva that slipped from its jowls onto her cheek and the metallic sort of sound the teeth made when they clashed together again.

If it bit her…

She heard a low, rumbling growl and did a double-take as she realized the sound had not come from the wolf looming over her. Lily was just about to wonder if she was really that scared, enough to imagine things, when a great big shape emerged from the shadows and leapt at the werewolf, knocking it from over top of her. She stared at the ensuing scuffle, dumbfounded at the growls, snarls, and yelps.

Oh Merlin, there’s two of them?

It was a puzzle to her why they would be attacking each other, in that case. Wouldn’t it make more sense for the both of them just to maul her together? Weren’t wolves pack animals? Was it some sort of dominance thing? Were werewolves more ‘lone wolves’ than actual wolves?

Why am I even putting thought into this?

Heaving herself into a sitting position she eased herself backwards, slowly; she didn’t want to draw any attention back to herself, since the wolves seemed to be quite preoccupied with eating each other. She stuck a hand behind her to continue pulling herself away from the two.

It brushed something fuzzy, and she retracted it instantly, only to see a fairly large rat scurry past her.

Lily made it to her feet right around the time the first werewolf managed to throw the big black werewolf off of itself. Lily’s gaze flickered back and forth between the werewolf and the ground as she moved backwards, once again not wanting to turn her back on the wolf. Picking up the pace when she failed to see any roots in her path, she lifted her gaze toward the werewolf. The werewolf was panting, its chest heaving, gashes and blood marring its fur.

Her back hit a tree. She drew a breath in shock and silently prayed that the wolf wasn’t tensing up to leap at her like she thought it was. Deciding her best bet was to risk turning her back on the wolf and run for her life, she spun around.

It was then she found that the tree was, in fact, James.

She scarcely had time to register that fact before his arm was around her waist before it gave a powerful shove. There was a moment when she wondered if James had intentionally tossed her to the ground, but the thought was confirmed when she heard the too-familiar click of the wolf’s teeth.

Did James Potter just save my life?

Glancing over her shoulder, Lily saw the large black wolf was back in the picture as it ran at the werewolf sidelong. A firm hand grabbed her under the elbow and she allowed James to pull her to her feet. His hand met hers and gripped it tightly, firmly, securely – and then the next second he was sprinting and she was being dragged along. Instinct finally kicking in, she followed his lead.

“There’s two of them!” she called as she ran after him, wishing inwardly that she had the same athletic gene the boy seemed to possess.

“No there isn’t,” he replied instantly, still steering her between the trees. She’d been about to ask how he was so certain when he continued. “Are you alright?”

She nodded mutely, eyes trained no the ground so as to not make the same mistake she’d made earlier.

This was mental. There was a werewolf in the forest on the grounds of a school, where minutes previous she’d had a bunch of twelve year olds outside for stargazing. She’d been informed of the werewolf by spontaneously appearing James Potter, who had rushed back into the forest to save a child that wasn’t there. She had gone back to find him, had been about to be eaten by a werewolf when the werewolf was tackled by a … big… dog… thing, a rat had crawled over her hand and she’d been saved by James Potter.

They reached the edge of the forest rather quickly, and in silence. Lily was panting to hard to speak for the most part anyway, and James didn’t seem to be very eager to talk. By the time they reached the stairs, the fact that they were so close to the doors seemed to be a promise of safety and Lily both collapsed, chest heaving.

“Are you okay? Bleeding anywhere?”

James’ voice sounded rather hoarse, not in the sense that he’d been screaming so much as in the sense that he was very exhausted and it took effort to speak. Unable to get a sound out, Lily nodded her head before shaking it.

“…What?” he croaked a second later, arching an eyebrow, and for perhaps the first time Lily realized that he looked almost panicked.

“I’m fine,” she managed a minute later. Shaking all over, and more than a little terrified, but fine.


Visibly relieved by the news, James allowed himself to collapse on the stairs next to her.

Hand on her chest and trying to slow her lungs, Lily glanced over at James. He was leaning back against the door, eyes closed, chest rising and falling at a steady rate.

“There… isn’t… a twelfth,” Lily said as she slowly began to regain her breath, swallowing after she finished.

James nodded. “I figured.” He let out a loud yawn and ran a hand through his hair. He opened his eyes a minute later and regarded her curiously, eyes narrowed. “Why were you in the forest?”

“You were looking for a child you weren’t going to find,” she replied, breathless. “And there was a werewolf in there… and…”

It suddenly occurred to Lily that she didn’t really want to say ‘and I didn’t want you to get hurt’.

James, on the contrary, seemed all too aware of this, and he stared at her expectantly. “And?”

“…and… I didn’t want you to be mauled or anything because of my mistake,” she answered shortly.

James snorted slightly. “Considerate.”

When her breathing was slightly less laboured and her heart no longer felt like it was going to pop out of her chest, Lily ran a hand through her hair. “What were you doing outside at this time of night, anyway?” It was just occurring to her now how odd it was, and it was just occurring to her now that it was James Potter and any reasoning he had was probably not that innocent.

The boy stood up and dusted himself off, extending a hand to help her up. She took it without thinking and he pulled her up, shrugging. “Nothing particularly important.”

Lily knew he was lying. Most normal people did not do ‘nothing particularly important’ and yet show up out of nowhere in the nick of time to tell people about impending werewolf attacks. It just wasn’t right.

Why would Skentelbury send her out here on a full moon if there was a werewolf on the school grounds? Especially without telling her? That was just asking for trouble. It was lucky the kids had been ushered in so quickly. Merlin, she’d almost been bitten, what about the kids?

…What if Skentelbury didn’t know?

The thought struck her rather suddenly and she slipped past him and into the school. “Come on! We’ve got to find someone!”

James was at her heels. “What? Why?”

“We’ve got to tell one of the Professors,” she replied, walking briskly down the hall.

James caught up to her and grabbed her arm. “Evans – you can’t tell the professors.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” she replied, arching an eyebrow and jerking her elbow out of his hand. “Some needs to go… go… shoot it!”


The righteous anger in his voice was so strong Lily thought it was like she’d suggested they go shoot one of his friends.

“Why would they shoot it?” yelped James, voice high pitched with indignation.

“Because it’s a dangerous Dark Creature, this is a school, and it’s not safe to have a werewolf running around where it can just terrorize children!” She continued her brisk walk and shook her head. “What if I’d been bitten, what if you’d been bitten? Wouldn’t that have been terrible? If we tell the staff they can eliminate the threat before it does any more harm.”

James quickened his pace to keep up with her, staring at her, eager to argue. “There would be no threat if we hadn’t been in the forest. I told you to stay inside, Evans. Besides, it’s… that’s murder! You can’t just shoot him!”

Lily froze, staring at him.

James stared at her blankly for a moment, brow furrowing, before his eyes widened in a terrified sort of recognition and he added hastily – “…her, it!”

Chapter 10 - Surprisingly I don't think I have much to say about this chapter. Mostly everything speaks for itself. The only thing I feel I should address, perhaps,is Lily's desire to shoot the werewolf. I don't mean for her to seem entirely callous, and I know it's a much different reaction than many writers would give her -- but look at it this way. Had you been swimming in the ocean and quit nearly been devoured by a shark, would you be concerned for the shark's well-being, or would you want to ensure it didn't hurt anybody else? Lily does not view the werewolf as a person, and I do not mean that to be because she is cold or stupid -- it is because given what we know about the Wizarding World and its prejudices, I do not think anyone views werewolves as people, save a few exceptions, James, Sirius and Peter being examples. Werewolves are protrayed as blood-thirsty monsters and, strengthened by the fact she just witnessed that, that is what Lily thinks of. She does not automatically make the connection that in killing a werewolf she would, in fact, be killing a person.

And of course she has no idea that person would be Remus.

Comments are love.

Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: sounds of silence ; simon + garfunkel
Salomewwc_otherguy on July 3rd, 2005 05:10 pm (UTC)
Woah. I very much agree with the was you portray Lily and her reaction to the werewolf; it opened my eyes and I'd never thought of it like that, although I thought that perhaps her being a Muggleborn might make her slightly more sympathetic than most.

James was good in this chapter. His character is multi-faceted, just like I imagained him to be. You've shown this since the first few chapters but I don't think I've commented on it before.

Anyway, I'm really enjoying this and happy that updates should be coming faster.

(Anonymous) on July 3rd, 2005 05:21 pm (UTC)
It's interesting you mention her being muggleborn, because that's actually something I was going to have... someone, I hadn't really decided who, mention in one of the following chapters. Being muggleborn might make her more sympathetic -- but at the same time, mightn't it make her worse? Look at all the [presumably muggle] fairy-tales our parents tell us when we're kids -- Little Red Riding Hood, The Three Little Pigs ... it's always the big bad wolf, right? And we've got a ton of horror movies about rabid werewolves killing everything in sight... our culture certainly isn't sympathetic. Of course, werewolves don't exist so we needn't be, but I think you get what I'm saying.

I'm glad you like my portrayal of James. I must admit that I have his character so built up in my mind that writing for him is getting increasingly easy and like second-nature. I don't imagine him to be as deep a character as, say, Severus Snape (whom I adore and ought to write more about), but I do think there's more beneath the surface than ArrogantAsshole or DestinedMartyr. A lot of fics get me with that -- they cast Sirius as nothing more than perpetually sugarhigh or Remus as nothing more than a lonely bookworm or Peter as nothing more than a nervous, traitorus little man, and it isn't like that. Everyone has more depth than just their prevailing personality traits.

Ohh, tangent. Anyway, glad you liked it. Thanks.

downdown_igodowndown_igo on July 3rd, 2005 07:26 pm (UTC)
i looooved the authorative aura of james in this chapter and i totally understood lily's reaction to the werewolf, but it made me sad 'cause i know it's lupin =(

i can't wait for the next chapter! you always leave me on edge. =/
Camilla: Touga as Prince // SunTemplemo_chan on July 3rd, 2005 08:53 pm (UTC)
Hooray for continuing chapters! I'm glad your revisions are going as planned too. Keep 'em coming!
(Anonymous) on July 4th, 2005 12:03 am (UTC)
I don't know exactly what I think about Lily's attitude. I can understand her natural reaction to tell someone. After all, from her perspective, why wouldn't the teachers have told her otherwise? But to shot it? I don't know... that seems extreme. But I do understand your reasoning.

Also, I'm surprised at how Lily and James's relationship is progressing. Not that it's wrong, just that it's so slow. Normally, they go from love-hate to love-love in, like, two months. That just doesn't seem quite right. But in this case, it really seems to be moving normally.

Finally, I was just wondering, what chapter would this be in FF.net? I remember that you were at about 17 chapters or so, but you've combined some. I was curious, because I'm anxiously waiting for the newest chapter.

Kali: credit: <lj user=sweetdisguise>_thirty2flavors on July 4th, 2005 12:18 am (UTC)
I'm glad, if anything, you understand my reasoning, at least.

And I'll take that as a compliment. I do find that in most fics Lily seems to flipflop and change her mind almost instantly. I do not think that is particularly likely -- that doesn't happen. You don't hate someone for a few years and then decide you love them in four weeks.

And this chapter, on FF.net, was chapter thirteen. Using the old chapter system, I was on chapter sixteen, I think. Or perhaps seventeen. You know, I'm not sure.


rebeka13rebeka13 on July 4th, 2005 04:12 am (UTC)
i think that it is very realistic the reaction to the the about a werewolf that lily had and that it makes sesnse that hers would be to shoot the werewolf instead of thinking about it and being a goody-goody about it. it makes sense that if she new the person she would have a different reaction.
Traceytraceria on July 5th, 2005 03:12 pm (UTC)
Even though I'd read through this before, I was still sitting on the edge of my seat in a completely tense/nervous state. I cannot wait for the next chapter...and the staff meeting...

I love these serious J/L moments. :)
(Anonymous) on July 5th, 2005 06:12 pm (UTC)
you are my idol
woah!!! i had no idea a young student writer could even compare to J.K. but you just changed my mind! Your writing improves immensely with EACH chapter, no lie. I really like your style of writing and hope that there are many many many more chapters to come because i check this thing every day. Im addicted to your gift(writing)! I really like the way this story is headed and cannot wait for the next chapter! please fulfill my one desire....another chapter! i came hope from a trip and saw 3 or so new chapters and it was like christmas in july! and unfortuneately i read them all in about a 30 minute span because i was so excited! i shouldve spaced them out but now ill know next time right? ok well this is far too long but i hope this makes you feel AMAZING AND TALENTED because thats what i intended for this to do, show the truth that every reviewer here knows! YOUR FREAKING AWESOME!

(Anonymous) on July 5th, 2005 06:13 pm (UTC)
Re: you are my idol
Tayloroh_fine on July 8th, 2005 12:18 am (UTC)
I really liked how Lily reacted to the werewolf. It's different than most authors would write.

Please update soon!
Anya: Hermionedancinggoldfish on July 12th, 2005 12:01 am (UTC)
*bug-eyed awe*

Let's just say that my one and only possible reaction to that post is: "wow"