II. Another top 5 for all of you! goldy_dollar asked for Top five times Billie Piper cried so well that you wanted to rip out your own heart and stamp on it.
5) ~Shakespeare Re-told~ Much Ado About Nothing
So, Much Ado is basically one of those plays where I like the A plot while hating the B plot. Or maybe I like the B plot and hate the A plot, IDK which is really the A/B plot here. Not the point. The point is that while Beatrice and Benedick are hilarious and Beatrice is a flawless HBIC, Hero, Claudio and those shenanigans are just the worst. Everything about their story is just terrible. Claudio is like unprecedented levels of douche, and anyway I usually try to block out the entire Hero/Claudio plotline.
But the Hero/Claudio plotline (excuse me, Hero/Claude, because 'Hero' is totally a normal 21st century name but "Claudio" is not, I guess) in this ~re-told~ version benefits from two things. First, well, it is restructured to fit the 21st century, which means that Hero does what I have ALWAYS WANTED HER TO DO and kicks Claude/io to the curb. Hahaha. And second, Hero is Billie Piper, which means I have instant affection for her and means that when she cries in the wedding scene my feelings of "awww, poor Hero" are strong enough to break through my typical rage blackout at Claude/io's assholery.
4) Hannah finds out that Duncan is a prick in s3 of Secret Diary
This scene, like actually a fair number of Hannah Baxter scenes, is a mix of "YESSSSS GET IT" and "omg why :(". I love the way she calls out Duncan and since he gave me douche-vibes since he first appeared it was something I'd been waiting for all season. Hannah breaks up with him in fierce HBIC fashion and doesn't let him pull any of his "but you're a prostitute so that makes everything I do okay lol!!!" bullshit. It is awesome.
BUT Billie Piper is also crying or almost-crying the whole time, so in between being like "YOU GO GIRL" I am like ":( but come here and I will eat ice cream out of the tub with you and make it better".
3) Rose loses her daddy in Father's Day/Rose gets sent home in Parting of the Ways/Rose mourns for Nine in The Christmas Invasion/Rose says goodbye to Mickey in Age of Steel
Basically, "every time Rose Tyler cries". There are about half a dozen moments where Rose Tyler cries and it is tragic. Picking #3 from that list was a bit arbitrary -- I don't think one makes me neccessarily any more sad than the other -- so I didn't. However here are some that I remembered off the top of my head.
Father's Day is a brilliant episode and a lot of that rests on Billie selling the idea that Rose has met her long-dead father for the first time and then had to lose him again. When she and Pete hug just before he goes to sacrifice himself and Rose starts crying, omg, it is so sad. Parting of the Ways is hard to watch because omg poor Rose just wants to save her friends, okay. The Christmas Invasion is interesting because while I like Nine a lot, my overwhelming love for Ten means that I can't ever be particularly sad to see Nine go. The closest I get to that is watching poor Rose sob to Jackie about how the Doctor's gone. Aww, Rose, it is okay, you will like the new guy, I promise. And even though the Mickey/Rose breakup in Age of Steel was long overdue, it's a pretty big moment for both of them as characters, a pretty significant step towards their symbolic growing up, and Rose being so sad about it makes me sad about it.
2) The last ten minutes of Doomsday
Omfg this is the most tragic thing to ever happen, basically. I am not sure whether Rose sobbing against the wall or Rose sobbing alone on a beach is more tragic. I think they are both equally terrible. Do I even need to elaborate?
My soul weeps.
1) Hannah breaks up with Ben in the Secret Diary finale
You are probably wondering why the Hannah/Ben breakup ranks higher than Doomsday. LET ME TELL YOU WHY: it is because this scene makes me sad entirely because of Billie Piper and her tears, which fits the theme of this list the most. In Doomsday, while Billie Piper's tears are a big part of it, this is combined with the fact that I ship Ten/Rose like burning and also David Tennant is standing there with his big sad eyes and everything is terrible.
On the other hand, s4 of Secret Diary disappointed me so terribly that I flounced after the third episode. I don't give many fucks about Hannah/Ben, beyond my (incorrect) assumption that they would be endgame. And actually, I really like that Hannah breaks up with Ben rather than quit for him -- it's true to her character and a ballsier move than I expected from the show, especially at th end of such a weak season. And Ben is kind of a dick, so Iddo Goldberg's sad duck face lends nothing to this scene.
BUT then Hannah starts crying and being 4ever Alone and watching Hannah cry is just the saddest thing, so I find myself going "NO NO THIS IS TERRIBLE OMG NOOO :(" despite myself. I just want to cuddle her and make it better and maybe give her number to a certain victorious Time Lord. DAMN YOU, BILLIE PIPER.