Kali (_thirty2flavors) wrote,

reached back like a pimp and i slapped the ho

I wanted to pimp this story, and it's not mine, so I don't feel bad about doing it.

Title: The Two-Step of Death
Author: Lady_Game of UR.org
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "In the end, they all dance to the music of two words and a flash of green light. These are the stories of the last ten victims of Lord Voldemort. A 10x100, post-HBP."
Excerpt: Petunia Dursley spent half her life running from her sister’s world. What was unfortunate for Petunia was that the Wizarding world had reasons to run after her.
Why You Should Read It: The above excerpt is only one of about five zillion awesome lines in this fic; I chose that one because it's near the very start so it was easy for me to find. It is the best fic of its kind I can recall reading. I wrote a hideously gushy review because I quite adore it. Go read it, right now. It is wonderfully creative and the characters it focuses on are refreshingly unique, as is the ending.

While I'm in the business of pimping things, this is the best fanart version of Snape's Worst Memory that I have stumbled across in my travels. GO worship its pretty prismacolours and perfect Sirus, James and Lily (among others).

1. Are you going to look at every possible spoiler you can before the book comes out? Did you with HBP and how accurate were the ones you saw?
No, I hate spoilers, actually, though I did manage to find out that Snape killed Dumbledore and that Remus and Tonks wanted in each others' pants before I actually read the book, entirely by accident.

2. What will you do if Amazon (or whoever;) don’t deliver your copy on time, and everyone is reading it except you?
Amazon doesn't do same-day delivery to Canada, so I live in a world of mystery. This time around, though, I'm probably going to buy two copies. Because I am just THAT cool.

3. Will you read the last chapter before anything else? Are you planning to read the book all in one go or are you a slow reader?
People who read the last chapters of books first confuse me. What is the point? So no, no I won't -- and I'll probably try to pace myself, though by "pace myself" I mean "read it in two days instead of two hours".

4. What’s your theory on the meaning of “Deathly Hallows?”
Who the hell knows. Everyone thought the Half-Blood Prince was Godric Gryffindor, an they were hideously wrong.

5. What’s the craziest Harry Potter theory you’ve got, which you could only share with your trusted f-list?
I read one once that was some elaborate theory about how the potion Dumbledore drank to get the HOrcrux was actually the horcrux, instead of the locket, or something, which is why he asked to be killed. I don't really believe it, but that was pretty bat-shit crazy. I was also entirely convinced the first chapter of HBP would be October '81, instead of something about politics. Damn.

6. If you could write in a sub-plot of your own choosing to the main Harry one, what would it be?
Ehhhhh that's what fanfiction is for.

7. Who do you think will die in the book, and who would you be most upset to see die, even if you don’t think it’s likely?
Character death doesn't really upset me because I am cold hard bitch. I think Harry may die, though I'm not completely convinced -- Ron and Hermione won't. One of the Weasleys, probably, because there's like seventy of them. Snape has to die -- wtf else is he going to do? Draco won't, he's going to be some kind of symbol of redemption (or, more basically, a symbol of "don't be an ass"). I'd be sad if Neville died, because his life sucks, or if Luna died, because she's awesome. I'd laugh if Tonks died, simply because Remus' life sucks, but if Remus died himself I wouldn't care that much. Oh, and I would be sad if either of the Twins died.

8. Name three main (ish) characters who you think will definitely live and why. Is there a very minor character(s) you really want to have a happy ending? Who can say?
Ron and Hermione won't die -- they just won't. They're going to live happily ever after, even if Harry doesn't. I don't think Draco will die, because as aforementioned, he'll probably turn into some kind of symbol about redemption. And I think Luna deserves some kind of awesome epilogue. Luna is awesome.

9. If you don’t like the book, or are bitterly disappointed by it, do you think you’ll still stay in the fandom?
I really don't think I'll dislike it.

10. One word (or concise) answers only!

Snape: good, evil, own agenda? Good, man.

Bill: will he help Remus or just be on permanent honeymoon? Honeymoooooon.

Peter: a Gryffindor moment or not? Damn straight.

Harry: is he a Horcrux? Maybe.

The Weasley’s: will they all survive? I dunno.

If no to the above: who won’t? Kill Percy.

Did Snape love Lily? Not in canon.

Hogwarts: will they go back to school or not? Yes.

Remus and Tonks: will they get married in the book? No.

Bellatrix: who will be her nemesis? Neville.

The new leader of the OotP is …? Harry.

Percy: will he see the error of his ways or not? Yes.

11. If Harry could take just one adult Order of the Phoenix member with him on the search for Horcruxes, who should it be and why?
Um, Remus, because he is totally the coolest one left. (Yes, that is a very solid reason.)

12. Will Remus and Greyback have a confrontation in human or werewolf form? Will Tonks be involved? Who will the other werewolves support?
Maybe, I hadn't put that much thought into it. It sounds pretty fanfic-y, actually, it might seem out of place in the books.

13. Who is the person from Harry’s class (and it isn’t him, Ron or Hermione), who will become a Hogwart’s teacher? What subject will they teach?
Hm yeah let's go with Neville, Herbology.

14. Do you think Harry will observe Remus looking less lined and walking with a little more of a spring in his step? If so, do you think he'll attribute it to Tonks, and if he does, will he blush?
Hahahahaha Melusina's answer was "o_O" and I think that is the best possible answer.

15. Will Ginny use, "But Professor Lupin saw the futility of being a noble prat!" for one of her million arguments with Harry about why they should be together? Do you think they’ll get back together at all?
I seriously hope they don't argue about this all the time. The whole Spiderman argument thing is old. But yeah, if he lives, they'll get back together. Tru luv 4 eva.

16. Which house do you think Tonks is in, and why?
Gryffindor, because everyone important is in Gryffindor... I mean what? I doubt she's a Slytherin, she's certainly not Ravenclawy, and you could argue Hufflepuff, I guess, but more or less she seems kind of brazen and stupid just like the rest of Gryffindor.

17. Who will be revealed to be the heir of Gryffindor?
Is there an heir? I thought this plotline died. Anyway ...who cares. I bet it's like... ...Neville.

18. As JKR has promised the final chapter will be like an epilogue; how do you think the final paragraph will read?
That is an improper use of a semicolon. And anyhow, I have no idea.

TRULY enlightening stuff here, folks.

Silly Love Songs is ... going, albeit slowly. Going. Haha.

Tags: harry potter, meme, rec

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