i fucking really hate myself right now. i'm so pissed off and angry and hurt that i can't even describe it. i searched for nearly 2 hours for stupid aerosmith tickets, and all i kept getting were crappy upper and lower level seats. last time i got the amazing seats in 10 minutes, not even. it makes me so mad to think that i took the day off and stayed home and got all excited to find out that i wouldn't even be able to get them. fuck this shit. i'm putting my check in the bank and i'll search another day, or maybe i won't even search at all. what's the point? everyone from aeroforceone gets to go to a million concerts a year and they always get these crazy seats, but i'm only 17. i don't have a full-time job and all this money to put into aerosmith all the time. who knows how long they'll be touring. this would probably be my last real chance to see them, but i can't. i don't know. maybe i'll ask jean to try and look or something. who fucking knows. anything & everything that has ever been good in my life always disappears. the only guy i ever really liked graduated, and he never liked me. the band i'd do anything for are coming here and i can't even find good seats. i stayed home and missed a day of school for nothing. fuck this shit.