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i'm holding out and i'm holding on, to every letter.. and every song..   
03:50pm 27/03/2008
mood: chipper

can't believe its almost a year since i last posted about getting my tickets.. and had a massive journey in site...

Which it was...

And now I am planning another one...


This place is the past for me.. but it is nice to drop in once n a while and see whats going on..

Hi remaining fellas !

(1 flame | light my fire)

01:26pm 18/05/2007
  The most insidious form of fear...is the fear of being afraid....Yet, if in the face of fear, we can summon the strength and the faith to go forward, I think that far more often than not we find that one of two things happens. Either the encounter with the thing being feared demonstrates that it is by no means as laden with terrible properties as we supposed from a distance, a discovery which tends to dissolve the fear itself. Or else, terrible as the encounter may prove to be, it is one which can be endured and which can fortify us in the endurance....  

(light my fire)

11:00pm 17/05/2007
  I need clarity.

I need to know.

(5 flames | light my fire)

09:19pm 15/05/2007
  I am SOOSOSOSO tired.

Do they give travel insurance to mong heads. hahaha

I just called up about some questions I needed to ask them... and the poor chick on the end musta thought she was dealing with a compete moron. I Am so tired, I think she thought I had the iq of a goldfish.

Oh well. i'm going to go to bed.

night munchkins. xo

(light my fire)

08:52pm 14/05/2007
mood: accomplished
......is how I feel........

I got so much done today, i feel really really happy!

And I can now drive on international roads... uh oh, watch out world!

I had 2 more things to cross of my massive list for the day, but I have just hit a brick wall and won't be able to do those!!! oh welllls!! I will have to wait for the reply email and then I will do them.

I am so tiredddddddddddddddd, i've been there there n everywhere!



(But i still have to have tests, we are just putting them in the back of ones mind for the minute!)

(light my fire)

because i couldn't be bothered...........   
09:08pm 10/05/2007
  i've been ging mental the past say week

people being the complete opposite of what they usually are

and i find myself

constantly following other

like... yes sir no sir three bags full sir

and i find myself walkign on eggshels around people

i don't feel i am in control of anything nor anyone

I feel like I go round spending my time tryign to please others

and am getting fucked over in the process

I find i am always the one bowing down

I find i don't have respect form people

and i also find that, letting people in can really fucking hurt

I find that I worry too much about what people think

and i also find that i am easily blamed / yelled at for things

because people knwo i will take it

with a grain of salt

I am not taken seriously

I don't think I ahve anyone who would drop the world for me

if i needed it

and i just don't knwo who i am right now

i don't like what i think i am

I think i am pathetic

I think i need way too much reassurance

but i ahve potential to be awesome

and i just want to be able to show it

No not pathetic

scrub that

I think i am struggling

with myidentity...

but regardless of my identity

all those things about other people

are not going to change regardless if i find y identity or not

I feel i am like....

always the one to follow on

I want to be the one people want to ring

to hangout

I don't want to always be the one making the plans

I want to be wanted

(5 flames | light my fire)

10:57pm 09/05/2007
mood: sore
Had a needle, or two... and it HURTS.

yes i am beign a whinging biatch.

But seriously... it hurt a teeeny bit when she put the needle INTO ME. But now, 10 hours later.... my arm feels like a mass dead weight. The left arm is... okayish... the point of entrystill pangs a wee bit... but crikey, the left.. yeah, WHO NOTHER STORY.


Had another SHIT HOUSE morning. Day got sorta better... but i was still bored shitless... so much work, so many things i could be doing and all i want is someone decent to entertain me on the work communicator chat thingo! jeeebus!!!

Got thru the the BHC today, toook their time in answering the phone.

Anyways, all is sweet, gave me the info i REALLY wnated to hear.. and now.. I can send all my papers off and become one of them... woooop de dooooo!

Okay well it just hit 11 on the knocker and i promised myself i'd be in bed by now.. so as to not disobey myself, i shall bid thee adieu!

MWAhs xo

(5 flames | light my fire)

09:36pm 08/05/2007
  Oh no

Its taking over again.


just two weeks and you'll be fine... TWO WEEKS.

oh me oh my, oh me oh my.

Shocker of a day...like seriuosly, SHOCK KER.

Over it, over feeling like arse... so i made my point clear today... goodbye man, GOOD BYE. I have no time for your shit.

Liars, fakes, Frauds, FALSENESS!

na ah no thank you.

i just want to be ME.

Love you space cadets.

(2 flames | light my fire)

09:34pm 06/05/2007

I cut all my hair off.... not like crazy short... but short for me... pretty much the shortest i've had it..since i was... 5! ha ha

I'm such a TOSSER because i do care heaps about what others think, so i want people to like it.. and when one of your best mates has the reaction of "Uhhh u look old" hahaha... kinda makes me go.. UH OH... but then... to even it out, my other best mate said it looked good, but i dunno fi she actually meant it, or she was scared to tell the truth of what she thought incase i threw my hndbag at her.......

Oh gee... its nice to be thinking about somehting pathetic for a bit instead of like... Passports, or travel insyrance or this or that.. so i thought i'd just post about the random hair issues or non issues, whatever!!!

The "DO" is going to be a bit more manageable... i think... i hope... or maybe i am just convincing myself of that...........

ITS HAIR IT WILL GROW.... right? LOL... oh well, if i idn't do it, i'd always be wondering... mum actually thought it was going to be shorter than what it is... so i really don't knwo what she had in mind, i'm glad she wasn't directing the show!

So............. I was about to start rabbiting on about PROPER things, but i won't, not for one night.

Love you cowboys.

(2 flames | light my fire)

I've never tried to make the best of my time..when i thought that I had plenty of it....   
08:10pm 03/05/2007
mood: calm

things are getting tough.. and weird... and sad.. and urghhh arhhhhhhhh

I am peaking out about everything, i'm not enjoying myself anymore, i am too busy FLIPPING OUT!................... eish.....

I am starting to miss people when i have not even left.

I am starting to get upset aout the day, which is still 40 days away, when i have to say goodbye to the most wonderful work colleagues in the world.

Then its only 61 days until i leave the rest of the people i love.

Its so exciting, yet daunting.... Its a bit different this time, because i am not leaving on my own.... but there is SO much more preperation....

I have to get so much sorted...wish the travelling fairy would just come a long and do everything for me. hahahahha such a lazy lazyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i am.

I am having the day off tomorrow, to hopefully do some things and get passport photos and yadda yadda... i ahve to book my appointment for my vaccinations.. FUN FUN. Nothin like a good ole' JAB to kick start your day!

I have pretty much sorted out my bank account and my NI number which is one load off my shoulders... lovely people at BritBound i tells ya.

In other news.

I am being severely mis understood... for hanging out with a guy who has a fiancee. I don't see the ISSUE. i don't like him like that and he loves her. whats the problem? But nooooooooo u have to go and make out like i'm a dirty stop out. BAH HUMBUG TO YOU MATEY!

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I want an IPOD, like really really... some people are like.. Just get a cheaper one.. but PFT, they are all shite and have a terrible lifespan.... this was if i get one, it can be fixed and it has warranty etc etc etc

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh will update again... sooon... if your lucky.


(light my fire)

Well finally...   
12:19pm 24/03/2007
  I am finally booked for my overseas trip!

How awesomely amazingly SCARY!!!!

Leave Melbourne on the 4th of July headed for Thailnd, then get to England on the 26th July.....

there so so so much to organise.. i have to finalise my Visa and ring the embassey to see if i can get my english passport, I have to get all my injections for all the random things i can catch in thailand, i have to sort out all my insurance, I have to fidn the BEST travel pack for me, as i will be back packing heaps round europe...

Epppppppppppppp so much to dooooooooooooooooooo!

(1 flame | light my fire)

G'day !   
08:04pm 10/03/2007
mood: calm

I am stil alive, it just seems so... useless writing in here anymore..

I'm ususallly logging onto myspace.. feel free to drop by www.myspace.com/summadaze


I used to love live journal, but now, i just can't be arsed!

I am moving to the UK in 3 months, so i am totally wrapped about that, sooo scared, yet so excited.. I just don't know what to do!!!

I am going from here to thailand then to London. Who knows where i am satying in london or what i am going to be doing, but non the less i will be going! I've been assured I will find a job in no time, so i am going by that and hoping for the best! t isn't really that un planned, but yeah...

I will definately give a more updated scheduel of what I am doing.

I also need to make a web page, something that can have folders with pics in thats simple to upload to and somewhere for me to write a journal and obviously, somewhere people can respond...

I don't need any other fancy gidgets and gizmos, just simple.. and user friendly.. if anyone has any suggestions really, TELL ME! i need to start getting it sorted.

I can't have my live journal as my overseas journal as a lot more people from here will be reading it and i really don't want all my past hits and failures disclosed to those I have kept it secret from!!!!!

I hope you are all doing superbly well and are happy and enjoying life!!!!



(light my fire)

oh my GOSH!   
11:43pm 15/01/2007
  Its aliveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


(2 flames | light my fire)

what the....   
09:57pm 11/12/2006

yes folks, you heard right, i was in KMART today, just browsing thru the toy section as i now have 3984734984 babies in my life, and i walked past barbie and kinda didn't recognise her... with all the brow streaks she has through her.. already fake blonde hair!!!!

now seriously, what sort of msg is this sending out the young impressionable 8 yar olds!!!!


why not leave her as BLONDE BIMBO BARBIE!!! why go make her BLONDE BIMBO BARBIE TARYING TO FOOL US WITH BROWN FOILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(6 flames | light my fire)

I must confess....   
07:03pm 15/11/2006
  *stands up*

Hi My name is Meagan..

and i have a bubble wrap popping obsession....

*loud clapping and cheers*

(6 flames | light my fire)

09:22pm 10/11/2006
  We'll do it all
On our own

We don't need
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

(4 flames | light my fire)

08:54pm 02/10/2006
  I will take my fez in a hot ballooon before i die.

I promise Fez.


now and always xoxoxox

(7 flames | light my fire)

05:44pm 10/09/2006
  well its been a while.

I've been other places, dabbling in other things.

Fell off the face of the earth, hot ballooned it back up...

I miss things.

But i love a lot more.

(3 flames | light my fire)

02:07pm 06/08/2006

(3 flames | light my fire)

09:57pm 24/07/2006
  This time tomorrow I will be somewhere in the middle of the ocean..
(hopefully still On the ship :/)


(3 flames | light my fire)