pg, yoochun/yunho, 1660
when changmin's plans go awry, they really go awry. just ask yoochun and yunho.
an idea conceived with lotus_beauty during one of the rare moments i was watching tv with her. ah, commercials. it promptly went downhill and exploded from there. i have pretty much this entire thing mapped out, so it will actually get updated in less than three months, i swear. ^^;
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If you ask Changmin, he’ll tell you the entire thing was Yoochun’s fault.
If you ask Yoochun, he’ll tell you the entire thing was Changmin’s fault.
Yunho? After he stops blushing, he might admit that a large part of it was his fault.
Jaejoong and Junsu are just glad the drama’s over.
(They both still blame Changmin, unfairly so, according to him.)
Changmin was about two seconds away from strapping Yoochun to his desk chair with Jaejoong’s belt collection, gagging him, and putting his entire porn video playlist on loop. The sad thing was, it wouldn’t even have been for his own gratification. He was just that desperate to make Yoochun shut up about needing to get a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or at least get laid.
What made matters worse was that Changmin was the only one who had to hear it. Nearly any time they weren’t performing, Junsu could be found either out with his brother or playing a video or computer game. Yunho wasn’t really the kind of guy one would go to to complain about one’s (lack of a) sex life. Jaejoong shared half his brain with Yoochun anyways so they didn’t even need to talk about it.
Which left Changmin’s fingers twitching ever closer to the couch pillow. Maybe if he just smothered him he’d stay quiet for a little bit.
Flipping channels on the television provided little distraction, and when an Ayumi Hamasaki PV came on and Yoochun started to rhapsodize about older women and wondered aloud at just how big a Tohoshinki fan she was, Changmin lost it. The fringe on the pillow made for a good handhold and allowed him to get in several good whacks before Yoochun tackled him against the arm of the couch.
Ten minutes of poking, punching, and more than a little biting later, Changmin had Yoochun pinned to the floor half under the low living room table.
“Mmm, kinda nice,” Yoochun groaned in his best (worst) bedroom voice.
Changmin smushed his face into the rug to keep him from saying anything else. “Not my type, hyung.”
“Somptzrrtpp…,” said Yoochun, eloquently. Then he wiggled. Changmin fled back to the couch.
“Ew. I’ve been violated.”
“Who’s doing the violating?” Junsu chirped, head sticking around the corner leading into the hallway.
Waving his arm around the side of the couch, Yoochun flopped over just enough to inform Junsu that Changmin was going to get him laid. Junsu made it all the way down to the other end of the hall before his chants of ‘Too Much Information’ faded.
Yoochun sighed as he sprawled out at Changmin’s feet, ignoring the socked toes poking his hip.
“Being famous sucks sometimes.”
Making a low sympathetic noise, Changmin gave up physically assaulting Yoochun and stretched out along on the couch, head propped up on one hand so he could look down at Yoochun. “Why not use one of those online dating sites where you can be anonymous?” he said. “See if you can get to know someone without them knowing who you really are.”
“There’s two problems with that. One, it would require lying. Which you know I hate. And two, you can’t have sex through the internet.”
“You have to make things so difficult.” Changmin rolled his eyes. “One, don’t lie, just leave out unnecessary and/or incriminating information. Two, your laptop has a built in webcam. Learn how to use it.”
They sat in relative quiet for the next five minutes, Yoochun pondering Changmin’s suggestion and Changmin calculating the speed at which he would need to run to make it to his room before Yoochun realized he had moved. Preoccupied calculating, Changmin missed when Yoochun shifted and nearly squeaked when he looked back down and found Yoochun’s nose right in front of his own.
“You sure know a lot about this, Minnie. Been talking to other people behind my back?” Yoochun pouted.
Letting out a long suffering sigh, Changmin replied, “If you swear to never tease me about it ever again, I’ll show you a good site to go on.”
“…that was an awfully quick response.”
Yoochun grinned. Changmin just raised an eyebrow.
“I said ‘deal’. Now where’s this website?”
Too busy dragging Changmin back to his room for his laptop, Yoochun missed the half curious, half thoughtful look Yunho shot them as they brushed by him on their way down the hall.
Later that night, Changmin had gone to bed and curled up with his laptop propped up sideways against his thigh. Some time later, Yunho slid into the room quietly with a strangely earnest expression. Changmin gave him a questioning look as he sat down beside him and leaned against the headboard.
“Yes?” Changmin said, his gaze already having turned back to his screen.
“Earlier…,” Yunho paused, clearly trying to decide how to continue. “With Yoochun. What you were talking about.”
Changmin started typing. “Hyung, do you want me to set up an account for you, too?”
Yunho would have facevaulted off the bed had he not been sitting so close to Changmin.
“How did you know that’s what I was going to ask!”
Reaching over to pat the top of Yunho’s head with his left hand, Changmin kept typing with the right. A few seconds later, the dating site he had shown Yoochun was up on his screen. He scooted up so that he was sitting upright and passed the laptop to Yunho, smirking.
“Because I’m psychic. Obviously. And because I know you’re getting antsy in your old age. You’ll need time for your future wife to pop out all twenty-five of those kids you said you wanted.”
After going through about seven different shapes, Yunho’s mouth finally settled on a disgruntled pout as he set about filling in the information on the form.
“Reconsidering that ‘Leader’ role?” Changmin grinned, then leaned against Yunho’s shoulder, paying a vague sort of attention to what Yunho was doing. At least, until Yunho stopped typing, then started tapping his index finger against the side of the laptop in thought.
“I can’t think of a user name. At least, not one that doesn’t scream ‘I’m in TVXQ!’ or look like a fanboy. Or that isn’t already taken.”
“’ChangminIsMyFavorite’ sounds good to me.”
“I think I’d also like to avoid sounding like a Disney princess, if that’s okay with you.”
“Whatever you say, hyung.”
“Hmm…,” Yunho thought for a moment and seemed to come to a decision, letting out a quiet exclamation when it went through.
“What’d you pick?” Changmin said, glancing up at Yunho to see a light blush on Yunho’s cheeks.
“I remembered a poem I used to love when I was younger, seemed to fit. But I only remember the last part.”
Yunho cleared his throat. “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— / I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference.”
“Sappy, I know, but—”
“No. Well, yeah. But it’s you,” Changmin gave a soft smile and shook his head. “Only you would put that much thought into a screen name.”
Scratching the back of his neck, Yunho laughed weakly. “It’s not too sappy, is it?”
Changmin’s evil grin returned. “Although… If you think about it, it does kind of make you sound like you’ve never gotten laid.”
He gave Yunho time to sputter before repositioning his shoulder for maximum comfort and lying back down against it.
“Use the name, ‘kay?”
A few minutes later, Changmin was disturbed from his half-sleep by Yunho’s tapping. Again.
“What’s your dilemma this time?”
“It wants me to rate how attractive I am.”
Changmin peered blurrily at the screen for a moment before making an annoyed sort of noise.
“There’s such a thing as too much self-deprecation, hyung. If you’re ‘average’ then the rest of us are just screwed.”
Frowning, Yunho protested, “But I don’t want people to think I’m arrogant!”
“No worries there,” Changmin mumbled under his breath. “Look. Just give me the laptop. I am much more objective than you are.”
Yunho’s frown deepened. Changmin reached for his computer, batting Yunho’s hand out of the way. When Yunho tried to hang on to it, Changmin grabbed the laptop by the front and yanked. “Do you honestly think I would lie simply to cater to any of your egos? Okay then.”
Settling back in and ignoring Yunho’s huff of disapproval, Changmin scrolled down to where Yunho had been, since he’d apparently hit the touchpad in the battle for the computer. He made it through two questions before Yunho’s pointy above-average chin digging into his shoulder got to be too much.
“Yah! I can’t do this with you two centimeters from my face. Go do something productive,” he said as he shoved Yunho over. “I’ll tell you when I’m done. Go!”
Yunho hovered next to the bed until Changmin gave him a serious look. “Hyung, trust me, okay? We all know each other about as well as anyone can, and I want you to be happy. I’ll let you look everything over before I submit it if you want.”
Smiling at how Changmin always seemed to know what to say (even if he ignored that knowledge most of the time and just wreaked havoc instead), Yunho nodded and ruffled Changmin’s hair.
“I do trust you, Minnie.” Then he grinned. “And if you can find me the perfect wife on there, I’ll make you the best man at the wedding.”
Changmin laughed and replied, “But won’t Jaejoong be mad?”
Yunho gave him a conspiratorial smirk over his shoulder as he walked to the door. “Nah, he’ll be too busy berating the caterers and fixing all of the last minute details.”
Giggling at the mental image, Changmin waved a warning finger at Yunho. “I’m going to tell him you said that!”
“No you won’t~”
“Mm. Yeah. You’re right.”
Ten minutes later, Changmin was still smiling as he hit ‘Submit’.
continue to part 2