September 25th, 2009

in motion

"who says comic books are only for boys because"


Do you harbor a secret dream of powering up to fight the good fight?  But -- sort of like walking and chewing gum at the same time -- you're simultaneously a woman?  Oh, you silly little sexy thing, you. Everyone knows you're just there to look cute!

Disguise Costumes is apparently the world's leading costume manufacturer, and their website offers an assortment of licensed characters.  They've got a line of costumes called Marvel Heroes (which means male heroes), with pages dedicated to describing each individual character.  For example, Captain America: "committed to fighting the evils of this perilous new era!" Or Iron Man, who "dons sophisticated steel-mesh armor of his own design, he becomes a living high-tech weapon-the world's greatest human fighting machine!" Spider-Man: "highly intelligent, and uses his wits in addition to his powers..." Thor? "...On a mission to be a superhero on Earth." Heck, even The Hulk has the agency to become "the most powerful man-like creature ever to walk the face of the Earth!"  Each of these costumes comes complete with not only an on-site description of the character's story and powers, but links to their pages on Marvel.com, Wikipedia, and imdb.

However, if you've got breasts? Your options are lumped into the Women of Marvel Collection and displayed all together on one page. Here's the entirety of the copy the Women of Marvel receive:

"Inspired by some of the most well known Marvel super heroes we have created a line of fashion forward costumes for women and girls who have the desire to be fun and playful for Halloween. Who says comic books are only for boys because with great power comes great style.  Great to team up with a few of your fellow super heroines to save the world."
 
Disguise carries four women characters from the Marvel universe: Black Cat, Emma Frost, Spider-Girl, and American Dream.  None of these characters gets any individual description, because who cares what they do, or who they are?  (It's not as though they star in their own movies, after all.)  Each of the female costumes is labeled "sassy", as in "Emma Frost Sassy Deluxe." Instead of symbolizing strength, action, or commitment to mission, these little outfits are expressly about their wearer's desire to be fun and playful. Or hey, girls, you could make it a party and do something vaguely hero-ish with support from your gal pals, you know, if you feel like it!  Great power may bring great responsibility to the menfolk, but don't worry, ladies: it brings you style.

Every year around this time, I am filled with the blazing desire to punch someone. With telepathy, of course; wouldn't want to break a nail!

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Girls's Costume Warehouse

Are you a girl? Is it Halloween?