December 8th, 2008

in motion

it's funny cos it's cold


David J. Schwartz schools you like only a northern man can:

There is a myth that the Eskimos have a ridiculously high number of words for snow. The truth is that every language has as many types of snow as it has adjectives. A few of the more common types in English are:

* Wet snow: snow which is ideal for making snowballs, snowmen, snowforts, and snow cannons.
* Dry snow: snow which is used for martinis
* Crusty snow: snow which has a funny smell and habitually complains about kids these days
* Christmas snow: snow which starts hanging out in the malls around Halloween, making fun of turkeys
* Black snow: snow which suffers from emphysema
* Blue snow: snow which is particularly sensitive to the cold
* Yellow snow: snow which is cowardly and also not recommended for eating
* Green snow: snow which has just arrived at the front and is likely to get the rest of the unit killed if it doesn't wise up
* Clingy snow: snow which sticks to one's coat and melts when one moves indoors, only to send text messages every hour asking "where r u?" If ignored it will call your mother.

From How To Walk In Snow, A PAMPHLET