A Brief Investigation of the Process of Decay, by Genevieve Valentine
There was a pause before "interested" that meant "acclimated," as if Mars was going to be just like the rez, except without oxygen.
If you're nominating short stories for any awards this year, I hope you will consider the delightful assortment available in the Strange Horizons archives. It would make us very happy to see some of our favorite stories get a well-deserved wider recognition.
Related only by virtue of the fact that Ms. Valentine is the purveyor of all things funny and has brought this skit to my attention: I have to admit there are times when I wish Jane Austen scenes would end this way.