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29 December 2006 @ 08:28 pm
First Times (2/2) - Jack/Ianto  
Title: First Times (Part Two)
Author: _stolendreams_
Rating: uh, 15?
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Spoilers: Everything up to Out of Time
Summary: A series of first times from Ianto's point of view
Distribution: Here, FF.net and TWA
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. I'm making no money from this.
Author's Note: Big big thanks first to dancy_dreamer for reassuring me that this was good enough to post, and then to silversolitaire for a wonderful and very speedy beta job, and for saving everybody from run on sentences without even a comma in sight ;-). A late Christmas present for everyone who asked for Ianto's point of view after reading part 1.

The first time Ianto finds Jack dead, he nearly passes out. He's half-way through dialling Owen's number when Jack suddenly gasps and starts breathing again. If it hadn't been for the fact that Jack was lying in a pool of his own blood and there was bloody hole in his chest, right over his heart, Ianto would have convinced himself he had just missed the pulse first time round in his panic. He still might have done if the hole hadn't healed over right before his eyes and Jack hadn't taken the phone off him and suggested he makes them some coffee.

The first time Ianto is kissed by Jack, he doesn't even know about it until it's almost over. He wakes to find himself cradled in Jack's arms, with the other man's lips pressed firmly against his. Then Jack pulls away and motions for him to be quiet. For a moment he can't move, he knows they must be trying to kill her, but Jack has his hand on his chest and somehow he can't bring himself to break eye contact with the man who earlier held a gun against his head. Then Lisa cries in pain and he doesn't care anymore. He scrambles away, vaguely aware of the fact that his sudden movement has caused Jack to partially collapse on the floor behind him, but too afraid that they've killed the woman he loves to give it another thought.

The first time Ianto really, truly hates Jack is only minutes later. He watches Jack cover Lisa with the sauce they put on Myfanwy's food and knows exactly what Jack is going to do and is helpless to stop him. He fights so hard against the hold Owen and Gwen have on him that their hands leave bruises on his shoulders, and he begs Jack to have mercy on her. Her screams mingle with the Pterodactyl’s cries to form a sound he will never be able to forget. Outside, he punches Jack, puts all his strength into it, and would do it again if only Gwen wasn't in the way.

The first time Ianto thinks maybe Jack isn't a monster after all is when the fairies take the little girl. He listens to the others condemn Jack, hears Gwen call him heartless and Owen curse and Tosh talk about the look in the mother's eyes, and hates Jack even more. But that only lasts until he sees the look on Jack's face when he walks back in. He gets the whole story from Tosh by making her favourite coffee as soon as Owen and Gwen have left. It's when she admits that she doesn't know what else Jack could have done that he realises, in the end all of them would probably have done the same thing if faced with that choice. The next morning, he finds Jack dead in his office. He cleans up the mess without comment.

The first time Ianto realises he's totally forgiven Jack is after nearly being eaten by cannibals. He watches in terror as Jack bursts in and saves the day. He can pinpoint the moment when his anger and disgust change to concern and compassion. It's the moment Jack looks at him. Jack pulls the gag out of his mouth and Ianto makes a pathetic attempt to hide his sheer dread by voicing a prayer to a god he doesn't even believe in in Welsh. The relief is so overwhelming and Jack is being so gentle and looking so concerned that he finds himself collapsing forward against him, shaking, as he whispers his thanks over and over.

The first time Ianto kisses Jack back is the same night. He makes tea, because the last thing they need is coffee when Tosh has only just stopped shaking and he still jumps at every unexpected noise. Eventually, exhaustion takes over and Tosh falls asleep against his shoulder. It's only when he gets her settled that he discovers Jack has been standing there watching every move. Jack, looking so calm and unruffled and in control, despite the fact that he shot a dozen people within the space of a minute. Ianto finds himself stepping forward and allowing himself to be drawn into a kiss. He kisses back. The moment is lost when Tosh stirs in her sleep. He pulls away and avoids looking at him while he tidies up the tea cups.

The first time Ianto sleeps with Jack is after Suzie dies the second time. He does the clean up, just like he always does, except this time Jack appears and makes half-hearted suggestions that it should be him doing it. They stand there on either side of their dead colleague and for the first time since they all came back, Jack lets his guard down. Ianto can see the pain and the exhaustion and how much it hurt to shoot Suzie so many times and to think that he'd lost Gwen too. He does the only thing he can think of, he offers himself to Jack. It takes a moment for Jack to catch on but when he does the smile is well worth the wait. In the morning he awakes to Jack kissing him and this time he's not confused or frightened at all.

The first time Ianto thinks he might be falling in love with Jack is after John kills himself. He spends the night in Jack's bed, just holding him as he sleeps. Whatever Jack says about never sleeping, Ianto knows that he always sleeps after he dies. He realises though that he's never before actually seen him sleep; usually he knows when Jack wakes screaming from nightmares that Ianto has never had the courage to ask about. For the first time, Ianto is in Jack's bed fully clothed and watching him sleep. He discovers that somehow, in his sleep, Jack becomes vulnerable. One fist grips Ianto's shirt lightly, as though, even in sleep, he is afraid he will be left alone. The thought of leaving never crosses Ianto's mind.

Part 1 is here
losergeek42losergeek42 on December 29th, 2006 09:19 pm (UTC)
The last one completely floored , "He discovers that somehow, in his sleep, Jack becomes vulnerable. One fist grips Ianto's shirt lightly, as though, even in sleep, he is afraid he will be left alone. The thought of leaving never crosses Ianto's mind."

It is all absolutely amazing, characterisation is brilliant, I adore your take on everything, Just- wow.

_stolendreams_ on December 29th, 2006 10:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I struggled with how to end the last one, so I'm really glad you liked that bit.
tonko_ni: Torchwood: Jack/Iantotonko on December 29th, 2006 09:46 pm (UTC)
You wrote it, hurrah!! And it was so worth the wait. I love each part, and the last one in particular because a lot of times, that kind of scene isn't handled quite so well, leans too far into saccharine and makes me roll my eyes, but yours was just the right amount of sweet and comforting.

I'm glad you posted. Don't deny your bunnies, they make good fic!
_stolendreams_ on December 29th, 2006 10:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you :) I'm really glad you thought the last part wasn't overdone.

My bunnies don't let me deny them since Torchwood started, they're turning into vicious little things, I think they must be learning how to fight from the weevils ;)
shara50 on December 29th, 2006 10:09 pm (UTC)
Very lovey and insightful.
_stolendreams_ on December 29th, 2006 10:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you
kephkephisos on December 29th, 2006 10:11 pm (UTC)
Omg yay sequel! *hugs* <3

The vunerability of Jack is so beautiful, and Ianto's point of view fits in so well. I love the way that Ianto understands.
_stolendreams_ on December 29th, 2006 10:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Glad you liked it
Savvy Mavvy Mafia Mob Boss: [tw] gorgeous Iantomaverick0324 on December 29th, 2006 10:48 pm (UTC)
Oh... oh this is just... *hands* I love it so much. I love the slow progression we see of Ianto's emotions and feelings towards Jack. I love the contrast and difference from Jack's own emotions.

But most of all, I love the last line. It's just so... so bloody good.
_stolendreams_ on December 30th, 2006 04:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it, I'm especially glad you like the last line.
ru_salki99ru_salki99 on December 30th, 2006 01:14 am (UTC)
yay! I love it. It totally compliments Jack's version beautifully.
_stolendreams_ on December 30th, 2006 04:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)
DarthHelloKittydarthhellokitty on December 30th, 2006 02:04 am (UTC)
This is *beautiful*, a perfect mirror to the first part. I like that Ianto has no idea that he cried in his sleep when they slept together, and that he has no intention of leaving.
_stolendreams_ on December 30th, 2006 04:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
fajrdrakofajrdrako on December 30th, 2006 02:45 am (UTC)
Lovely ending. Your Ianto is sweet - just as he should be.
_stolendreams_ on December 30th, 2006 11:19 pm (UTC)
I do like writing sweet Ianto. :)
adafrogadafrog on December 30th, 2006 03:36 am (UTC)
Beautiful. Well done. Thanks.
_stolendreams_ on December 30th, 2006 11:19 pm (UTC)
You're welcome :)
NOM NOM NOM: jack/iantosam42 on December 30th, 2006 07:23 am (UTC)
Oh, I love this. I like the idea that Jack sleeps after he dies. He has the sleep because it makes him so tired, but the darkness reminds him of dying and he hates it...the angst just writes itself. But this dealt with the angsty things in a subtle way that deangstified them just the right amount to make it almost sweet.

While I love a good Jack/Ianto smutfic, I love fics like these: well written, introspective looks into the nature of their relationship.
NOM NOM NOM: alex penissam42 on December 30th, 2006 07:24 am (UTC)
He has to sleep, even, not the. Doh.
_stolendreams_ on December 30th, 2006 11:22 pm (UTC)
Lol. I'm glad you liked that part. I had to come up with a reason why Jack slept, because canon is so vague and contradictory on that, and I knew when I wrote the first part I could write it without an explanation but I needed one for this part. That he sleeps after he dies just seemed to make so much sense.

Thank you
Mara: Jack/Iantomara_202 on December 30th, 2006 08:43 am (UTC)
Wow. I love it. The ending is just perfect!
_stolendreams_ on December 30th, 2006 11:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you
subtly_modded: hail to the kingsubtly_modded on December 30th, 2006 09:35 am (UTC)
lovely. really liked them all.
_stolendreams_ on December 30th, 2006 11:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you :) I'm glad you liked it
diablo_dancerdiablo_dancer on January 2nd, 2007 06:01 pm (UTC)
Both of these are amazing. Very in character. :D
taelonmahal on January 6th, 2007 10:35 am (UTC)
I read all the TW stories you posted here and they are all very beautiful. :)
Fanneydangerous_47 on January 16th, 2007 12:13 am (UTC)
Wow. I love both parts. So very, very well written. :)
nightporters on January 22nd, 2007 10:03 pm (UTC)
As per all the others comments it was beautiful. The last paragraph was perfect.