August 24th, 2005

perfect as im ever gonna be

(no subject)

ive noticed that the IMPORTANT things in my life, i like to exclude people out of, or at least i keep it out of my journal. i guess i feel that if i boost about being so happy, or whatever, that its bound to bring unhappiness in. i hate being unhappy, whereas other people can greet it.. i REFUSE. i will smile even if it KILLS me. ive learned that this is NOT normal, nor functional. maybe to you, but to somebody looking at me from the outside, they would PROBABLY tell me its better not to pride yourself even when your unhappy. just let it out, and not bottle it up. i guess im too concerned about sounding depressive or boring that i almost tend to ignore my unhappy emotions at times. i wait until their about to burst, and let it out. whatever.

my updates are going to be scarce ;x lack of motivation/time/things to write worth the time for someone to read.
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